


Student's Problem

by Serade



Series: Problem [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Complicated Relationships, Depression, Drama, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of suicide attempt, Non-Exclusive Relationship(s), Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Romance, Self-Harm, Sequel, Smoking, Smut, Therapy, Threesome - M/M/M, mentions of family abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:44:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 47,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8182441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serade/pseuds/Serade
Summary: When Laxus and Bickslow finally stop pretending they can get over another, they pack up and flee to Crocus to start over and forget the complicated, not to mention illegal beginnings of their relationship. In the capital, they plan to live happily ever after. As it turns out, the 'after' part is not always that easy. Especially not when old scars tear open and the truth comes knocking.(As in the first part, Gajeel/Levy and other pairs are on the sidelines)





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> ABANDONED/UNFINISHED WORK

Bickslow deliberately left the door to the bathroom open when he got in the shower. He didn't look back, but he knew Laxus was watching every step. The poor bastard was still waiting for the painkiller to kick in and dull his headache, but that didn't mean Bickslow had any intention to go easy on the man. On the contrary. It was a challenge. Could he lure his hungover boyfriend out of bed?

Of course he could.

Turning the water on, he stepped into the spray and gave a theatrical moan. He stretched thoroughly in the heat, vocalising a few hums and groans. Laxus was definitively listening.

Looking around for shampoo, Bickslow spotted one lonely bottle on the shelf. How the hell Laxus had such soft hair would forever remain a mystery. It wasn't due to conditioner at least.

Popping the cap open, he smelled the contents. Lemon, just like Laxus. Pouring a dab into his palm and massaging it into his hair, he enjoyed the aroma unfolding in the little cubicle. Rinsing his hair, he gave another hum and glanced toward the bedroom.

Laxus hadn't moved yet, but he was looking. Resting his head on his crossed arms, he watched every movement with unwavering focus. Damn, Bickslow loved those piercing orange eyes. They were ferocious even now.

Craning his neck, he stretched yet again before running a hand down his side. Turning around to make sure Laxus could see all of him, he leaned back against the tiles, and willed himself not to arch away from the uncomfortable cold. A sudden shudder of discomfort was not sexy.

Tilting his head up and closing his eyes, he reached down, running his hands up along his inner thighs before wrapping one around his cock. Softly, he worked himself up. He made a show of it, occasionally arching his back, moving his head to a new angle, or letting out a breathy sound.

Laxus had to be feeling really ill not to have moved by now. He was giving one hell of a performance here, and he knew Laxus possessed no more restraint than him.

Meeting the stormy eyes head on, Bickslow licked his lips and firmed his grip. That got the man up. Finally, Laxus chucked the blanket off himself and waddled into the bathroom.

Success!

When Laxus opened the glass door to the shower, Bickslow smirked, “Oh? Are you joining me?”

“Like you didn't know I would, you tease”, Laxus grumbled.

His head was still hurting, but that eager gaze could motivate him under worse conditions. This man was going to be the end of him, and what a glorious end it would be.

Bickslow shrugged innocently, “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Sure you don't, you overconfident brat.”

“I believe myself to have the exact right amount of confidence”, Bickslow retorted and he chuckled.

“Where do I remember this from?”

It was just like that morning, after their first ill-informed hookup. But in all honesty, who would have guessed fate might be so cruel? Placing them in the same school, the same classroom even, as teacher and student. It wasn't fair.

It was a harsh wakeup call when they realised their mistake, but in hindsight, it was a little funny that they ended up making such a mess of it all. It was just like them, wasn't it? Two far too rash men.

“Gyha. We're missing music”, Bickslow chuckled.

“It'll have to do for now”, Laxus determined.

Closing the distance, he pressed himself against Bickslow, trapping him against the chilly wall and capturing his lips in a tender kiss.

Entwining his fingers in the blond hair, Bickslow hummed into the kiss and Laxus winced.

Despite his sexy boyfriend standing in the shower with him, aroused and eager, he could not get himself in the right mood. Not with his head feeling like it was stuck in a clamp from the wood shop. Laxus positioned himself under the warm water in an effort to soothe his headache.

Bickslow offered him a sympathetic pat and he sighed tiredly.

Realising that it might take a while before his lover was of any use again, Bickslow suggested softly, “You take a long relaxing shower until that painkiller kicks in, hm?”

With another tired grunt of agreement, Laxus pressed his head against the cool tiles.

Bickslow instead shimmied his way out. Dry and clean, he tucked the towel around his waist and went exploring.

The apartment was so much more than he had imagined. He had seen it in pictures before. Laxus had texted him while they were separated, giving him a glimpse of each room, but actually standing here was completely different.

The apartment was far bigger than he would have thought. They had a spacious bathroom and a bedroom big enough for their new closet, the wide bed, and bedside tables on both sides. Even the hallway was broad enough for two people to comfortably pass by. The living room was even more impressive. Even with the large couch, the TV, and the shelves filled with books and CD's, there was plenty of space left for two desks and chairs. Laxus had claimed the one closer to the window for himself, leaving Bickslow with the one in the very corner of the room. On it, Laxus had dropped his bag.

Bickslow grinned over both ears. His own personal desk. No one had used it before. No one had been sitting in that chair before. It was all brand new, and his. He flopped down on the comfortable seat and dug through his this things for a change of clothes.

“Why don't you just sort it all in right away?”, Laxus asked and he jumped in surprise.

Leaning against the door frame, the blonde stood, still looking somewhat ruffled, but at least not in pain any more. Spinning around in the office chair, Bickslow feasted his eyes on the sight. Laxus was gorgeous, his hair damp and nothing more than a towel covering him either.

Unable to take his gaze off the drop slowly running down Laxus's chest, Bickslow shrugged. “I don't know. I guess that would make sense.”

“It would”, Laxus chuckled. “You live here now.”

The drop travelled down the firm abs before it finally made its way to the edge of the towel, and Bickslow's eyes snapped back up.

“I sure do.”

Tossing his paperwork out of the bag and onto the desk, he took the rest with him into the bedroom. The little teddy bear Laxus had gifted him back when he was hospitalised got a special spot on the bedside table.

After changing into a pair of slacks, he opened their new closet. Finding that Laxus had chosen an interior that required almost everything to be hung, he shook the folded shirts and trousers out. He was a little nervous, placing his clothes beside Laxus's. It was special, because it made everything so real. They were living together. Like, actually living together, for real, shared closet, and bed, and shower, and everything.

Remembering just why their shoes were scattered on the bedroom floor, he picked them up. Smiling like a goof, he headed into the hallway to put them away properly. He felt so oddly overwhelmed, but hey, their shoes were standing beside another by the door! Their door, to their apartment!

Looking up again, he saw Laxus following him with an amused smile plastered on usually so stoic his face. Expecting a mocking comment about his silly behaviour, he crossed his arms over his chest in defence.

“What?”

“You're actually here. With me.”

Sure that he was blushing now, Bickslow hurried over to his boyfriend, wrapped his arms around the broad shoulders instead, and kissed him. Laxus was just as much of a goof as him this first morning together. Maybe heaven was a place on Earth Land after all.

Laxus smelled great newly showered. Humming against the soft lips, Bickslow ran his hands down to the fluffy towel and slowly unwrapped it from the firm hips.

“While I like where this is going”, Laxus interrupted. “I'm really hungry.”

“Gyha. Fine, fine. Breakfast it is.”

Turing to the only room he had not yet inspected, Bickslow found an awfully clean kitchen. The table had not a single item atop it, and neither did the counters. No bowl of fruit, no breadbox, no knife block, no toaster, not even a roll of household paper. But a single glass stood upside down on the drying rack beside the sink.

“I mean, knew you wouldn't use this room much, but I did expected at least a coffee machine or something."

“I eat breakfast at work”, Laxus shrugged. “Why? Do we need one?”

“In the long run, it would be nice”, Bickslow nodded. Having been told off by his psychiatrist, he had replaced alcohol with coffee.

Opening a few cabinets to see where Laxus had stashed plates and glasses, he began to doubt the man had any concept of kitchen organisation. He would have to reorder if he was going to be the one cooking for them, and that was a given.

Checking the fridge, he couldn't help but laugh. A lonely carton of eggs stood on the topmost shelf. Underneath, a tomato, two not so fresh looking bell peppers, and a litre milk resided.

“You haven't been grocery shopping in a while, huh?”

Grumbling a little at the amused tone, Laxus defended, “I wouldn't know what to get.”

Closing the fridge, Bickslow gave him an unbelieving look. Now he was exaggerating. At least Bickslow hoped he was. Laxus wasn't that helpless. He just didn't care much for this part of a household.

“How did you survive all this time?”

“I often ask myself the same”, Laxus chuckled.

“Do you at least have some salt?”

Laxus thought for a second before pointing toward one of the hanging cabinets.

Shaking his head yet again, Bickslow went rummaging and finally managed to produce scrambled eggs and fried vegetables. Plating his improvised dish, he started a mental list of implements they would need to buy. Number one was a proper salt shaker. He was not going to keep measuring it with a teaspoon. That was just ridiculous.

Laxus too had found a pair of trousers now. Sitting down at the barren kitchen table, he eyed the crude food Bickslow had prepared.

Noticing the sceptical look, Bickslow planted a hand on his hip and demanded, “What?”

“You're amazing”, Laxus mumbled and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“You made food out of nothing. You're a mage”, Laxus determined and he snorted.

“Gyha. Idiot.”

Scrambled eggs was what they had that first morning back when they met as well. It had been with bacon rather than bell pepper, but it was close enough. Today was so much better, though, because he wasn't just hijacking the kitchen of his latest lay. He was cooking in their kitchen for the first time. It was special, and he could swear the food was twice as good just because of it.

Smiling over both ears, he enjoyed the breakfast.

“Say Laxus? How could you afford an apartment this central on a teacher's salary?”

“I couldn't. My grandfather bought it.”

Bickslow frowned.

“Makarov Dreyar”, Laxus clarified and his jaw dropped.

“Your granddad is Makarov? The Makarov? The guy that owns all of the Fairy Tail schools and the Bank of Magnolia Town?”

“Afraid so”, Laxus confirmed.

Pointing his fork across the table, he added, “But that is not how I got the job. He didn't even know was I applying before I got the position.”

“I believe you”, Bickslow nodded. “So he owns this place?”

“No. It's mine on paper, but I have a debt with him.”

“I see.”

Bickslow sat quiet for a minute before asking, “Does he know?… About us?”

Laxus shook his head.

“No. I just told him I'm moving.”

He rubbed a hand over his neck and added, “It's not like he asked why, so…”

“Do you like the new job?”, Bickslow wondered and he nodded.

“Yea. It's good. The school isn't as strict which has its pros and cons. There aren't as many detentions to take care of, but a lot more small-time trouble. I'm not sure it's such a good idea to give people that kind of slack.” He frowned a little. “I don't know. Maybe I'm too strict. The school does have a good history with taking care of troubled youths.”

Thoughtfully, he gathered a few more lumps of egg onto his fork. “What do you think?”

Bickslow shrugged. “I don't know. It's not like being strict ever worked on me. Fairy Tail isn't really about that either, though. It's about taking responsibility for yourself.”

“Hm, guess you're right about that.”

“I'm glad you like it. I was kinda worried. I didn't want to be the reason you to move away from a job you liked to one you don't.”

“Don't you worry about that. If I don't like it, I'll find something else. As long as I can be with you, I'm not going to regret my decision”, Laxus ensured with a smile.

Bickslow blushed at the affectionate words. Averting his eyes, he smiled back, “Same here.”

Laxus finished his plate with a smirk on his face. It was rare to see Bickslow blush. His cheeks didn't turn red from embarrassment when he was the centre of attention, or even when he was naked. He was comfortable in his skin, and he didn't mind his own raw sides. Laxus was still trying to figure out just what could get Bickslow flustered, because he loved the sight. It seemed one effective method was well timed sweet talk.

Taking their plates to the sink, he set them aside and turned back around.

“Now I'm not hungry any more.”

Bickslow huffed a laugh.

“Oh? And what's that supposed to mean?”

Striding back to the table, Laxus cornered his boyfriend, bracing one arm on the tabletop and the other on the backrest of the chair. Now that all the complications were a thing of the past, he felt free to indulge fully in his dashing lover, to be more forward.

Leaning in close, he pressed a chaste kiss to Bickslow's cheek.

“I want to fuck you in every single corner of this flat.”

Chuckling, Bickslow met the stormy orange eyes. Gods, he really loved that hungry look. Paired with such a sweet voice whispering spicy words into his ear it made for the most delicious invitation.

“Sounds like a plan. We've got 'till Monday.”

Getting up, he hooked his fingers into the man's waistband and tugged the soft trousers down. Seeing that Laxus was as excited as him, he smirked even wider. He wrapped his fingers around the erection and gained an audible exhale. Laxus ground his hips into his grasp before aiming to back away.

Not willing to let go for whatever Laxus had in mind, Bickslow placed his free hand behind the man's head and pulled him into a hungry open mouthed kiss. Indulging in the warm tongue that mingled with his own, he again noticed Laxus pulling back and firmed his grip as counterargument.

Laxus agreed with the point he was making, staying in place and finding a hold in the black and blue hair instead.

Stroking down, Bickslow chuckled in anticipation for the gasp that inevitably left Laxus.

Now that the man wasn't trying to do… whatever it was he had tried before, Bickslow eased back instead.

“Sit down”, he urged, pushing Laxus backwards to the closest chair.

Taking a seat, Laxus watched in awe how Bickslow moved to the floor before him. How he consistently managed to drop to his knees with such elegance, Laxus had no idea. He had never seen Bickslow wobble or make an unappealing descend. Himself, he was clumsy as hell, and his knees always hit the ground a little too hard.

Bickslow's signature sly smirk on his lips, he crawled between Laxus's legs. Reaching for the waistband again, he pulled the tracksuit bottoms down entirely and Laxus kicked the cloth across the kitchen floor.

Eyeing the hard length before him, Bickslow licked his lips, and Laxus had to remind himself how to breathe. Bickslow leaned in and he could feel his cock jerk when a hot breath rolled it.

“Fucking hell.”

Grinning, Bickslow slowly dragged his tongue up the entire length. Cradling it, he pressed wet kisses back down the side and murmured against the sensitive skin, “I missed you.”

Shifting for a comfortable position, he reached down to pleasure himself as well. “So, so, damn much.”

Seeing Laxus's lips parting for an answer, he dove down, engulfing the hard member and turning Laxus's “me too” into a deep moan. It wasn't as though he needed to articulate those words when this breathless sound conveyed the exact same message.

Tangling a hand in Bickslow's unruly blue hair, Laxus had but one complaint. He couldn't see the way his boyfriend touched himself from this angle. The hot mouth working him didn't leave much motivation for him to make changes, though. He could watch later. They had all day. Hell, they had years to come.

Bickslow was truly his now, his brilliant, perfect boyfriend and lover.

“By Mavis, I love you.”

The dark red eyes glanced up at him and he groaned in desire.

“You are so fucking beautiful.”

Running his fingers through the soft hair and feeling Bickslow press his tongue against his cock, Laxus couldn't help but arch forward in another rumbling moan.

Bickslow marvelled at the lovely sounds. Ever since Laxus first admitted his feelings, he hadn't shied from repeating it, and he had never been one to keep quiet about his pleasure. The only time Bickslow could recall Laxus hushing his voice was when they, and it had admittedly been a foolish risk, had sex in the classroom back at Fairy Tail.

Stroking down his own cock in time with the bobs of his head, Bickslow indulged in the rewarding responses, the shifting hips and shuddered breaths.

Having gone far too long without his lover by his side, Laxus had little restraint. Last night's drunken fuck hadn't been nearly enough to sate his need. Nearing his climax, he clenched his fists in the black and blue hair.

Bickslow didn't mind the sting of pain in the least. It was enticing to know Laxus was loosing it. Not letting up, he soon had the salty fluid pulsing over his tongue. Whatever Laxus hated so much about that perfect naughty taste, he couldn't understand. Humming, he pulled away and swallowed the viscous spill down.

Looking back up and waiting for Laxus to collect himself enough to meet his gaze, Bickslow licked his lips.

“Living room next?”

Laxus barked a laugh. “Hell yea.”

  



	2. Sabertooth

Laxus grumbled in complaint. Grabbing his phone off the bedside table, he turned his alarm off. Whoever had named the tune 'calm morning' was an idiot.

He yawned aloud. Early mornings didn't usually bother him, but after this intense weekend he was sore and exhausted. The only thing that made this Monday okay was the ruffled black and blue hair resting on the pillow beside him. Bickslow's presence in his life was all the reason he needed to gather his willpower and force himself out of bed.

“Time to get up”, he prompted before disappearing in the bathroom.

When he returned a few minutes later, Bickslow was still in the exact same position, blanket pulled up over his shoulders and his legs curled under the covers.

“Oy! Bickslow!”

There was no response.

Bickslow was clearly awake. He lay far too still, almost holding his breath. Bewildered by the behaviour, Laxus walked around the bed only for Bickslow to turn his head away and hide against the pillow.

“You have school. Get up.”

“Go away”, Bickslow mumbled, and Laxus's heart constricted.

His voice was so shaky. Was he crying? Why?

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Laxus stroked a hand through the messy hair and asked softly, “Bickslow? Are you okay?”

He shook his head ever so little.

“Talk to me”, Laxus tried, but Bickslow just sniffed.

“Bickslow?”

“Please…”, Bickslow whimpered. “…just let me be.”

Laxus swallowed hard. He was absolutely not going to walk away now. Taking a measured breath, he tried to think of something he could do. Anything at all.

“Come on. You have to go. It's the first day”, he tried.

At that, Bickslow began to cry.

Laxus wanted to kick himself. It had been the exactly wrong thing to say. How had that not been obvious? Like Bickslow didn't know what day it was. It was likely one the reasons why Bickslow was so distraught to begin with.

He was such an idiot!

Stroking over the shaking shoulders, Laxus shook his head.

No. He wasn't. He didn't know that his words would hit a sore spot. Had he known, he wouldn't have said it. This wasn't his fault.

Tucking any unsolicited shame back where it came from, he focused on finding a solution.

“What can I do to help?”, he asked instead, but Bickslow didn't manage a response.

Joining his boyfriend under the blanket, Laxus took a hold of the crying man and forced him to turn to the side so he could breathe properly. Deprived of the pillow, Bickslow hid against Laxus's chest instead, pressing his forehead against the warm skin.

Wrapping his arms around Bickslow's shoulders, Laxus waited until the tears stopped falling.

Bickslow's eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks wet, and it broke Laxus's heart.

Stroking a few messy strands from Bickslow's forehead, he offered, “How about you take a hot shower and I prepare some breakfast for us, hm?”

Bickslow didn't answer, but he didn't protest either. Deciding to push, Laxus sat up and held a hand out for him.

“Come on. At least shower and eat. That's all I want.”

Bickslow gave him a hesitant glance, as though unsure whether it was care or trickery.

“I promise. You don't have to do anything other than shower and eat”, Laxus reassured.

Even if Bickslow crawled back into bed the second after, he would at least not lie here hungry. That was a start.

Bickslow eventually accepted the gesture and sat up, allowing Laxus to pull him to his feet and into a warm embrace.

After hugging his boyfriend tightly and pressing a tender kiss to his cheek, Laxus let go. Turning Bickslow around, he gave the man a slight nudge toward the bathroom and Bickslow's feet got the idea, carrying him all the way to the shower. Once the water started running, Laxus left for the kitchen to improvise some sort of sustenance.

In the tiled cubicle, with the running water covering for him, Bickslow began to cry all over again. Leaning against the cold wall, he made an effort to force his breathing back to normal, but no matter how hard he tried, his body wouldn't listen.

He couldn't make sense of it. Why wasn't he happy?! He was in Crocus, with his boyfriend, in their wonderful apartment. He was happy yesterday! Hell, he was euphoric yesterday. So what was this about?! A bit of nerves on the first day in a new school wasn't that odd, but what was with this sudden breakdown? He didn't react like that when he started at Fairy Tail. He didn't think it would be any worse to start at a new school here. He didn't really have anything to be worried about, even if he was starting in the middle of the semester. It would be fine. He knew that. So why?!

Forfeiting the battle, he curled together in the corner. The rushing of water around him and smattering down on the tiles was far too loud, but at least it covered the noise of his hitched breath.

When the frustration finally ebbed down and the water had washed the last tears away, Bickslow pulled himself back onto his feet and turned the tap off. It was first when he was almost dry that he realised he had forgotten to wash his hair.

Fuck it. He couldn't be bothered. He was too tired.

Dragging his feet, he forced himself past the all too inviting bed and toward the kitchen table.

Laxus was standing at the stove, hastily scrambling something out off a violently steaming pan.

Tentatively pulling a chair out, Bickslow cringed at the sound of it scraping against the floor. Everything was too loud today. The alarm. The shower. The stove. The chair.

Sighing, he took a seat and stared down at the brown surface. At least the tabletop was quiet.

Laxus muttered something at the other end of the room and Bickslow gave another dejected exhale.

He felt so fucking useless. What drama he caused early on a Monday morning. This was surely not what Laxus had in mind for their first week living together.

The pancakes Laxus was making broke when he plated them, but he shrugged it off. He had never been under the illusion that he could impress with his cooking skills. In his experience pancakes tasted the same whether they were in one piece or thirty.

Setting a plate down in front of Bickslow, he offered a soft smile that Bickslow didn't look up to see. The man just picked the cutlery from the table and began gathering some of the scrambled dough onto his fork.

“Thirsty?”, Laxus asked and he shook his head.

After setting a glass of water down beside his boyfriend, Laxus took a seat opposite and dug in.

Bickslow didn't have half the appetite of the day before. He was chewing leisurely, his hands moving slowly as he brought more to his mouth, and his breathing was heavy. His stance was strained, shoulders drawn up like eating was the most demanding labour he had engaged in all week.

Laxus inspected him from across the table. Did the new school stress him out that much? It was bewildering to see Bickslow so distraught after the perfect weekend they had spent together.

Once the scrambled pancakes were gone, Bickslow downed the glass of water in one go and finally looked up.

“Thanks.”

Smiling, Laxus shook his head.

“Not a problem. Are you feeling a little better?”

Bickslow nodded. Hating the concerned look on Laxus's face, he averted his eyes.

One little lamp on the stove was still on, indicating that the left top burner hadn't cooled off yet. That wasn't the one Bickslow would have picked for the pan. It was a size too small.

“I didn't even know you could make pancakes”, he murmured.

“I looked it up online”, Laxus admitted.

“Gyha. You're a hopeless adult, you know that right?”

Bickslow found his smile again, and their eyes met anew. The awkward silence was gone, the strain forgotten.

“That's why I have you, isn't it?”, Laxus shrugged.

That got him another giggle.

“Do you think you're good to go to school?”, Laxus dared and the smile dropped from Bickslow's face.

Laxus braced himself for the worst. He had yet again said the wrong thing. He had expected as much, but it was nearly time to leave.

Bickslow took a deep breath, and then nodded.

“I think so.”

“I'll drive you.”

“You don't have to.”

“I don't mind.”

“It's not even in your direction.”

“I insist.”

Giving a practised smile, Bickslow nodded.

“Then I don't have a choice, now do I?”

“Exactly.”

Laxus stood and collected their plates.

“So go get dressed.”

  


  


  


The founders of Sabertooth had aimed to create an elitist school, making sure their establishment met the quality standards of the rich and powerful, but they never did manage to fill their classrooms. They missed one very important factor in their planning, the location.

Sure, the school building was within Crocus, the actual City of Crocus, not just the vast outskirts, but it was on the southern side of the capital. The people that could afford a house here, but not in the east, had enough money to send their kids further ways and not the time to take care of them at home. A boarding school was a much more convenient place to stash your kids while you were busy building a commercial empire.

There was a reason you could find the Heartfilia daughter at Fairy Tail rather than Sabertooth despite the family having a house in the capital. That mansion stood empty most of the year while Lucy was studying and her father was working in the north.

Past these huge empty villas with their loud guard dogs and high fences, the old canal licked along the remainder of the medieval city walls. One street further and you reached the grand gardens that the city was so famous for. The Southern Garden. The Rose Gardens. The Rhododendron Garden. And so on and so forth.

At the fence to the Lotus Gardens, marking the line between the City of Crocus and the less pompous Southern Crocus, stood Sabertooth in all its sleek, try-hard glory.

The drive was awfully quiet.

Bickslow was looking out the window, taking in all the new sights and smells. They were sure as hell not in Hargeon any more. Everything was so big and new and clean.

Something told him other parts of the city weren't going to be this tidy and modern. The stadium looking out over the city from the mountains to the east definitely didn't fit that description. Domus Flau had been erected many centuries ago. Bickslow determined he should visit sometime.

Pulling up to Sabertooth, Laxus stopped the car and offered, “Do you want me to come with you?”

Bickslow shook his head and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“No thanks. Besides, you'd be late to your own school.”

“Do you want me to come pick you up then?”

“Nah. I'll head over to the clinic after school, get myself a new shrink before I have the time to think about it.”

Laxus nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.”

He was only a little disappointed to be dismissed so easily.

Bickslow got out of the car, grabbed his bag, and flung the door shut. Marching around the front of the vehicle, he reached the walkway before stopping. Making a sharp turn, he waited for Laxus to roll the window down.

“Did you forget something?”

“Yea.”

Bickslow leaned in and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

“Have a good day at work.”

“And you at school.”

Bickslow stole one more kiss and then turned back to the large yellow house. It didn't go past him that a few people were looking now, some even impolite enough to point, but he ignored it best he could and walked inside.

It felt peculiar to be in a school that didn't have it's own dorms after two years. There was no uniform, no fence, no gate, no guards. The students just sauntered in from the street, dragging heavy backpacks along.

Reaching the reception desk, Bickslow checked himself in and got his own big but neat pile of books. No pre-used or borrowed ones, he noted. All spines were unbent and the covers clean. The school sure did what they could to satisfy the rich kids attending. They even gave him a calendar. Not a printed out page with his schedule. An actual bound calendar for the year. And a pen. Spoiled fucking brats. How was it that the rich were the ones getting shit for free? Honestly.

Bickslow scooped the books into his backpack and went to find his classroom.

At this point it didn't surprise him any more what a well quipped room he found. The classroom was designed in a classic auditorium half-circle, and the seats actually looked comfortable. The projector was mounted overhead instead of on a stand that broke the rows, and they even had a whiteboard instead of a blackboard. Bickslow repressed the urge to go to the front and doodle on it.

His new classmates all fit the picture. Fine clothes, new bags, perfectly done hair, expensive earrings and watches. He felt pretty out of place in his sneakers and cargoes. Glad he had at least opted for a t-shirt rather than a tank top, he looked around for a seat.

While most students only gave him a short glance, it seemed he had caught the attention of one trio. Maybe he stuck out enough to be of interest. The three friends looked different at least. Not out of place like him, but different.

The man that appeared to be the leader of the clique had a less orthodox style than the rest. He stood in baggy designer slacks and a skin tight top. The little scar crossing his eyebrow and the earring dangling on the opposite side said trouble. The question was whether it was the good kind of trouble or the bad kind.

Turning to the man and woman with him, he grinned, “Hey, look, it's the gay guy from out front.”

Bickslow tensed. What a great start. His first identifier was 'the gay guy'. Not that he had any intentions of climbing back into the closet, but having his sexuality pointed out like some kind of novelty still made him nervous.

Please, just fucking please, make these people not be homophobes. He had just arrived. Couldn't life cut him some slack?

The blond man came up to him and smiled, “Hey there Buddy, what's your name?”

“I'm Bickslow.”

Apprehensive, Bickslow waited for his new classmate to hold his hand out first before reaching out as well and shaking it in greeting.

“Nice to meet you. I'm Sting.”

Pointing a thumb in the general direction of his comrade, he added, “And this is my twin brother, Rogue.”

The man in question was his perfect opposite. His hair was long and black, his clothes a perfectly tailored fit, and the only ornament on him was a plain belt.

Noticing Bickslow's inspecting eyes, the third member of the group chirped in, “So identical, aren't they?”

Both men gave her a tired look. Clearly, the joke was old and stale, which only made all the more more amusing to Bickslow.

“Extremely”, he agreed.

He liked her at once. Short light blue hair and a smile as soft as angels, she emitted a calm atmosphere. Offering him her hand as well, she introduced herself as Yukino.

When the teacher entered, they interrupted the introductions and took a seat together with their new arrival.

During lunch, Bickslow let himself be dragged along into the cafeteria downstairs. He sat down where instructed and waited for an apparently traditional welcome cupcake.

He looked around in awe. Even the cafeteria was fancy. There were no back-breaking plastic stackable chairs, no grey patina on the tables to hide the dirt. They had fucking wooden trays and ceramic plates with flower décor.

His classmates set a dark brown cupcake down in front of him and gathered around, watching him expectantly. There were curious eyes glancing at him from other tables as well.

Fearing a prank, Bickslow eyed the treat for a moment. If it merely tasted bad, he could live with that, but he had no idea how mean the hazing could get at Sabertooth. He had seen people puke from similar “jokes” at other schools.

“It's not poisoned. Promise”, Yukino ensured.

Electing to trust the woman, he picked the cake up. Sting giggled and he hesitated for a moment, but in the end he took heart and tried it.

An intense chocolate flavour coated his tongue. The dough was fluffy and rich, soft and moist. It was sweet, but not too much so. It was absolutely perfect.

“Oh wow”, he murmured before taking another, larger bite.

“Right?!”, Sting grinned. “The best cupcakes in the city, I swear. Not even the Cupcake Factory by Mercurius castle has any that are this good.”

“Welcome to Sabertooth”, Yukino cheered happily and Bickslow couldn't help but laugh.

“I thought you'd serve me salt or fish oil or something.”

“Aw, no way. That would be mean”, she waved it off and he shrugged.

“That's how hazing usually goes, isn't it?”

“Oh don't you worry, we'll get around to that”, Sting teased and Yukino shot him a glare.

“Just kidding! Just kidding.”

“Lets eat something proper now. I'm hungry”, Rogue demanded, dragging his brother back to the counter.

Bickslow let out another giggle. These people were exactly the right kind of crazy for his taste. It reminded him a lot of his first meeting with Gajeel.

The man came up to him, gruffly stating that he knew Bickslow was repeating a year, before declaring that, since he already knew the material either way, he should explain it. That was Gajeel's version of politely asking for help. Bickslow did get a couple of beers in payment, so he didn't complain.

Smiling to himself at the memory, he looked out the window.

Beyond the yard, people were hurrying along and cars formed a steady stream in both directions. Crocus was sure big, and loud. It was nothing like the tranquil city of Hargeon, not to mention the dead quiet of Fairy Tail.

Surely Levy was busy making their new teacher uncomfortable right now, with her constant questions and corrections. The guy had been somewhat green behind the ears, young for a teacher, and not as intimidating as Laxus.

Bickslow's sighed. Fuck he missed those guys already. It had only been a few days, but an empty feeling was occupying the space his friends usually had at his side.

“Are you aright?”, Yukino wondered and he snapped his focus back to her.

“Yea. I'm fine. Thanks.”

Reaching for his backpack, he dug for his lunch box.

While his own meal consisted of a few simple sandwiches he threw together before leaving, Yukino had a nice looking cooked meal, rice and vegetables, a sticky brown sauce on the side.

“Did you cook that yourself?”, he wondered and she frowned back at him.

“No. Why?”

Bickslow gave a shrug. He felt a little silly for asking. Of course, most of these young adults were still living at home. He was likely the only one here that lived with his older boyfriend rather than a normal family and parents.

“Just asking.”

“My mother made it for me.”

“Oh, I see.”

Eyeing Bickslow and then his spartan lunch, Yukino offered, “Do you wanna try it?”

“It's fine. Thanks. I was just wondering.”

“Come on. It's really good”, she urged and he gave in.

Taking a bite, he had to admit she was right. It was really good, better than most of his own cooking. He had a lot left to learn.

“Do you think you could get me the recipe?”, he asked and she smiled brightly.

“Of course! Mom will be happy to write it down!”

Sting and Rogue returned with the cafeteria's daily special and settled at the table.

“I'm not gay, though”, Bickslow pointed out.

The three gave him a blank look.

“You said 'the gay guy' before. I'm not.”

“Oh no? It wasn't your boyfriend you kissed before then?”, Sting questioned.

“Yea it was, but I'm bi.”

“Ah, got it. Sorry”, the man nodded. “So the queer guy then”, he added teasingly and Bickslow huffed a laugh.

“Whatever.”

  


  


  


After dropping Bickslow off, Laxus turned the car around and drove to work.

Closer to the city centre, the road to admission wasn't filling in an application. You had to have above average grades to even be considered, and preferably a lot of other merits to top it off, like volunteering experience or club memberships. It was hard to get in to a central school. Unless your parents showed some charity that is.

Parking his car, Laxus rounded the main building as every morning. Checking his phone, he saw that he was still in good time, as anticipated. No need to hurry.

CISoS wasn't the hardest central school go get into, but it wasn't the easiest either. The appeal of the school was similar to that of Fairy tail. The certificate of graduation was viable in various countries all around the world rather than just in the national school system. That made applying for higher education in foreign countries a lot easier.

That's why it was called the Crocus International School. The entire 'of Science' part seemed to be nothing more than fancy wording. Laxus hadn't noticed any special focus on those subjects.

The obvious difference to Fairy Tail was the local school format. Just as Sabertooth, CISoS had no dorms, no sports hall, no walls, no park. It was just a school in the middle of the city.

Pouring himself a cup of coffee in the teacher's lounge, Laxus stalked over to his desk and slumped into his chair with a sigh.

What a morning. He was glad it had worked out aright in the end. He just hoped Bickslow was having a good start in his new class, that it would be a smooth transition and he had a helpful introduction to the subjects, that the teacher would be good, and that he would find friends on his first day.

Hell, he worried. He really did.

The in contrast chirp man sitting opposite him greeted with a soft smile, “Good morning!”

“Mm”, Laxus returned gruffly before glancing over the low barrier separating their desks.

He didn't mind Freed. He had a very pleasant character, calm and organised. And, he had style. His long green hair was always neatly combed, and his fine shirt was always matched with dress trousers despite there being no uniform requirement.

“How was your weekend?”, Freed asked politely and Laxus couldn't repress his smile.

“It was good.”

He let is thumb run over the edge of his cup.

“I finally met my boyfriend again.”

At that, not only Freed looked up. Wide eyed, Evergreen turned around in her chair to face him.

“You have a boyfriend?! I had no idea! Why didn't you say something?!”, she demanded.

“Why would I?”, Laxus grumbled. “Nosy.”

He didn't mind her, either. She was far louder that Freed, but she was great at her job. She had mastered the art of playfully engaging even adults in learning. And if someone didn't behave, she had a glare that could not only silence, but probably kill if she so wished. Even her mountain of a husband seemed scared of her.

“He doesn't live nearby I presume?”, Freed asked.

“He does now. We moved in together.”

Now Evergreen was out of her chair.

“Oh! You should have said so! We could have held a welcome party!”

“All the more reason not to tell you”, Laxus muttered and she shot him a stony glare over the edge of her spectacles.

“I will have you know that I organise amazing parties”, she declared, arms crossed over her chest.

Freed chuckled at the increasingly irritated exchange before collecting his notes and heading out to his first class.

  



	3. Mercurius Acrobatics

“I don't know. It just feels like everything's gotten so complicated since I moved in with Laxus, and I don't get it. I'm happy, but not at the same time. I love it, but I have troubles sleeping, and sometimes I just break down out of nowhere. I can't deal with the most normal fucking stuff any more, like going to school, getting up in the morning even. And it hurts so much, literally physically hurts. It's like I'm not made for a normal life. I don't know. I just…”

Bickslow sighed. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up at his psychologists.

Mrs. Keaton was different than the last. She was more relaxed somehow. He couldn't really put a finger on it. Perhaps it was the interior of her office that tricked him, the comfy couches that he could slouch in rather than sitting on rigid chairs. He didn't feel as interrogated. They were just talking now.

The brown haired woman nodded as she took notes on a little writing pad resting in her lap.

“Its completely normal to experience grief when going through such a big change in your life. Even if you don't miss what you left behind, it's startling. You said you had never been to Crocus before, right?”

“Not even close. And I do miss my friends. But… it's not just that it's new or whatever. It's like… You have no idea how much I wanted this, how much I wanted to leave Hargeon and come here and live with Laxus.”

He stopped himself.

While it felt good to talk about these things, he couldn't say too much. No one could find out about how him and Laxus ended up together.

As his psychiatrists, Mrs. Keaton vouched her silence when it came to his personal issues and matters, but not when it came to certain types of crimes. He had checked. If he told her about having a relationship with his teacher, she was legally obliged to report it, because it was considered abuse and sexual exploitation of a minor at best and if they decided to make an example of Laxus… He didn't even want to think about what other charges they might pile on top.

It was imperative he upkeep their lie.

“When I got to move to Crocus and I met him here, I just knew he was the one and I was so fucking happy”, Bickslow rephrased. “And now that we're living together, that it is real… I should be happy, shouldn't I?”

“There is no 'should' in feelings”, Mrs. Keaton pointed out and he huffed.

Yea yea, he had head that one before. Except there was. There was always a 'should'.

You should feel motivated in school. You should feel thankful when someone offered you help. You should feel humbled and flattered when someone gave you a compliment. You should be happy when your life was going uphill.

“I just mean… for once in my life, I have everything I need and want. The last months have been the best in my entire life. We have been on amazing dates every weekend. I have great new friends. School isn't really hard. Everything just works out. So why am I still feeling like this? Why am I feeling worse than before? Why can't I relax?!”

“Is this perhaps the first time you have allowed yourself to truly feel?”, Mrs. Keaton asked and he frowned back at her.

What the hell was she talking about? Being emotionless was definitively not his issue. That was more descriptive of Laxus if anything.

Mrs Keaton put her pen down and folded her hands together.

“Did you know a lot of people get the flu on the first day of their summer vacation? It's because they are stressed up to that point and force their bodies to function despite the illness. This isn't all that different. A lot of people break down once they get away from a bad situation. When you've had to stay strong for too long, finally being able to calm down can be the moment it all comes to light. It is often the first step to recovery.”

“That's fucked up”, Bickslow grumbled. “And it sucks.”

She chuckled and gave a little shrug. “Maybe. But it is definitively not weird.”

After giving him a minute of silence to process, Mrs. Keaton asked, “Are you still working out?”

Bickslow nodded and she smiled approvingly.

“And have you made any friends at the gym so far?”

“Yea, kinda.”, Bickslow nodded again.

Acquaintances rather than friends, or comrades if he was to be generous, but they were nice. Too nice.

He joined Mercurius Acrobatics in the middle of the year when there was no beginner course running, and no recruitment plan. Still, they let him in. The coach had warned him that no one would have the time help him the moments he had missed, but the other acrobats always ended up helping him either way.

They were really nice. It was so annoying.

No one scolded him for making mistakes. No one blamed him for being too weak or being too stiff for certain tricks. All were they constantly encouraging him to keep pushing. He couldn't think of a single dismissive comment any one of them had ever uttered toward him, despite his ungraceful landings and the countless mistakes on simple moves.

No one cared.

“They are all… very supportive.”

“You seem surprised,” Mrs. Keaton commented.

Sighing, Bickslow crossed his arms over his chest. There was another 'should'. He shouldn't be surprised, now should he? He should expect people to be good and nice and supportive. He should trust and not fear the situation.

“I am. I'm not really used to things going this smoothly. Makes me fear the dark. You know what I mean? It's like when you walk down a dark hallway and you could swear there is something lurking in the corner. You turn on the light, and there's nothing there, but that only makes you more sure that there was something there and that it will be back.”

“Sure. That feeling will mostly pass away over time. When you truly stop watching your back, that will get better too”, Mrs. Keaton ensured.

“I feel like if I stop watching my back, someone will shank me.”

“It can be scary, but I'm sure you will get there eventually.”

“I sure hope so.”

  


Sipping a tea between his therapy session and his training, Bickslow couldn't say he looked forward to it. It wasn't like when he first started acrobatics all those years ago.

The gym in Aster had been his safe haven. It had been the one place where he wasn't the problematic rebel, the fuck up, the gay guy. He was just Bickslow. Talented, strong, flexible Bickslow.

He was allowed to be fabulous, to be confident, and to take place. He was allowed feel safe and not think about the rest of the world, to lift that weight off his shoulders for one hour, three times a week, and just fly.

Now he was the odd one that started in the middle of the year, the come back that didn't live up to any expectations. He wasn't even worth berating, worth pushing to become better.

He probably shouldn't think that way. They were probably just trying to be nice and positive and all that other new age pedagogic bullshit. Fuck, he hated the encouragements by now. They meant absolutely squat.

The clock cued his departure and he got up with a sight.

Taking the way past the castle, he enjoyed light spectacle playing over the ground in the city square. The numerous gold plated decorations on the façade of Mercurius caught the afternoon light and threw it down in mesmerising patterns. This late, it had already passed the fountain, instead beginning to creep up the walls of the cafés and restaurants, but during noon the lights shimmered in the running water like a thousand stars.

Leaving that beautiful sight behind, Bickslow headed into the acrobatics gym and made a beeline for the changing rooms.

Sitting on the bench in his workout clothes for far longer than necessary, he finally forced himself to get up and face the music.

  


  


  


Laxus put his paperwork aside early. He couldn't focus on it right now. He wanted to see Bickslow's training instead. It wasn't like he had to hand the tests back before next week. Grabbing his bag and saying goodbye, he left early.

Mercurius Acrobatics stood in the very centre of the city, close to CISoS and far from their home, so Laxus generally came by to pick his boyfriend up in the evenings. Despite having done so for the past two months, he had only caught a few glimpses of Bickslow in action, though.

It was magical, seeing him fly through the air with perfect control. It was nothing Laxus could even imagine himself doing, and Bickslow made it look so easy.

Reaching the gym, he parked his car and sneaked inside as discretely as he could. That meant at least not letting the doors slam shut on their own and cringing at the echo of his steps in the hallway.

In the gym hall itself, training was in progress. Several sets of bars were set up around the room, even and uneven. The acrobats were working in pairs, one doing the exercise and one spotting.

Laxus took a seat on the sidelines with some of the parents waiting for practice to finish and looked around for his boyfriend. It took a moment, because he wasn't among the guys on the even bars. He was standing in the back with the girls, waiting for a turn on the uneven.

The person he was paired with was hard to place. Laxus would have thought them a girl hadn't it been for the blue boys uniform. But they were practising uneven bars. Then again, so was Bickslow. Not that it mattered.

Once Bickslow rubbed white powder over his hands, Laxus leaned forward in his seat. He watched as Bickslow stepped up to the equipment and straightened his back. He was dashing in the skin tight clothes, focused on the task ahead of him.

Shortly brining his hands up in a stiff pose, he turned to the lower bar and took a hold, swinging up and around it. Laxus watched in awe how he let go, flying to the higher bar and catching himself again as though it were second nature.

Seeing the other acrobat walk onto the mat, eyes fixed on Bickslow and ready to catch him if needed, Laxus too tensed.

Bickslow let go again, turning in mid air, and gravity pulled him back down, but he managed to find grip on the bar and his comrade stepped away. Finally making his dismount, Bickslow landed on his feet and raised his arms before cursing aloud.

“Fuck.”

“Are you kidding? That was great!”, his exercise buddy encouraged.

“No it wasn't. You know as well as me that it wasn't. My legs were all over the place. I had no control. It sucked”, Bickslow waved it off.

Colin always said that. They always said he did well. It was bullshit and honestly, he was fucking tired of it.

“You've only been here for a few weeks. How long have you been gone form the floor before that?”, they asked and Bickslow shrugged.

“A few years.”

“Then it's no surprise you're a little shaky, now is it?”

Sighing, Bickslow licked his lips. Sure it wasn't, but that didn't mean he was happy with the result. He was so frustrated it physically hurt. His entire body just felt out of place, felt foreign when he couldn't control it the way he was used to.

“Sure, but I did it right before. It's like I'm getting worse for every try.”

“Nonsense. You're just getting tired. You'll get better for every week, you'll see.”

Bickslow just gave a little hum. Logically, he knew that ought to make sense, but it just didn't right now. This was not how he saw himself. He didn't see himself being this mediocre, not at something physical.

Looking up, Bickslow saw a familiar pair of orange eyes in the audience. Surprised, he headed over to the benches.

“Laxus? Why are you here already?”

A shrug raised Laxus's shoulders.

“I didn't have anything better to do. Also, I wanted to see your training. It's fascinating.”

Repressing another sigh, Bickslow instead forced a smile. 'Fascinating'. Talk about a reach. It was fucking shameful. Then again, Laxus had no idea, did he? He didn't know what made for a good routine. Simply put, he couldn't tell the fucking difference between an amateur and a pro acrobat.

“Is that your dad?”, Colin wondered and Laxus's eyes went wide.

Bickslow burst into laughter.

“Gyhaha! No. He's my boyfriend.”

Turning bright red, Colin brought their hands to their mouth.

“Oh! I am so sorry! I didn't mean anything by it!”

“It's fine”, Laxus grumbled, but Bickslow couldn't bring himself to stop giggling.

“Pfft… you look old enough to be my dad.”

“Oh shut up. It's the clothes.”

Bickslow agreed. Laxus did look a fair bit older in the fine white shirt and plain trousers than he did in his colourful casual wear. The week's stubble on his chin helped as well. He wasn't about to let logic get in the way of his mocking, though.

“Suure, the clothes, nothing else.”

Laxus frowned irritably and he found new air to laugh.

Still giggling, he got back to practice, now spotting for Colin in turn.

Bickslow didn't really try for the remainder of the time. He had made up his mind. This sucked, and he hated it. He was done. Going through the motions, he finished up, stretched, and hit the showers. Making sure not to leave anything behind, he walked out of the changing room and waited for a few minutes. When Colin walked out into the hallway, as always tying their long blond hair up in a messy ponytail on the run, he caught their attention.

“I might not come back, so give me your number?”

“Oh okay”, Colin nodded.

Entering their number into Bickslow's phone, Colin wondered, “Are you moving?”

Bickslow shook his head.

Handing Bickslow's phone back and nodding, Colin offered, “Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find us.”

“Thanks”, Bickslow smiled. “Really.”

Giving them a hug, he picked his bag up and left. Laxus walked out with him and he threw his bag into the back of the car before slumping down in the side passenger seat and reaching for the seatbelt.

He was being far too quiet. Laxus could sense that something was off.

“Did you have fun?”, he inquired.

“No”, Bickslow answered dryly.

The seatbelt gave a reassuring click and he sighed before looking over at his boyfriend.

“I don't wanna do acrobatics any more.”

Laxus eyed him from head to toe, as though looking for a hint in his features, an answer. A heavy silence spread between them as Bickslow waited for the inevitable 'why?'.

“Okay. What then?”

Bickslow looked up. No why? Laxus really was amazing.

“I don't know yet, but not this.” He sighed. “It's just not the same any more.”

For a lack of anything better to do, Laxus turned his attention to his own seatbelt. He double checked the rear-view mirror, put the keys in the ignition, and paused.

Turning back to Bickslow, he tried to sort his thoughts. He seemed so happy when he was allowed to start training here. He glowed with pride a few weeks ago, when he showed the coaches his prior experience and was taken in without further question. And now he wanted to quit.

“I saw that you were a little frustrated, but don't you think you might just need a little more time to get back into it?”

“No. I don't.”

He had been here for two months, give or take. That was more than enough. This wasn't leading anywhere.

It wasn't even that he didn't feel himself getting better, or that he wasn't able to do the tricks he used to know, or even that he didn't feel as graceful any more. It wasn't about that.

He just felt wrong, out of place, uncomfortable in the clothes, in his own skin even. He had to get out of there. He couldn't take it another fucking time.

If one more person said 'good job' for a messed up routine, he would snap.

Putting a hand on his knee, Laxus requested, “Bickslow, talk to me.”

He wanted to, but he didn't have the words to express what he felt. It was a painful frustration, threatening to turn his stomach. It was shame strong enough to heat his entire body, and a discomfort so thick and slimy he could feel it clinging to his skin all over.

There was also certainty, though. He was certain that he would feel better if he cut this out of his life.

The best depiction of his emotional state he could come up with was a need to peel his own skin off, leave it behind, or vomiting to ease the pressure on his throat, but saying that out loud wouldn't exactly calm Laxus down.

“Do I have to?”, he asked instead.

There was a moment's silence.

“No.”

  



	4. Stop Thinking

Arriving at home after a lengthy car ride, Bickslow felt the stone in his stomach still growing. Laxus hadn't said a word since they left the parking lot. Bickslow was convinced he had broken something. It was that kind of silence. The silence that came after he was kicked out. The silence that came after he was given up on.

He dropped his bag in the hallway, letting it thud down beside their shoes.

Laxus didn't turn his head or glance back. He didn't even acknowledge Bickslow had caused a sound.

Bickslow wrung his hands together.

“Laxus?”

Finally Laxus turned around. A frown deepened on his forehead as he inspected Bickslow from head to toe.

Afraid the piercing eyes might wrest his vulnerability into the open, Bickslow glued his gaze to the wooden floor.

Laxus came closer and Bickslow's shoulders drew themselves up. Afraid Laxus might notice his tension, he almost held his breath.

Laxus stopped.

Instead of placing a gentle hand on his boyfriend's head or shoulder, he stayed out of the distressed young man's personal space.

“What's wrong?”, he asked instead.

“Are you mad at me for quitting?”

Laxus shook his head. “No. No, not at all. I just want you to be happy. I care that you exercise, like your psychiatrist said you should. But how you do it is completely up to you. Why would I care about that?”

Bickslow shrugged. “You did pay for the gym membership and for the clothes.”

“Don't worry about that. It's not that expensive.”

Laxus dared place his hand on Bickslow now, stroking over his taunt shoulder. They lowered a little under his fingers, but stayed rigid.

“I would never have been able to afford it”, Bickslow whispered and Laxus's hand stilled.

Of course. Bickslow felt guilty.

He had never experienced this kind of luxury before, had he? When he wanted something, anything at all, he needed approval from his caretaker or case worker. He could get funding for activities and hobbies as a child, but he had to jump through hoops to get it and was intimately aware how his fortune cost someone else theirs.

“You don't have to afford it yourself.”

“Still. Hadn't it been for you, I would be in communal living. I'm not really showing much gratitude, am I?”, Bickslow murmured.

Hugging Bickslow close, Laxus sighed deeply and felt the immediate reaction. Bickslow jerked in his embrace. His instincts told him to expect aggression in this situation, and a sigh signalled annoyance rather than worry.

Easing his hold a bit, Laxus shook his head once more. “You don't have to show any gratitude for that. Don't ever think you owe me anything. You don't.”

It wouldn't surprise him if Bickslow had been lectured for giving up on an activity in the past, especially since every minute detail took resources and effort from a system that was already spread too thin.

Laxus had visited Bickslow's case worker at one point. It was a sobering experience in the worst sense of the word. He couldn't only imagine the kind of subtle hints Bickslow must have learned to pick up on during his childhood, surrounded by forced smiles and hollow shows of affection.

He knew he couldn't allow this talk become anything like that.

Carefully sorting his thoughts and digging for his most soft spoken tone, Laxus stroked a hand over Bickslow's cheek.

“Don't worry about spending too much. We can easily afford it. I have a stable job. We have an apartment. Even if we had to pay full rent, this still wouldn't be any greater loss. If something you want ever is too expensive, I will tell you. Trust me, it's fine.”

Finally, Bickslow's eyes left the floor. They carefully examined Laxus's face, searching for a trace of anger, of a lie.

“And you're not disappointed that I gave up?”

“No. You seem sure that this isn't what you want. I respect that. This is for you, not for me. If you don't want it, then you don't have to do it. It's as simple as that.”

Reaching out, Bickslow cupped Laxus's face and kissed him. Maybe it really could be as simple as that.

Laxus responded to the kiss as any other day. There was no hesitation. Nothing felt wrong. Nothing felt different or broken. Bickslow parted his lips and felt the familiar tongue dart out in response to meet his own. Taking a hold of the white shirt, he tucked himself tightly against his boyfriend.

Laxus slowly trailed his fingers through the black and blue hair. He nuzzled Bickslow's chin. It was far too careful for Bickslow's liking. The contact was heavenly as always, but today he needed more. He needed Laxus's desire, the confirmation.

“More”, he demanded, pressing his hips forward for emphasis.

Complying, Laxus slipped his tongue back into Bickslow's mouth, but Bickslow merely kept pushing forward, kept pulling at his clothes in an effort to bring them closer still even though they were standing chest to chest.

Finally breaking the kiss, Bickslow grabbed a hold of the blond hair.

“Fuck me. Have me. Anything. Just do it properly.”

Laxus besmiled the desperation in his words. “Properly? What would that entail?”

“Don't be so soft. Show me you want me, just how much you do. Ravish me. Just allow me to stop thinking”, Bickslow rambled and Laxus's smile grew into a smirk.

“Can do”, he whispered.

Taking a hold of Bickslow's hips, he lifted the younger man off his feet. The long legs wrapped around his body on instinct. Two steps forward and he had Bickslow pinned against the wall. Locking their lips again in a fierce kiss, he ground his hips forward. Bickslow gasped into his mouth. The long manicured fingers found hold in his hair again and he could feel Bickslow's legs straining to hold him close and lock him in place.

He was strong. His legs, his stomach, his arms. A picture of beauty. And then there was cheeky face flushed with red. How had Laxus found such a treasure?

Biting back any comment about how gorgeous Bickslow was when he flew through the air like today, Laxus indulged in that thought in the privacy of his own mind. Bickslow didn't want to think about it any further, especially not right now.

Hoping the firm grip Bickslow had on him would be enough to keep him in place, Laxus let go of the firm hips and trailed his hands up under the man's top instead. Mouthing at Bickslow's neck and thrusting his hips forward again, he gained another groan and Bickslow arched his back off the wall.

“Fuck, Laxus.”

Chuckling, Laxus bared his teeth. He scraped the soft skin and growled his desire against it with the next roll of his hips. How was that for ravishing? It was too bad he would have to move eventually to really fulfil the request.

Making sure he had a good hold on Bickslow once more, Laxus carried his boyfriend through the bedroom. In the bathroom, he eased Bickslow down to stand on his own two feet. Before Bickslow could ask, he went for the tank top again, tugging it over the man's head and flinging it out of the room.

Happily letting himself be manhandled out of his jeans, Bickslow reached for the buttons of Laxus's boring white shirt. When Laxus eased away, he met the orange eyes. He loved getting lost in that perfect storm.

“I'll wait”, Laxus said and he nodded.

He hated the pause, but he loved the promise. Laxus left the room and he turned to the cabinet, finding his enema.

Laxus knew Bickslow rather enjoyed undressing him, but force of habit had him hang his shirt aside. It was Friday, so the clothes would go into the was either way, but keeping his work clothes clean came naturally.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Laxus pulled it out and clicked his tongue. Work. Typical.

He contemplated ignoring it, but eventually he dragged the green icon across and sighed, “Dreyar.

“Hello Laxus”, the principal greeted cheerfully. “I'm sorry to call in the evening like this, but Jenny called in sick. She won't be able to chaperon tomorrow.”

Laxus repressed a groan. He shouldn't have answered. But then she would have called again, wouldn't she? He was certainly not about to take that bait, though. Tomorrow him and Bickslow were going on a date. He was not going to spend the day at work if he could avoid it.

“Okay?”, he asked dryly.

“Could you take over for her?”, Cecile requested, forcing a proper answer from him.

“No. I have plans already.”

“It won't be much work. You just have to let the students into the library and sit there for a few hours so they can finish their project. It's important for the school's reputation that our students have something to show at the fair on Sunday. I would do it myself, but as you know I'm out of town.”

Laxus only half listened. He was sidetracked by Bickslow emerging from the bathroom, completely naked and badly aroused. He slowly crossed the room and Laxus couldn't take his eyes of him.

“I can't”, he reminded himself to answer over the phone.

“Surely you can free up half a day?”, Cecile insisted.

Bickslow stopped right before him with a mischievous smirk on his lips. Bickslow didn't wait for him to finish his conversation. Getting a hold of the his belt, Bickslow unbuckled it and pulled the leather loose before going for the button of his trousers next.

“Really, I can't. I'm busy”, Laxus repeated.

Hearing a sigh from the other end, he feared the worst, and sure enough, she wasn't done yet.

“I've called around already”, she began.

Bickslow unzipped him and tugged his open trousers down his legs together with the underwear.

“No one wants to work on a Saturday, I get that.”

Smirking, Bickslow leaned back and let his eyes graze over Laxus's body, from his well trained legs, along his hard cock, and up his abs. Meeting the orange eyes, Bickslow smirked. Licking his lips, he let his gaze fall again.

“Everyone has other plans for their weekend. You however are new on the team and could do with some additional involvement in the school.”

Dropping to his knees, Bickslow ran a hand up his thighs and leaned in to place a kiss on his erection.

“Fuck”, Laxus whispered.

“That's a bit crude”, Cecile complained.

“Sorry.”

Biting together, Laxus repressed further vocalisation while Bickslow busied himself with running his tongue up along the length before placing feather light kisses to the glans and neck.

“Can't you find a substitute?”

Bickslow didn't make talking easy for him. That mischievous bastard took him in just as he opened his mouth to speak again.

“I have tried, Laxus”, the principal murmured. “As I said, no one wants to work on a Saturday, not even substitute teachers.”

Bickslow bobbed his head and Laxus firmed his grip on the phone until the edges dug into his fingers.

“Oh really?”, he grumbled.

With his jaw clenched in an effort to repress the moans climbing his throat, he sounded far angrier than he was, and Cecile did not take kindly to it.

“I am not loving the attitude here”, she pointed out, that annoying posh accent creeping into her voice.

“Sorry. It wasn't my intention”, Laxus breathed. “I'm just…” he had to pause, his jaw falling slack as Bickslow dipped his head, taking him deep. “…busy with something right now.”

“Really busy”, he emphasised.

“Then I am sorry to interrupt, but I had little choice in the matter. And, as it so happens, neither do you. I will need you to come in. If you can leave early on a Friday, you can come in on a Saturday”, Cecile determined.

Laxus tried to focus. Was there no way for him to talk his way out of this?

Huffing, he watched Bickslow pull back and swirl his tongue around the head instead. One of his hands slipped up the last centimetres to cradle Laxus's balls.

“Fine. Eight, right?”, Laxus gritted out.

Bickslow took him back in and he quickly held the phone away as a moan forced its way past his lips. Brining the device back to his ear, he hurried to end the conversation.

“Yes, eight. Good to hear the matter is resolved. One other thing…”, Cecile began and Laxus closed his eyes in frustration.

“Mm?”

“About the exams next week…”

“Can we talk about this some other time?”, Laxus interrupted. “I really am, very, very busy at the moment.”

Taken aback, Cecile agreed, “Aright then. Rain check.”

“Yea. Thanks. Bye”, Laxus forced out.

“Have a nice continued evening.”

Laxus couldn't bring himself to return the pleasantries. Hanging up without another word, he tossed his phone aside and took a hold of Bickslow's hair.

“Fucking hell. That was my boss you know.”

“Oh? You could have stopped me.”

“No, I couldn't.”

Amusement sparkling in his eyes, Bickslow began to bob his head with intent and Laxus lost any hint of irritation he might have harboured. The pleasure running up his spine overshadowed it all.

Soon swaying a little and having nothing of use to lean against, Laxus sat down on the bed instead. He was momentarily disappointed that Bickslow got up, but when the man grabbed the lube off the bedside table and climbed atop him, any dissatisfaction was forgotten.

Scooting further onto the bed and kicking the clothes hanging from his legs off entirely, Laxus watched his boyfriend crawl after and straddle his thighs.

Bickslow didn't hesitate to uncap the bottle, but then there was a pause.

Eyeing Laxus lying underneath him, cheeks flushed in excitement and cock glistening with saliva and pre-cum, he grinned. Steadying the erection, he held the tip of the bottle just above it and squeezed. The cold and wet sensation caused Laxus to jerk and hiss. Stroking the chilly lube down and spreading it, Bickslow chuckled to himself.

“Bastard”, Laxus grumbled and he met the orange eyes with an innocent simper.

“Me?”, he wondered sweetly, rolling his thumb over the sensitive glans.

“You”, Laxus growled, grabbing a hold of his hips and tugging him up.

Sniggering, Bickslow helped along as Laxus reached down to alight their bodies. Steadying himself against the firm abs, Bickslow eased down, moaning at the stretching and filling sensation.

Laxus kept his eyes glued to the sight, his cock slowly disappearing inside his mischievous, devilish, perfect boyfriend until Bickslow sat atop him.

“Oh… shit. I love you”, Laxus breathed.

Bickslow raised his hips and he whined. Getting a hold of Bickslow's thighs, he held the man down. Chest heaving and lowering rapidly, he yet again found himself completely overwhelmed by the need and the bold hunger that Bickslow offered him.

A few deep breaths later, he met the dark red eyes and saw just how pleased Bickslow was with himself. That infuriating waggish grin was on his lips once more. Laxus could almost swear he heard a low purr.

Pulling Bickslow down into a hungry kiss, Laxus set his feet against the bed and dug his fingers into one firm thigh. Thrusting up hard, he indulged in the close up of Bickslow's eyes widening. His lips parted and a hot breath left him, followed by by a sharp inhale, and a guttural moan.

Bickslow let himself fall against Laxus's chest entirely. Gripping a fistfuls of blanket on either side of them, he let Laxus rule the happening.

Before long, Laxus found their position to be somewhat disadvantageous and forced one of Bickslow's hands free from the cloth. Instead entwining their fingers, he turned them around.

With deep moans ringing in his ear, and the entirety of Laxus's body against his own, Bickslow felt at ease. Wave after wave of ecstasy rolled over him, and he let go of the blanket entirely, allowing himself to be washed away.

Sweaty and panting, Bickslow got goosebumps from the chilly air when Laxus pushed himself up on his arms. Quickly reaching out, he tugged the man back down.

He didn't care if their skin stuck together, if drops of sweat fell onto him from Laxus's forehead. He didn't care that it was harder to breathe with the full weight of the other atop himself, that he was starting to feel dizzy. He just wanted Laxus close, as close as humanly possible and then some.

Feeling the hot lips against his cheek, he sighed in content.

“Laxus.”

“What?”, Laxus asked, but the only answer he got was Bickslow's legs wrapping around him and a repeated whisper of his name.

Nearing his peak, Laxus finally forced himself off a tiny bit, just enough to give him the leverage to fuck Bickslow a little harder in his hunt for an orgasm. Bickslow's hazy eyes finally found their focus again, meeting his in a fascinated stare, like he had never seen this spectacle of pleasure before.

Laxus would have been embarrassed to the bone had it been anyone else watching him so closely in a moment like this, but with Bickslow he just felt adored. Closing his eyes, he snapped his hips forward once more and groaned his release. Trembling though it, he held onto Bickslow for dear life.

“Oh, by Mavis.”

Bickslow smiled at the curse. He himself had uttered it that day he admitted his feelings to Laxus. Thinking back on it, the timing had been miserable, but he was still glad he said it, because now they were together and his heart felt full.

Slumping down atop his boyfriend, Laxus gasped for air. It became apparent to him now just how hot Bickslow's body was, how sweaty they both were, even the blanket under them damp. It became obvious just how loud they were, the neighbours surely able to hear, and he didn't give a damn.

Gathering his strength, he escaped Bickslow's embrace. His retreat was met with complaints, but he had an objective. Scooting down between Bickslow's legs, he wrapped his lips around the throbbing erection and Bickslow forgot his protest. Once more wringing the cloth under his hands, he arched his back and moaned aloud. Unconsciously moving his hips, he soon followed Laxus over the edge, spilling into his mouth.

Laxus jerked a little when Bickslow came, having expected some kind of warning beforehand, but it seemed Bickslow was too far gone to issue any. Staying down until Bickslow had stopped shaking, he pulled away and spit the distasteful fluid out on the already messy blanket.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he looked up and saw Bickslow still quivering, his hands shaking at his sides. He blinked and a tear ran down his cheek.

Laxus leaned over him, stroking the tear away with a thumb.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”, he asked worriedly.

Bickslow shook his head. Smiling tiredly, he took a hold of Laxus's hair instead to keep him close.

“No.”

He urged Laxus down and kissed him softly, barely lingering.

“No. I'm just happy.”

  



	5. Dance

There was an uncomfortable air around Bickslow as he walked to school. The past couple of weeks had been hard on him. He was awfully agitated ever since dropping acrobatics.

The feeling was familiar. He had been just as frustrated when he moved to Hargeon. He lacked something in his life, but it wasn't something as simple as movement. Yesterday he even went so far as to go for a run with Colin. He loathed running. It was the single worst form of movement in existence. Colin actually enjoyed it. Weirdo.

But, this time, Bickslow didn't resort to alcohol and hookups. It would have been so much easier, but no. Here he was, resisting, going about his mundane partyless life. He figured he ought to be proud or some shit, but he was just tired of it all.

He couldn't give in, though. Laxus would be upset. As would his psychiatrist.

Okay, if he was completely honest, he too hoped that he could do better. Without the external pressure he wouldn't bother fighting this hard, though.

No alcohol. No smoking. No getting high. Movement alone wasn't good enough, either. That left sex on the list. Laxus was hardly in the mood, though.

That date Laxus had planned never happened. He had to go to work.

First he said they would go in the evening. Then he said they would go Sunday. Then it was the next weekend. Then the next, for sure this time. And so it continued. Laxus spent the weekends either at work or hunched over his desk at home. Bickslow was starting to hold a grudge against the headmaster of CISoS. He didn't care that is was normal for newcomers to work extra hours. He didn't care that Laxus was okay with it. Bickslow hated it. So what if he was being egotistic? It wasn't fair!

Bickslow shook his head as he reached Sabertooth. There was no use in getting worked up about it now.

At least he had one thing to look forward to. His friends were visiting in a fortnight. Lucy, Levy, and Gajeel had convinced Fairy Tail to let them travel to the capital together over the extended weekend as long as they checked in every day and confirmed they were still alive.

Bickslow talked to them almost every day, but texting and calling wasn't the same as meeting someone face to face. He couldn't wait to hug them again, to just sit in the same room and hang out.

It was going to be one big sleepover. Levy and Gajeel were both going to stay over in their flat. Lucy on the other hand stayed in the Heartfilia family house on the east side since her father found it inappropriate for the young lady to lay her head with some random boys.

Bickslow plastered a practised smile onto his face as he reached his classroom.

In the second row of chairs a little gathering huddled together with Yukino in the centre, all staring at her phone. Curious, Bickslow joined in.

On the sideway turned screen, a young woman was dancing. It was a provocative and elegant performance. Bickslow knew from own experience that the jumps and turns she made were hard, and the transitions between them even more so, but she made it seem effortless. The way she landed on her toes made it look like her body had no weight. The dancer turned to the camera with a confident smile and Bickslow gaped at Yukino in astonishment.

“You dance?”

“Yea. It's fun.”

“You're good!”

“Thank you. Do you dance?”

“Yea. I mean, I haven't taken any lessons or anything, but it's fun”, Bickslow nodded. “And a good way to get laid”, he added, getting a giggle from the round.

“Sure is”, Sting agreed and Rogue rolled his eyes.

“Like you would know.”

“Ouch”, Sing giggled.

“You should come with me after school”, Yukino offered and Bickslow blinked at her in bewilderment.

“Just like that?”

“Yea. We're always looking for new dancers. The school is mostly for teenagers and young adults. There aren't that many on this side of Crocus.”

“I've noticed”, Bickslow chuckled.

  


  


When Bickslow returned home in the evening, he was disappointed Laxus hadn't complained about his unannounced absence. No text. No call. No 'where are you?'. He didn't even seem to have noticed. Laxus was clearly home. Bickslow could hear him in the living room.

And surely Laxus had noticed him arriving. The sound of the lock, the door, him dumping his bag down. It was hard to miss. Laxus could clearly not be bothered to come to the door and greet him, though.

“I'm home!”, Bickslow called.

No reaction.

Annoyed but hardly surprised, Bickslow head for the bathroom first. Peeling out of his sweaty clothes, he stepped into the sower. Not having expected a workout, he hadn't packed any change, but he could hardly refuse when the entire dance class made a unified effort to coherse him into joining.

Bickslow smiled as he turned the water on. It was fun. The teacher was strict, but in a good way. It was the right mixture of push and care. When she called you out it was clear she did it to help you improve and not to put you on the spot. And Yukino. Wow. She could dance like an angel. Bickslow was astounded.

Apparently one of the other girls went to their school as well. Lis.. what was it? Lisanna? She was mischievous and playful, just great. Bickslow felt at home. He was definitely going back tomorrow.

Drying off and combing his hair, Bickslow finally walked into the living room to confront Laxus. He was at his desk again, head low and reading something.

“I'm home”, Bickslow tried again.

“Hey”, Laxus responded, clearly not picking up on the irritation hanging in the air.

“How was you day?”

“Mm.”

“I went with Yukino to this dance class...”, Bickslow began and Laxus finally looked up.

“That's great. Look, I'm sorry, but I need to finish this.”

Of course he fucking did.

Bickslow knew he was being unfair. It wasn't Laxus's fault. It was that damn headmaster. He wanted to say as much, but feared that if he spoke a single word right now…

Biting back any comment, Bickslow just nodded. He turned on his heel and stomped into the kitchen. He was so fucking angry.

And hungry.

Let's focus on that. Yea. Cooking sounds reasonable. Making a simple dish for the two of them was a good way to relax.

Plating the food, Bickslow set the table and called his boyfriend to dinner. That didn't work out, though. Too hungry to wait, he finally gave up and set a plate down beside Laxus instead.

“Thanks”, Laxus mumbled before picking the fork up and eating with his eyes glued on the page in front of him. He didn't even pay attention to the food. Bickslow growled under his breath. It was a good thing he didn't put any greater effort into today's meal. That would have been the last straw.

After eating on his own, Bickslow flopped down on the couch and played with his phone until Laxus finally got up from that fucking desk and actually looked at him.

“I'm sorry. How was your day?”, Laxus asked and Bickslow patted the seat beside himself.

Cuddled against his boyfriend's warm side, he began anew. “It was great. As I was saying, I went with Yukino to her dance school. She is really good! You wouldn't believe it! It's so much fun, too. I'll go again tomorrow I think.”

“Oh, you found something new then? That's great”, Laxus murmured.

“Yea. We danced to this song, I don't know the name, but it's on the radio all the time, and…”

Bickslow talked about it for a while before noticing Laxus had closes his eyes. His breathing was already evening out. Repressing a growl, Bickslow took a hold of Laxus's shoulder and shook him awake.

“Sorry”, Laxus yawned. “You were saying?”

Bickslow forced himself to smile softly. It wasn't Laxus's fault. It really wasn't. He shouldn't be angry. He really shouldn't.

“At least go to bed. You won't rest properly sleeping out here.”

Despite protest, he shooed his exhausted boyfriend up and in the general direction of the bedroom. Once Laxus had disappeared, he let himself fall back on the couch.

This sucked!

It wasn't for much longer. He would only have to deal with it for another week or two. Once CISoS mid-semester exams were done, Laxus would go back to normal.

Laxus would have the energy to get up early and eat breakfast with him again. He would sometimes offer to drive Bickslow again. He would sometimes come and pick Bickslow up again. He would listen again.

Once this was over they would be back to normal. Laxus as going to pay attention again and Bickslow wouldn't feel like he was living alone any more.

He was trying to hold out, but it was hard!

While he felt sorry for Laxus who had to work so hard, he still couldn't manage to entirely chase off a growing sense of resentment.

He knew he shouldn't feel that way, so he stashed it away best he could, kept it secret. But it was there, and he couldn't do anything about it.

No matter how many times he reminded himself that it wasn't Laxus's fault, it still hurt.

It wasn't fair.

  



	6. Ignored

Feeling something warm shift against his cheek, Laxus sighed and turned away. His body felt heavy as lead and he was far from ready to wake up, not even to something so nice.

Despite the unwelcoming gesture, Bickslow came close again, nuzzling against his neck.

Unable to decide if he liked it or if he wanted to fall back asleep, Laxus hesitated. In the end sleep deprivation won and he shifted away from the cuddly man.

Glad to be left alone, he returned to the realm of dreams.

Once we was ready to wake up, Bickslow was no longer at his side. The sound of running water hinted that he hadn't been gone for long, though. Forcing himself upright and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with a loud yawn, Laxus headed for the bathroom as well.

Bickslow smiled from within the clear shower cubicle. It was a good sight to start the weekend with.

“Awake now?”

Grumbling an answer, Laxus joined him and hogged the water for a few minutes.

Bickslow just waited and watched, as always enjoying the sight of his partner standing naked and dripping wet before him.

As soon as Laxus was done washing, Bickslow made a new attempt to get close. Wrapping his arms around Laxus's mid, he leaned in and stole a tender kiss. He let his hands roam over the muscular upper body and teased that sensitive spot behind Laxus's ear with his lips.

Despite his best efforts, Bickslow didn't get half the reaction he was hoping for. Laxus just gave him a short hug in return and made for the door.

“Don't you want to stay here with me a little longer?”, Bickslow asked in a sultry voice, but Laxus merely shook his head and grabbed his towel. He remained utterly unseduced.

Sighing in content at feeling clean and fairly rested again, Laxus was ready to leave the room when he noticed a frown on Bickslow's forehead. His lips were pursed together in a slim line as he turned the water off.

“Are you okay?”, Laxus asked.

“Brilliant”, Bickslow snarled.

Work would have to wait.

“What's wrong?”

Bickslow huffed at the question, like he ought to know exactly what was going on.

It hadn't gone past Laxus that Bickslow was increasingly irritated the past days. Even something minor could easily become a grand issue in this kind of tension. Trying to figure out what his offence might be, he made the mistake of joking.

“What? Are you mad at me because I'm not in the mood?”

“You never are”, Bickslow retorted and his eyebrows raised.

“Seriously? That's why you're sulking? Because I don't want to have sex right now?”

Clicking his tongue, Bickslow pulled his own towel from the rack. “It's not just right now. We haven't fucked in like two weeks.”

“That's really not that long.”

“It's long to me”, Bickslow murmured into his towel.

“Clearly it is”, Laxus chuckled.

The second the words left his mouth, he knew he should have repressed his amusement, and the look on Bickslow's face cemented it. He had hurt the man's feelings, dismissing his experience of the situation.

The surprise faded from Bickslow's face quickly and his eyes slimmed in anger.

“You don't care at all, do you?!”

“Honestly? No, not really. It's not going to kill you that we don't have sex all the damn time”, Laxus answered truthfully.

He knew by now that Bickslow had one hell of a sex drive, and while he enjoyed that a lot, he had no intentions of matching the man's libido every day.

“It's not about that!”, Bickslow barked.

“What is it about then?”, Laxus wondered.

Bickslow broke eye contact. Swallowing hard, he hid behind his towel again, his voice muffled by the fabric.

“Don't you find me attractive any more?”

Frowning deeply, Laxus shook his head. He ran a hand through Bickslow's wet hair. “Where the hell is that coming from all of a sudden? Of course I do. I'm just tired. I have had to work a lot the past weeks.”

“Yea, I've noticed”, Bickslow mumbled.

Pulling the towel around himself, he sighed.

“You don't want to cuddle with me. You don't want to play guitar with me. You don't want to talk to me. You don't even appreciate the meals I cook for you.”

“I do”, Laxus stated firmly and the dark red eyes snapped back up to meet him.

“Oh yea?! You're not great at showing it then!”

Taking a measured breath, Laxus explained for the he-had-lost-count'th time, “As I've said, I am tired. It's not like I'm choosing that. I have work.”

“Great”, Bickslow hissed and Laxus lost his cool.

“Look, I am sorry this is not living up to your expectations, but this is real life. It simply is like this sometimes. What exactly do you expect me to do about it, huh?!”

Jerking back at the sudden anger, Bickslow turned his head away.

He knew that. He did. It's what he had been telling himself every day the past week, but that didn't help. He still felt alone.

He was so jealous.

Of what, he didn't know. There was no clear target, like when Laxus dated Mrs. Strauss. Despite that, or maybe because of that, it was much stronger than it had been back in Hargeon.

He felt like Laxus was slipping away, and it scared the life out of him.

Now he had pissed Laxus off. Everything was shattered and it was his fault. Swallowing hard, he made to flee the room, but Laxus caught a hold of him.

Grabbing his boyfriend by the arm, Laxus felt how Bickslow tensed even further, how he all but froze in fear.

Fuck, he had messed up this time.

He knew Bickslow wasn't the patient type, that he had a tendency to jump to conclusions, and that he would never lash out intentionally.

He also knew Bickslow was easily shook.

He was supposed to be the calm one, the one Bickslow could lean on, no matter what. Now he had become part of the problem. He was the one that hurt Bickslow.

Pulling his distraught boyfriend against his chest, he tangled one hand in the messy hair and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice.”

He didn't have to lean back to know Bickslow was crying. He could feel the tremble of Bickslow's body against his own.

“I am so sorry. I didn't mean it like that.”

Laxus could hear his own heartbeat.

So what if Bickslow had unrealistic expectations? Six years ago, Laxus himself had been far more naive than this. He had expected to go straight from graduating to teaching in a top-notch school, raising the grades of his classes wherever he went. There was nothing wrong with dreaming. He was the worst to snap and Bickslow like that because he imagined their life together as perfect.

Bickslow finally brought his hands up, taking a hold of him in turn, and he exhaled in relief. They could fix this. They could talk it out.

Pulling back just enough to meet Bickslow's eyes, Laxus scrambled for words.

“I didn't think for a moment. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Of course you know. You're not daft.” He forced a little chuckle. “Hell, you know a lot more than I ever will about 'real life' being hard. I, of all people, growing up as shielded as I did, have no right to lecture you.”

Stroking a tear off Bickslow's face, he sighed. “I guess I was just frustrated, same as you. We should have talked about this long before today.”

Bickslow didn't say anything.

He felt so childish. He had been trying to hide what he felt, because he knew it wasn't rational, but it had only gotten worse and worse until it reached this point and he lashed out at the single most important person in his life.

And now he couldn't even bring himself to say sorry. He felt so incredibly stupid.

“How about I make it up to you? I'm almost done with all this mid-semester exam stuff. I will finish the last corrections today, and then we do whatever you want. Okay?”, Laxus suggested.

Bickslow wanted to apologise as well, but he couldn't get the words past his lips, so he merely nodded.

“What do you wanna do?”, Laxus asked and he inhaled deeply.

“I want a date.”

“A date?”

He nodded. “Yea. You promised me one last week. And the week before.”

“I know. I had work. I was tired. I'm sorry”, Laxus sighed.

Feeling a sting of anger at the apology, Bickslow realised something. He met the orange eyes.

“Laxus? Can we make a rule? No more using the word 'promise' unless we really, really, really mean it.”

“I did mean it. I'm sorry everything got in the way. I…”, Laxus began, but Bickslow interrupted.

“I know. I know you meant it, but when you say that word over and over and it never happens, it starts to feel like a lie even if you didn't mean for it to be. So, if you can't make sure to keep a promise, then don't make one, please? I'm so sick of that kind of thing.”

Laxus nodded.

“At first, I did think I would be able to keep it, but granted, the second time around I should have chosen other words. I promise, I will do my best to not make light of that word in the future.”

Relieved Laxus understood what he meant, Bickslow relaxed a little.

“Thanks.”

Laxus pulled his boyfriend tight again. Nuzzling against Bickslow's neck, he savoured the smell of his wooden shampoo. Never again would he raise his voice with Bickslow. That wasn't a promise he could make, but he determined it for himself.

Kissing the soft skin, he wondered, “How about this? I promise to try my absolute best to make that date happen today. Is that vague enough?”

Bickslow smiled back at him. “It is.”

  


  


Bickslow glanced over the edge of his menu. The restaurant he was currently sitting it was almost a little too nice for his liking. What the point of more than one set of cutlery was, he had no clue, or why there had to be more than one glass. Wouldn't it have been easier to bring the glass that was needed rather than removing the ones that weren't? It made no sense.

Not to mention the other guests. Everyone was so stiff, sitting with straight backs, arms off the table. Everyone was making conversation in a perfectly calm tone of voice. It was so monotone. Were they playing robots?

At least it wasn't the kind of place where everyone was wearing costume or dress. And, most importantly, Laxus seemed to enjoy this strict atmosphere.

He was sitting in his wide collared lilac shirt, the one that hugged his arms so perfectly. That was a sight Bickslow decided he could focus on throughout the dinner, rather than paying their surroundings further attention.

Laxus had actually managed to finish his work in the early afternoon. He sorted the paperwork, closed his laptop, and declared they would leave in an hour.

Feeling guilty about their fight, Bickslow had told him that it was fine if he wanted to rest, that they could go another day, but Laxus insisted. He had promised to try and make it happen today. So here they were, eating dinner by Mercurius Square.

“I'm sorry I've been so stingy”, Bickslow finally managed to voice an apology of his own.

Laxus looked up from his card in surprise.

“It's okay. I wasn't exactly being a gentleman either”, he waved it off.

Seizing the opportunity, Bickslow smirked, “You never are. I like that about you.”

“Oh? So this isn't me being a gentleman then?”, Laxus teased and he shrugged.

“You didn't even pull my chair out for me.”

“You are impossible.”

“And you love that. Admit it”, Bickslow grinned, getting an amused huff out of his partner.

“Just a little.”

“Mmhm. Right. Just a little bit”, he mused, scooting his foot over to nudge Laxus's under the table.

“Brat.”

Seeing the smile drop off Bickslow's face again, Laxus tensed. “What's wrong?”

Bickslow really didn't want to cause another scene. Making a vague gesture, he tried to dismiss it by forcing a smile back on his lips, but Laxus insisted.

“What did I say?”

“It's silly”, Bickslow said, shaking his head.

“Tell me.”

Bickslow paused. Laxus always said that he didn't have to talk about whatever bothered him, but now he didn't ask, he demanded. Right now Laxus too had a reason to be insecure. Bickslow took a deep breath and nodded. This time, he wouldn't hide what he felt and let it grow into a huge issue. He had to learn to say these things out loud sooner or later.

“I just wonder if you really see me like that? Like a brat? I mean, I know I'm younger than you but...”

“No”, Laxus cut in. “Fuck no. I don't mean it like that. Seriously, Bickslow, you a you're a young adult, not a child. And I would never…” He shuddered a little. “I don't see you as a kid. That would be kinda icky to be honest. No, absolutely not.”

“Okay”, Bickslow nodded.

He had dared ask, and his heart felt lighter for it. He knew he should talk to Laxus more, and every time he did, it was a relief. Every time, it was confirmed again. He really was going to be okay. Smiling to himself, he shifted his foot against Laxus's a little firmer.

“I'm sorry”, Laxus said again and he shook his head.

“No, it's fine. You can keep saying it. It is kinda funny to be honest. I just needed to know. I guess I'm a little concerned sometimes since, you know… You are a little older than me, and more of an adult. Sometimes I feel kinda childish around you. Like when I get jealous for no reason, like today.”

Taking his hand, Laxus admitted, “I do too.”

Bickslow frowned back at him. “When?”

“I got really jealous when you kissed other people, when you even smiled at others, when you were with Lucy. I still get jealous now, when we have to spend entire days away from another. It feels unfair somehow. I know that's silly. Shit, I feel so damn childish when I don't let you drag me into your little shenanigans, like I have to prove I'm an adult or something, because I don't feel like one at all times.”

Bickslow gaped at him across the table.

“Seriously?”

“Yea. I often feel kinda pretentious around you.”

Bickslow covered his mouth, trying to stifle his giggle.

“Pfft… That's adorable. I had no idea.”

Laxus sighed at the reaction, and when Bickslow didn't manage to calm down quick enough, he clicked his tongue.

“Yea, yea. Very funny. Most of us 'adults' aren't really all that, honestly.”

“What do you mean?”

“No one knows what the fuck they're doing. Not me, not bosses, not experts. Everyone just does their best to make the chaos work. If it looks like someone has it all figured out it just means they're good at hiding their mess.”

Bickslow wondered if he might be right. It's what everyone kept saying. No one is perfect. Everyone is just trying their best. Perfect families don't exist. All couples fight. He doubted everyone had quite as much mess around them as he did, but maybe everyone had at least some demons to deal with.

“Yea, perhaps you're right.”

Ordering and waiting for their food, Laxus and Bickslow kept chatting.

They talked about this odd mask of perfection that the world seemed so desperate to uphold, but also simpler things. They talked about interests, about hobbies, about dance, about music.

Bickslow was smiling over both ears. There was something magical about having casual conversations with Laxus.

Before, everything they ever talked about was school and work, or how they could or couldn't be together. Then, it was all about rules and money, about how they could make their move to Crocus work, how they would live and what they would need. But now they could just talk. About everything and nothing, and all that came in between.

It was almost a shame when the food arrived, for is caused their conversation to quiet down. The pause was restless, like they had been interrupted in the middle of a very important meeting that they had to hurry and get back to.

Bickslow was halfway through his plate when Laxus broke the silence.

“You are sure hungry.”

Noticing Laxus had merely begun his own meal, Bickslow shrugged.

“I guess it's 'cause I don't drink n' smoke as much any more”, he joked. “Too bad we can't have wine to this.”

Shaking his head at the comment, Laxus figured this was as good a time as any to make a commitment.

“About that. I think I'm going to join you in abstinence”, he said and Bickslow raised his eyebrows.

“Why? Since when do you have any interest in sobriety?

“To help”, Laxus explained. “Besides, it is healthier either way.”

“Fair enough.”

Shoving another forkful of rice and sauce into his mouth, Bickslow let the words sink in. Laxus wanted to help him with this? It was quite the commitment to make, abstaining entirely even though he himself didn't have any particular reason to quit the occasional glass.

Swallowing, he smiled back at his amazing boyfriend.

“Thanks.”

Raising water, Laxus prompted, “To us.”

“To us”, Bickslow agreed cheerfully, picking his soda up and lightly tipping it in the man's direction before bringing it to his lips.

They had been living together for several months now, but seeing Bickslow smile still made Laxus's heart jump with joy. Reaching across the table, he took the man's hand and leaned in. Bickslow met him halfway, kissing him softly over the little flower arrangement marking the middle of the table.

“I love you”, Bickslow murmured, stealing a second kiss before he leaned back in his seat. Rubbing his thumb over Laxus's, he gave a content sigh.

Their kiss didn't go unnoticed. A few of the other guests glanced toward their table. It seemed that wherever they went, they were quite the attraction. Two men, together, romantically. What a show.

Bickslow clicked his tongue and let go of Laxus's hand in favour of picking his fork back up and continuing their dinner.

Momentarily confused by the retreat, Laxus looked around and saw how all eyes snapped back to plates, comrades, and out the windows.

He wouldn't deny that he too looked a little longer when two men or two women were so clearly on a date. What annoyed him was not the fact that people looked, but how they looked. It wasn't a simple reaction to something slightly less common but perfectly normal, but a reaction to something peculiar and questionable. That is what pissed him off.

One couple in particular seemed appalled by their show of affection. Glaring back in the general direction, Laxus quickly got his message across and they suddenly found their food awfully fascinating.

Bickslow laughed and he frowned over at his suddenly immensely amused boyfriend. What exactly was funny about a pair of homophobes sending them glares across the room?

“What now?”, he wondered and Bickslow shook his head.

“You're so hot when you're being protective.”

Smirking, Laxus refocused on his own plate as well.

“Is that so?”

“It is”, Bickslow nodded, again nudging his foot a little under the table. “Makes me look forward to getting home.”

Now, the annoying pair a few tables down was really staring, and listening.

Fuck 'em.

Happy to have an excuse to piss them off a little more, Laxus asked, “Yea? Do you have anything specific in mind?”

A familiar, mischievous grin spread over Bickslow's face.

“I do.”

He leaned closer, hushing his voice enough to make it seem like he tried, but not enough to hinder anyone from listening in.

“Once we're home, I am going to lay you down on the bed and blow your mind.” Punctuating the last three words, he beckoned Laxus forward with a finger.

Laxus could feel his cheeks heating a little at the sultry voice. Following lead, he leaned in as well and Bickslow whispered, this time so no one could hear, “I'm going to have you like you've never been had before. I am going to make you forget the entire week, all the work. I'm going to love you so good you won't ever want to stop. Tomorrow morning, when you get up, you will still be feeling me inside you.”

Now sure that he was blushing, Laxus swallowed hard. There was no need for him to reply. The dark red eyes pierced through him, as though Bickslow could see his soul, could tell exactly what he was thinking in this moment.

The remainder of their dinner was suddenly far too long for their liking.

  



	7. Remember

Laxus wanted to try something new. Bickslow's lewd suggestions sounded fantastic.

If only he weren’t so nervous.

Locking himself in the bathroom, Laxus exhaled hard and turned to the cabinet. They had talked about it before, and they had even bought an extra enema already. Unpacking it, Laxus discarded the instructions. Taking the nozzle off and turning the tap on, he held a hand under the stream to check the temperature.

Despite the rushing water, he could hear his own heartbeat.

It was really happening. Tonight. It was hard to imagine. He had never barebacked with anyone before. At least not this way around. He was curious. Would it really feel different? Perhaps a little at least. Bickslow said it wasn't much of a difference until…

Laxus looked in the mirror to make sure he wasn’t blushing.

Today, Bickslow was not only going to fuck him, not only come while doing so, but leave a trace of himself in Laxus's body.

Laxus’s cheeks reddened a hint.

Fuck! Why was he so nervous?! It wasn't like he hadn't been under Bickslow before.

Since they moved in together, they had explored the position in great detail. Hell, he was starting to get comfortable with it, even allowing Bickslow to rule the happening entirely from time to time. It felt great and Bickslow was so fucking beautiful when he moved. The look on his face. The way his muscles tensed with every thrust. And, most importantly, Laxus felt safe under this beauty. He felt taken care of. He could simply let go and enjoy the ride. It came naturally now, almost like it had always been this easy.

Except today it wasn’t. Laxus was dead nervous once more. He felt like a teenager all over, about to have sex for the first time in his life. And he felt silly. And that pissed him off.

Adjusting the temperature, Laxus took another measured breath. He did want to do this. It would be a new experience, an unforgettable moment, and he was sharing it with the man he loved.

There was something incredibly intimate about having sex bare. When he slept with Bickslow, fucking him without any rubber between them, and spilled in his hot body, it felt a hundred times more special for some illusive reason. The physical sensation didn’t really differ. It was a thing of the mind, not the body.

Filling the body of the enema with lukewarm water, he pressed the tip back on and reached for his belt only to notice his fingers were shaking.

Damn it!

  


In the bedroom, Bickslow was nervous as well, but for all the opposite reasons.

While he had topped with Laxus a few times before, It was far from usual. In the grand scheme, considering how frequently they had sex, it was a marginal amount. And they always used a condom. And Laxus was always visibly uncomfortable despite insisting on repeating it.

Bickslow was acutely aware that Laxus was going out on a limb with him here. Laxus was leaving his comfort zone far behind tonight.

It had to be perfect. It had to be unforgettable.

Even if his seduction had started as a verbal middle finger to the other pair in the restaurant, he did mean every word. He wanted nothing more than make truth of it and blow Laxus's mind tonight.

There was only one issue. He couldn't claim and greater experience with being on top in general. Thinking all the way back to his first, he counted on his fingers. Give or take a lay here and there, he still didn't need to keep track of any tenths digit. And not one was without protection. This was new territory for both of them.

It had been one hell of an awkward conversation to have in the car, but now they both knew exactly what the idea for tonight was.

Hurrying into the hallway where he had hidden a few surprises, Bickslow gathered what he needed and began setting up.

Once satisfied with the room, he turned to the mirror. Seeing his reflection, cheeks flushed and a horribly goofy smile on his face, he chuckled. Might as well go all out while he was at it, right? Pulling the curtains shut, he undressed and climbed onto the bed. Trying out a few different positions, he finally settled on sitting on his knees. It didn't feel very sexy, but at least it wasn’t as awkward as lying on his side. And so he waited.

When the door to the bathroom finally opened again, Bickslow tensed.

Laxus stopped in the door, looking around the room with raised eyebrows.

Bickslow had spread candles all around the room. The tiny fires flickered on the bedside tables, the cabinet, and even the floor. One row was placed strategically in front of the mirror doors of their closet, evenly distributing the warm ambient light.

Bickslow looked amazing in the soft illumination. It complimented his smooth skin and made the red of his eyes sparkle with yellow reflections.

“Oh wow. That's… quite something”, Laxus managed.

“What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic”, Bickslow smirked.

Despite acting so confident, he was clearly tense, sitting rigid on the bed, hands fiddling with the sheets on either side of him, like he didn't know what else to do with them.

Laxus too was stiff, standing with his weight balanced out on both feet, head held high, and fingers playing with the towel wrapped around his hips, like he wasn't sure whether he wanted to remove it yet or not.

Their eyes met and in that meeting it became clear that they were not only both nervous, but both aware of each other’s nervousness, as well as each other’s awareness of it, and they couldn’t help but laugh.

“Come here”, Bickslow chuckled, patting the bed, and Laxus left his towel behind to join him on the sheets.

Taking Bickslow's hands in his own and watching closely how the candles danced in the dark red eyes, Laxus felt a profound sense of calm wash over him.

Here, under the gaze of this beauty, with the touch of these warm hands, he was safe. It was a familiar spell that was once more cast on him. No matter what happened today, if he messed up and embarrassed himself horribly, he knew he would be okay. He would be fine, because he was with Bickslow, and they were about to share something all new and amazing.

Nudging Bickslow's nose with his own, Laxus smiled. Tilting his head a little, he pressed a kiss to Bickslow's mouth, hoping it would convey all that was left unsaid.

Bickslow entwined their fingers, kissing back with no less. Licking over Laxus’s lips, he prompted them to part and slipped in to explore. Softly pressing his tongue against the other, he could feel how Laxus's fingers shifted, caressing over his own.

Using their joined hands for leverage, Bickslow pushed forward until he had his boyfriend on his back. Leaning over him, Bickslow admired the sight of the muscular body in the candlelight, every dip and curve shaded and every ridge highlighted. Lying here, he was a piece of art worthy of the galleries of Mercurius.

Locking their lips anew, Bickslow slowly pulled his hands out of Laxus's grip. He was not forcing, but coaxing Laxus to let go. Running his freed fingers down the art that was Laxus's body, he took great care retracing the patterns of soft brush strokes that the candles painted onto his stomach. Circling his thumb over a stiff nipple, he basked in the sight of Laxus's hips shifting under him. Following his hands with his mouth, he slowly descended until he reached said hips.

While Laxus always was a tasty view, in this atmosphere, his hard cock was downright delicious. A moist drop that had accumulated at the tip caught the flickering light, and the entire length was covered by an inviting sheen. Bickslow nuzzled against the lustre erection and Laxus groaned, his body twisting sensually.

“Fuck you're hot”, Bickslow murmured against the sensitive skin, and gained himself another huff and shift.

Finally climbing between the strong legs, he reached for the lube and the enchantment broke.

Laxus tensed in an instant, and cursed right after.

It pissed him off that he was so agitated. What was with this useless nervousness?! Bickslow never reacted like this! There was no reason for him to worry. It made no sense. It was ridiculous!

“Relax”, Bickslow said softly as always and Laxus grumbled.

“Yea, yea, I know.”

Watching Bickslow uncap the flask and squeeze a generous amount of lube into his hand, Laxus focused on his breathing. Inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling slowly through his mouth, he willed his muscles to relax again. To his surprise, it worked like a charm. When Bickslow reached down, one finger nudging for entrance, he could easily allow it so slip inside.

Closing his eyes, he felt the digit retreat again only for two to try next. Another measured inhale and exhale, and again, it wasn't a problem.

Seeing Laxus slowly unwind under him, Bickslow smiled over both ears. He didn't even have to distract Laxus with any caressing touches like usual. Figuring it would be best not to point this out or give Laxus the time to grow uneasy, he went for it, sliding three fingers into the relaxed body and then edging forward to line up.

Entering was almost too easy. Half expecting Laxus to clench his hands to fists again, Bickslow was surprised to find him merely lying there, arms slack at his sides, letting it all happen as though he wasn't even aware of the happening.

“Aright?”, Bickslow wondered and Laxus drew a deep breath.

Slowly opening his eyes, he saw Bickslow sitting between his legs, head crooked to the side in bewilderment. Who could blame him? Laxus was surprised as well. He hadn't thought he would get this far without any kind of hiccup.

“I'm fine”, he ensured.

“Okay”, Bickslow nodded.

Straightening his back, he made sure he could see all of Laxus as he experimentally thrust forward. And what a sight it was.

Laxus's eyes closed momentarily, his lips parting to let out a soft moan, and his hands shooting up to search for his lover.

Leaning forward to let them find him, Bickslow set a moderate pace, trying to imitate what Laxus had guided him to when they were last in this position. It was intoxicating, feeling the strong fingers dig into his shoulders for hold, and knowing what immense trust it took for them to pull rather than push.

Noticing a far too satisfied grin on Bickslow's face, Laxus frowned back, “What?”

“You're blushing.”

“Shut up.”

Now aware of it too and feeling how hot his face was, Laxus huffed, “Tch. Since when are you so eager to top any way?”

“You don't like it?”, Bickslow worried.

“I didn't say that.”

Realising it was but a defensive growl, not a complaint, Bickslow decided to kick down all doors. Leaning down closer, he firmed his thrusts.

His own voice raspy as well, he asked, “Do you remember when we watched that film? With those guys that left home together? Remember how we did it that evening?”

“How could I forget?”

“Do you remember every detail?”

Laxus shrugged.

“I do”, Bickslow stated.

So close that his breath tickled over Laxus's neck, he mused, “And I remember exactly how you looked at me as I fucked you.”

He nudged Laxus's head to the side and pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot behind his ear.

“It was just like that.”

Seeing his reflection in the mirror, Laxus felt the heat jump from his face to spread all over his chest. It was such an odd sight, him on his back, legs spread, blushing like he had been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. The sight of Bickslow above him was far more enticing, the perfect man moving with him, pleasing him.

“Idiot”, he grumbled, looking away, and Bickslow chuckled.

“You're so sexy.”

  


A few candles drowned in their own wax, dimming the room further, and Bickslow was growing weary. He had aimed to hold back, make sure Laxus came before him, but that effort had failed about thirty minutes ago. With Laxus continuously moaning his pleasure, he had somehow managed to keep going, but he was battling with exhaustion.

Loosing the fight, he stilled.

“Already tired?”, Laxus mocked and he just chuckled.

Trying to pick his movement back up, he determined it wasn't an option and backed off. Flopping down on his back and running a hand through his sweaty hair, he made a conscious effort to catch his breath, but he didn't get far when Laxus sat up.

Straddling him, Laxus determined, “You were right.”

“Right?”, Bickslow asked breathlessly.

Seeing his lover’s cock threatening to go slack in the pause, Laxus wrapped a hand around it, stroking and stimulating it back to hardness. Now it really came in handy that Bickslow was so easy to rile up, and had exceptional stamina.

Steadying the length, Laxus eased down on it and Bickslow gave the most satisfying whine of pleasure and frustration.

“You were right”, Laxus repeated.

“I don't ever want to stop.”

  



	8. Shoe Cane

Laxus pulled the carton of milk from the shopping bag and opened the fridge. Where would Bickslow put it? Middle shelf. Laxus was almost sure that was correct. Next: juice. That was an easy one. Right beside the milk.

It was time. In a couple of hours Bickslow's friends were due at the train station. That was the main reason for their separate shopping trips. While Laxus bought groceries as listed by his more organised boyfriend, Bickslow was headed to the shopping centre for extra pillows and blankets as well as an inflatable mattress. The couch wouldn't be awfully comfortable for two people to sleep on.

Apples. Laxus had no clue. Top shelf perhaps. Did they even go in the fridge? He shrugged to himself and placed them beside the cheese.

The front door opened again. Bickslow huffed and a couple of bags rustled.

At least the margarine, Laxus knew exactly where to put. Top shelf. Guaranteed.

“Did you find everything?”, he asked aloud as he shook the last few items from the bag.

“I think so”, Bickslow confirmed.

He crouched down, untied his shoes and shoved them aside before chucking his jacket off as well.

“This is going to be great! I haven't seen them in ages.”

Turning to the coat stand. Bickslow spotted something new dangle from one of the hooks and his smile dropped from his face.

“Laxus?!”

Alarmed by his call, Laxus rushed into the hallway. He found Bickslow standing amongst shopping bags with his jacket clutched in one had as the other pointed toward the coat hanger accusingly. His eyes were fixed on the new shoe cane Laxus had bought as tough he was afraid it would come to life.

“What the fuck is that?”

Laxus frowned. Was that a rhetorical question? When Bickslow didn't say anything further, he decided to answer sincerely, just in case it wasn't.

“It's a shoe cane. It's not that exotic.”

“Can we please throw it out? Or give it back? Something”, Bickslow requested and his frown grew deeper.

“Why?”

“It's disturbing.”

Looking between Bickslow and the tool hanging by the door a few times, Laxus repeated, “Disturbing?”

Bickslow nodded, finally hanging his jacket onto one of the free hooks while firmly avoiding to accidentally brush against the shoe cane.

“Yes. Just, please. Get rid of it.”

“It's very handy to have”, Laxus argued and Bickslow spun around.

“I don't care!”

Laxus's eyes went wide at the outburst. Stepping around one of the tipped shopping bags, he placed a hand on Bickslow's shoulder.

“What's your beef with a piece of plastic?”

Bickslow averted his eyes. Turning almost entirely toward the door, he murmured a barely audible answer.

“Nothing.”

“That's awfully convincing”, Laxus said sarcastically.

“I don't wanna talk a bout it.”

Laxus accepted that. He had pressed Bickslow for answers last time because he needed to hear it, but demanding a show of scars was not something he wanted to make a habit.

“Okay. I'll throw it out, but tell me what aspect of it is you hate at least? So I know what to avoid in the future. Is it the fact that it is a shoe cane, the colour, or something else?”

Relieved that Laxus didn't laugh at his request or ridicule it, Bickslow forced himself to at least face his boyfriend again, even if he couldn't bring himself meet the orange eyes.

“I hate that it is a shoe cane, but that specific make is the absolute worst.”

“Okay”, Laxus nodded again.

“I'm sorry”, Bickslow sighed.

“What for?”

“For being like this.”

“Don't. I love you. I don't care about a fucking shoe cane. If you hate it that much, for whatever reason, I'll get rid of it.”

Bickslow still didn't relax, or look up.

Laxus came closer still, so close Bickslow would merely have to lean in to feel the man's warmth. He wanted to, but something held him back. Even now that they were this close, that they lived together, he still felt patronised by Laxus in moments like these, and he hated it. Even now, he was stuck between the desire to be held and comforted, and the fear of being pitied by the one man that was not allowed to do so, ever.

Laxus wouldn't pity him. He wouldn't. Bickslow looked up.

“I was hit with one just like it”, he admitted.

“Shit. I'm sorry I brought it home.”

Bickslow shook his head, “You wouldn't have known.”

“Still. I'm sorry I triggered that kind of memory”, Laxus insisted.

Taking the shoe cane off its hook, he could see Bickslow shy back half a step. He really was scared of the implement, wasn't he?

Laxus clenched his fist around the plastic. The world was fucking sick for something like this to happen to people, to kids. Bickslow had been but a child when someone beat him with a fucking shoe cane. Taking a hold of it with both hands, Laxus bent it in fury until it finally gave in and broke into two.

Stomping into the kitchen, he disposed of the parts and took a moment to collect himself.

Pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath, he willed his voice to remain calm, his shoulders to relax, and his face to hide the anger he felt. Turning on his heel, he saw Bickslow now standing in the doorway, and smiling at him.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Picking the shopping bags back up, Bickslow dragged them into the living room and opened the packages so their new textiles could air out and expand fully.

Besides the crinkling of the bags, everything was quiet. It wasn't a good silence. It was strained silence, framed with impatience.

Not sure what caused the tension, if it was the cane now resting in their trash or something else entirely, Laxus held his tongue until Bickslow was done, folding the last bag together and placing it in the right closet.

He turned around with a nervous air about himself. Fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he took heart a second time and said it.

“There is something else I wanna tell you.”

They settled on the living room couch, and Laxus focused completely on his boyfriend. He didn't say a word and simply waited for the other to collect his thoughts and vocalise what he needed to.

“I uh”, Bickslow mumbled, “I took antidepressants for a while, but it was, ehrm, bad. That's when I…”

He held his left arm up to present the scar going over his wrist, and lost his voice entirely.

“I know”, Laxus admitted to spare him the pain of having to explain it.

Bickslow frowned at him.

“Gajeel told me”, Laxus explained.

Surprise was replaced with anger in an instant.

“He did? When?”

“When he heard that we were going to move to Crocus. He warned me to take care of you if you ever start taking meds again.”

Bickslow nodded in understanding and silence fell on the room once more. This time it was a relieved and hopeful silence, like before the official announcement of good news.

Drawing his feet up on the couch and gathering his knees in his arms, Bickslow stared down at the coffee table.

“I talked to my new therapist and she said that I can try to recover without them. I'm probably going to be way more of a mess, but I really, really, do not want to take them. I know it woks for many, and that's great, but I hate it.”

“I'm with you”, Laxus ensured.

Placing one hand on Bickslow's, he met the dark red eyes and stated firmly, “No matter what road you choose, I'm with you on it. Medication or no medication, I'm here for you.”

“Thank you.”

Bickslow leaned in for a kiss, but something still bothered him. Making it but a short peck, he pulled away.

“Did he tell you just how it happened?”

“He said you were medicated and under suicide watch when you found a kitchen knife.”

Bickslow nodded. Watching Laxus for any sign of discomfort, of reluctance, of not wanting to hear the details, he found nothing but patience and concern. Laxus always said he could talk if he wanted to, and Mrs. Keaton kept saying that he should communicate more with the people closest to him. It was weird, though. No one wanted to hear about his sob story. Especially not adults.

“Whenever I over-medicated or otherwise drugged myself into a coma, I just ended up in a hospital the next day, which didn't make it better. And I had tried jumping already. Twice.”

He huffed a laugh, “Seems people aren't inclined to let you do it in peace.”

While a laugh would have been relaxing, he understood that Laxus didn't find it the least bit funny. He didn't have humour quite that dark. Hell, the only people Bickslow had met that genuinely laughed at snarly suicide remarks were others that had tried or at least contemplated it.

“That's why I was being watched. I couldn't sleep, but my caretaker eventually could. I sneaked out of my room, aiming for the roof, but once in the kitchen…” He made a vague gesture. Laxus already knew how the story ended.

“You wanna know what's weird? I'm sure it must have hurt like a bitch, but I don't remember feeling any pain. I just remember I was really warm and really cold at the same time. And it was wet, and kinda sticky, almost slimy you know? Weird as hell.”

Not daring to look up at whatever disgust must have crept onto Laxus's face, Bickslow instead opted for cuddling against the man's side. Feeling the strong arms wrap around him and the warm hands stroke down his back calmly, he closed his eyes.

“And what's really scary is this weird…” He made a vague gesture. “I guess you could call it nostalgia. It was so much easier to just give up and feel like shit rather than fighting my own brain every morning.”

He knew Laxus couldn't understand that, not really. It made no sense even to him, but there was a twisted comfort in curling together and giving up on life.

“Sorry. I'm being weird.”

“No you're not”, Laxus soothed. “Not more than usual.”

“Gyha.”


	9. Pink

Laxus and Bickslow stood waiting in the huge grey hall that was Crocus Central Station. The noon train that carried their visitors was due in a few minutes.

Last Bickslow walked through the station, he was completely disoriented. Now playing host and approaching the chaos from outside, it was much easier to navigate the various tracks and find whom he was looking for.

Out of the Hargeon train climbed three familiar faces with bags in tow.

Hurrying over, Bickslow caught Gajeel off guard and gave the man a good scare before receiving a bone crushing hug in return. Embracing Levy next, he finally turned to his ex-girlfriend with a bright grin.

“Still heartbroken?”

“Extremely. I'm just drawn back to you”, Lucy sniggered.

“I knew it! Gyha.”

Hugging her more gently, he smirked over both ears.

“Did you have a good trip?”

“Works”, Levy shrugged and Gajeel grumbled irritably.

“No. No it doesn't”, he determined.

“Stomach acting up?”, Bickslow teased and he clicked his tongue.

“I told you to take the medicine before getting on the train”, Levy scolded and he gave another huff.

Turning to their other host, he nodded in the man's direction, “Mr. Dreyar.”

“Laxus, please. I'm not your teacher any more.”

“Thank fuck for that”, Gajeel muttered and Levy gave him a hard nudge.

“What?”

“Be nice”, Levy hissed and offered the blonde her hand.

“Is the new teacher any good at least?”, Laxus jested.

“Oh. No. Totally sucks. You were way better”, Levy sniggered. “He's doing fine. Just a bit insecure for a teacher.”

“Good to hear.”

Shaking Lucy's hand as well, Laxus opted not to offer it to Gajeel. The man had made it quite clear he wasn't interested in pleasantries.

  


At home, Bickslow proudly showed their guests around the apartment. Laxus fled the scene and busied himself with preparing refreshments in the meantime. Anything to avoid the inevitable for a few more minutes.

When the glasses were filled and he joined the four friends on the couch, an awkward tension settled in the room alongside with him. All five used the excuse the beverages provided to dodge the first sentence, but the careful slurping only served to make it worse.

Seeing Lucy frown down at her hand and rubbing together her thumb and index finger, Bickslow finally took the opportunity to break the horrid silence.

“Chipped nail?”

“It's been annoying me all day”, she sighed.

Holding a finger up, Bickslow excused himself and came back with a thick etui holding his nail kit. Lucy clapped her hands together happily before accepting it.

“My knight in shining armour. Thanks!”

“Gyha. You're welcome Princess.”

“Do you mind?”, Levy wondered, motioning to the kit as well and he shook his head.

“Not at all. I should fix my nails too either way.”

“Laxus, you too”, he prompted with a teasing smirk, beckoning the man closer.

Sighing, Laxus scooted over. He was starting to get used to it, and had to admit the sensation of well tended nails was a comfortable one. What he didn't like was the process. Holding his hands still for so long and then having to wait before touching anything was incredibly inconvenient.

With something familiar to do, the friends soon relaxed. Levy picked up on Laxus's comment and gossiped about the new teacher. Gajeel eased back into his usual slouch. Lucy tended to her chipped nail. Bickslow made sure to file Laxus's nails evenly. Life was good.

Ready to pick a colour, Lucy hovered over the selection Bickslow had collected over the years. There was a little of everything. Red, green, blue, silver, you name it. His all time favourite was still plain black, though. It was timeless and fit with everything.

Uninterested in the contemplation, Laxus relaxed back instead and Gajeel crocked one pierced eyebrow.

“You're going plain?”, he questioned.

Laxus shrugged, “I'm not really interested in having any colour on my hands.”

“What's the point of that? Too cool to have fun?”, Gajeel snarled, ignoring the glare Levy threw his way.

Seeing the exchange as well, Lucy quickly intervened by jesting, “You should try pink.”

“No way”, Laxus determined at once and Gajeel grinned, flashing his teeth.

“How about a game?”

Despite the menace in her boyfriend's voice, Levy's irritation melted away. An amused huff left her as she tried to swallow back a giggle and Laxus raised an eyebrow. Even without knowing the rules, he was pretty sure he didn't like this game.

“What game?”, Lucy wondered in his stead and Levy explained.

“It's a punishment game. There is a competition of some sort and the winner gets to decide what colour everyone wears for the coming week. We used to play it a lot during freshmen year.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It is”, Bickslow nodded.

Seeing the enthusiasm on the teenagers, Laxus sighed. Gajeel clearly still had a bone to pick with him. If an innocent game could be enough to break the ice, who was he to throw stones in that path?

“Fine then. What kind of competition?”

“Usually UNO”, Levy shrugged and he gave a disgruntled groan. The devils game. It was pure luck and boring as hell.

“Afraid to loose?”, Gajeel taunted.

Now Laxus was sure he had read the situation correctly. There was definitely still disdain here. Not that he could blame the man. He had broken all the rules of law and decency and one more atop that.

“Fine, fine”, he gave in.

Digging up the set of cards they had amused themselves with on the train, Levy began shuffling the deck.

“Remember, if you forget to call UNO, you have to draw new cards again.”

Laxus repressed another sigh at the silly game before picking his cards up and beginning. Figuring that he could score a few points with Gajeel if he won, he did try, but Levy made sure to remind everyone at the table that UNO, while relying heavily on luck, ultimately also was a game of wits.

Laying her last card down, she clapped her hands together loudly before raising them in victory.

“Suck it!”

“Language Shrimp”, Gajeel laughed and she gave him the middle finger, gaining a snort from Lucy instead.

Collecting the cards, Levy determined, “Laxus gets pink.”

High-fiving Lucy for the choice, she pointed to Gajeel next. “Silver with glitter.”

“Eow, glitter?”, he complained and she giggled happily.

“Lucy gets gold and Bickslow has a classic red.”

“And you?”, Bickslow asked.

“Blue of course”, she smirked, snatching the bottle matching her hair from his collection.

Smiling brightly, Bickslow handed his partner a bright pink bottle of polish that he couldn't even remember when he got. It didn't seem all too dried up.

“This kinda reminds me of someone”, he hinted.

It took a second, but once Gajeel caught on he laughed heartedly. “Gihihi! Oh yea. A _certain_ someone.”

“Don't be so secretive. Who?”, Lucy asked.

“A lay. He won and picked hot pink for us while taking plain white himself.”

“Who's lay?”, Laxus asked and the men chuckled.

“Both”, Bickslow smiled, not surprised to see Laxus raise his eyebrows.

“You slept with someone else… both? At the same time?”

“Yea. What, haven't you ever had a threesome?”, Gajeel asked and he shook his head.

“No. Never.”

“You're kidding.”

Laxus shrugged as he uncapped the pink polish. As far as he was aware, it wasn't that usual for people to have done something like it.

“Would you want to?”, Bickslow asked and he raised his shoulders again.

“Sure, I guess.”

“With a woman or with a man?”

“A man would be better.”

“Awesome. That is way more fun”, Bickslow determined happily.

“Why's that?”

“I love being in the middle and women always tend to get that role.”

Laxus noticed just how causal they could suddenly be again, even with his former students around. Even Gajeel had calmed down a little now. Laxus wondered, was he accepted as part of the group after the card game or was there another storm coming? He really couldn't tell.

He was distracted by Levy and Lucy, who stuck their heads together to exchange a whisper. Both laughed heartedly and glanced at Gajeel who frowned back.

“What?”

“Well...” They looked between the three men sitting beside another on the couch.

Catching their drift, Gajeel stuck his tongue out in disgust. “Oh, eow! Lev! Did you have to?! I'm never getting that picture out of my head again! Urgh.”

“Am I that bad looking?”, Laxus teased and Bickslow doubled over in laughter.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Gajeel growled at his friends, “Geh. Fuck all of ya.”

“Go ahead”, Bickslow managed between snorts of laughter.

“You know well what I meant!”

“Gyhaha!”

Bickslow finally fell off the couch in laughter and Gajeel rolled his eyes.

“Geh.”

He had to admit, Bickslow did look happy with Laxus. No matter how much Gajeel disliked the entire ordeal, his friend dating their teacher and actually moving away with him, it didn't seem like Bickslow had any regrets.

What worried Gajeel was the far too entertained reaction. Bickslow had a tendency to react stronger in every way when something was off, and laughing fits could easily be a part of it. Pointing it out would merely make him sound like a jerk, though.

First when he was alone with Levy, lying on inflatable mattresses in the apartment’s living room, did he speak up about his hunch.

“What do you think?”

“About?”, Levy wondered and he motioned toward the closed bedroom door.

“Them.”

She shrugged. “What about them? They look happy.”

“A little too happy.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

He knew it. He sounded like a jerk. Good thing his girlfriend had a little more patience for his clumsy explanations.

“I don't know. It doesn't feel right. Bickslow's clearly overcompensating for something. I wonder if he's okay.”

Levy turned onto her side, inspecting him in the dim light that managed to sneak through both blinds and curtains.

“If you're worried, talk to him.”

“Yea, I will. Could you have a talk with Laxus then?”, Gajeel requested.

“Me?”

“I'm not really on the best terms with him”, he apologised and she sighed.

“Because you're being difficult. I really don't get what your problem with him is.”

“He is a teacher”, Gajeel hissed. “Was _our_ teacher.”

“So?”

“So he is being an ass. He's dating a student. I mean who the fuck does that? It's fucked up.”

“Yea, I guess you have a point. But still, you could be a little less aggressive. He _is_ Bickslow's boyfriend now”, Levy tried to mitigate yet again.

“So you'll talk to him?”, Gajeel asked and she grumbled.

“Please. Lev. Even if I am super polite, neither me nor him wants that conversation, believe me. It was awkward enough the last time I had to talk to him.”

“I thought you had a good heart-to-heart?”

“Yea, sure. But it was awkward as fuck either way.”

“Let's ask Lucy to do it”, Levy determined.

“Why Lucy?”

“She was the one that talked to him in the hospital as well, remember? I think she actually has a little bit of a connection to work with.”

“Right. That makes sense.”

“Good night now”, Levy insisted and he held his tongue.

Or at least, he did for a full minute. Turning toward his clever, beautiful girlfriend, he whispered, “Hey Shrimp?”

Irritated with the nickname, she hissed back, “What?”

“I love you.”

Typical. Of course he had to say that after being annoying.

“I love you too”, she sighed and a dark chuckle emitted from the other mattress.

She thought that would be it, but Gajeel tugged his blanket aside, instead climbing over to her, and she eyed him sceptically.

“What are you doing?”

“Shh”, he teased, sneaking a hand under her blanket and down her hip.

“They're in the next room”, Levy warned.

“So? Not like they'd let that stop 'em.”

“Gods, remind me why I am together with such an impossible idiot”, Levy sighed and he gave a playful growl.

“Oh, I intend to.”

  



	10. Site Seeing

Monday was adventure day.

Levy and Gajeel had never been to the capital before, and while Gajeel would have been fine with kicking back somewhere and avoiding any form of movement, Levy insisted they go site seeing. As soon as breakfast had been consumed, she impatiently urged the boys to gather what they needed so they could head out.

Placing their bags into the trunk of Laxus's car, Gajeel grinned at his girlfriend. “Hey why don't you drive Lev? Get some practice?”

Bickslow brightened up. “You got your license?!”

“Yea. Last month”, Levy nodded happily. She made a face. “Didn't I tell you?”

“No.”

“I must have forgotten. Sorry”, Levy said, but he waved it off with a broad smile.

“Would you mind, Laxus?”, she wondered.

“I would. I will drive.”

“Don't be so bullheaded”, Bickslow complained, placing his hands on his hips.

“It's not about that.”

“What then?”

Laxus grumbled, reluctant to speak it aloud.

“I get motion sick if I'm not behind the wheel”, he admitted quietly.

Bickslow's mouth formed a surprised 'o'. “Really? I had no idea.”

“I can't even take the bus.”

“That explains a lot actually.”

Laxus gave another grumble before taking his place in the driver's seat. He hated that his stomach was so easily upset. It was silly, he knew, but it just didn't feel very manly. Then again, being so insecure about it didn't feel particularly cool either.

That was another thing he appreciated so much with Bickslow. His boyfriend understood that he too was only human, and thus sometimes insecure, sometimes vulnerable even for silly reasons. And that was okay.

Turning the keys, he made sure his passengers all had their seatbelts on before setting the car into motion.

Driving toward the east, they made stop at the Heartfilia estate to pick up the fine daughter of the rich and famous family.

Lucy was waiting outside a set of high iron gates when they pulled up, and quickly jumped into the car.

Glancing through the swirling metal bars as they passed, Bickslow spotted the mansion in the distance. He had expected something grand, but the driveway was just unnecessarily long, and the house itself was larger than his entire school.

“Damn. As I've been saying, you're a princess, castle and all”, he joked.

Lucy gave a forced laugh.

“Then I am the princess that's kidnapped by a dragon, held captive and never allowed to do what I want. Then, one day, the prince arrives, gives me a ring, but doesn't free me from the dragon. No, he'll put a second one in place to make sure I stay put where I belong.”

“Yikes.”

“Did you sleep well?”, Lucy derailed the conversation and he nodded awkwardly.

Another hour by car toward the east, looming over the city from the hillside, stood Domus Flau, their destination for the forenoon. Levy had made sure the trip would be worth it. This early, the entrance wasn't flocked yet and they could smoothly make their way inside.

It was an awe inspiring view, standing in the middle of the grand arena.

Most houses from the time were built in whatever awkward angle happened to hold, but Domus Flau was a near perfect circle. From the dirt arena in the centre, all the way to the outer walls, not a single stone was out of place. How this was accomplished so long ago was a mystery lost to time, but the many legends surrounding the stadium only made it more attractive to tourists.

What they did know for sure was that this indeed was a place for competitions and sports. Even before the old documents and drawings were discovered, historians had been confident in that fact. The many rows of stone benches were a good indicator, and what shed further light on the use of the humongous building were the four statues towering from the bleachers. The old mythological wizards of strength, endurance, pride, and vanity watched over the games, one guarding and guiding each quarter.

Reading the tourist guide handbook aloud to her friends with enthusiasm, Levy was glad they at least listened with one ear. It was more than she had expected. She led on through the old corridors hidden under the bleachers and made stop at every little window and pedestal that had been placed inside, happily reading every detail on the plaques.

The rest of the troupe sometimes glanced at the text as well if there was an item of special interest near it. Bickslow for one found the old duelling equipment very fascinating. They actually used real swords. It was a dangerous sport to get involved in.

He barely noticed Gajeel creeping to his side.

“So… How is it? Living with your big love.”

Despite the obvious effort to hide it, Bickslow could hear the sarcastic undertone. Maybe they weren't past the resentment quite yet after all.

“It's good.”

“But?”

“But…”, Bickslow took the bait. His eyes darted to their friends, measuring weather or not they would be able to hear. “…not quite what I imagined I guess.”

“Do I need to beat him up?”, Gajeel joked.

“Gyha, no no. It's just kinda complicated sometimes. Before, we spent all day together, even if we couldn't really interact much. Now we don't even do that. We only have the evenings together.”

“And weekends, right?”, Gajeel asked.

“Right. He had to work a lot the past few, though.”

“That's gotta suck.”

“Yea”, Bickslow sighed.

“That bad?”

“Nah. I just messed it up”, Bickslow mumbled. “It's totally on me. I tried to pretend that it didn't bother me, and, well… it did. A lot.”

“Idiot.”

“I know. I know.”

They stalked toward the next exhibition piece together, eyeing a heavy helmet, but the conversation had managed to sidetrack Bickslow.

“Laxus told me that you talked to him about my suicide attempt.”

Surprise flickered over Gajeel's face briefly before settling into an apologetic, yet not quite remorseful expression.

“I'm sorry. I just thought he needed to know. I didn't want anything to happen to you. When you said you'd leave, I felt responsible. Like, I won't be able to make sure you're aright any more, and…” He paused, but ultimately decided to admit it. “That scared me.”

Bickslow hugged him tightly.

“Thank you.”

“You're not mad?”

“No.” Bickslow shook his head and looked up.

“I might have been the first couple of minutes after finding out, but honestly, it was so much easier to talk about it with Laxus this way. I still have this…” He motioned up and down between them. “…barrier. Because, you know…”

“He's an 'adult'?”, Gajeel more stated than asked.

“Yea.”

Gajeel took a hold of Bickslow's shoulders, meeting his eyes sternly. “I hate to break it to you, but so are you, Doofus.”

Bickslow cracked a smile. “I know! It's so weird!”

“Pfft Gihihihi! You really are an idiot!”

“Oh shut up Metal Brains.”

Pulling Bickslow back into a now menacing hug, Gajeel growled, “Watch it. Only Shrimp gets away with that one.”

Giggling, Bickslow wrapped his arms around his broad shouldered friend in turn. They stood like that for a while, enjoying the familiar and dearly missed contact.

Making sure no one else was currently passing by, Gajeel wondered, “Hey, can I ask you something? Why is it you have such a hard time trusting 'adults'?” He made quotation marks in the air before letting his hands resettle on Bickslow's back.

“I uh… It's a long story. And not one I wanna get into right now.”

“Okay.”

Bickslow sighed into his jacket. “Sorry.”

“Hey now. You don't owe me an explanation.”

Nodding softly, Bickslow let out another, even deeper sigh. “I should explain it to Laxus though, shouldn't I?”

“You don't owe him one either”, Gajeel grumbled.

“I know. But still, I feel like it's unfair to him to not tell him.”

Easing off a little to cup Bickslow's cheeks with his hands and meet the other pair of dark red eyes, Gajeel forced any Laxus related venom from his voice and offered his advice and opinion.

“You do what you need and want to do. No more and no less.”

Seeing how much effort he put into it, Bickslow smiled. He nodded and took a hold of the warm hands cradling him. Offering one a soft kiss, he looked up again and leaned in.

The soft lips were welcoming and familiar, just like Gajeel's hug. He had missed them far too much. Running his hands through the well known unruly hair, he deepened the contact and sighed in content.

  


Standing far enough from the pair not to hear their words, but not far enough not to see what they were doing, Laxus felt a flare of anger suddenly bursting to life in his chest.

Levy didn't seem to mind her boyfriend kissing someone else, smiling at the scene, but Laxus felt like a long dead fire had been rekindled inside of him. It was scorching him from the inside. It was like back at Fairy Tail. He had seen Bickslow kiss both Gajeel and Lucy on different occasions, and every time it drove a nail into his heart, because he wanted to be the one doing the kissing. He wanted to be with Bickslow, but he couldn't, and it hurt so much.

When the pair finally let go of another, he strode over and caught a hold of Bickslow, pointing to nothing in the distance as an excuse to walk him further away. Stepping into one of the branching archways, he stopped and turned around. His jaw was aching from how hard he bit together.

“What was that about?”, he demanded and Bickslow shrugged.

“Nothing. Just talk.” It was almost a question as if left his mouth.

“I meant the kiss”, Laxus clarified and his eyebrows raised.

“Oh. I don't know. It just felt right I guess? Why? Does that make you jealous?”, he asked seriously.

“Kind of. Yea”, Laxus grumbled, forcing back his instinct to make a scene and really speak his mind about the issue.

Bickslow rubbed his arm nervously. “Well… I don't want you to feel bad or anything, but I'm not going to hold back from kissing my friends. That would be weird to me. I'd feel…” He paused, thinking hard. “Restricted.”

“Restricted?”, Laxus repeated.

Bickslow nodded. “It's the kind of relationship I have with Gajeel. And with Lucy too. It would feel weird to not give them a kiss. It would be like I wasn't allowed to hug them or something. I mean, not to sound awful, but you don't own me, or my body. This is something I am not willing to negotiate.”

Laxus took a measured breath. They had never agreed on any exclusiveness. Quite to the contrary. For a long time they were explicitly in an open relationship. And he didn't want to claim Bickslow as his property. That wasn't the intention at all.

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”, Bickslow asked, a tremble of fear evident in his voice now.

“Okay. I don't mind. Or at least I will learn to live with it”, Laxus clarified and he exhaled in relief.

“Thanks for understanding.”

Giving his boyfriend a big hug, Bickslow added, “It's really nothing, though. Like a hug, but more loving I guess.”

“It's fine. I'll get used to it.”

Bickslow kissed him softly. “I love you. You alone.”

Kissing back, Laxus slipped his tongue into his partner's mouth before pulling back. “I love you too.”

  


  


In the afternoon, they visited the Mercurius art gallery instead, and Lucy seized the opportunity to approach her target. Levy and Gajeel had explained the situation, and she agreed. If anyone should talk to him about Bickslow, it was her. She had done it before after all. And he had never strictly speaking been her teacher.

Sitting down beside Laxus on one of the benches, she cleared her throat.

“Can I ask something?”

Not taking his eyes of the painting before them, Laxus nodded. “What is it?”

“How is it really going between you two?”

Drawing his eyes from the angel praying in the oil painting, Laxus inspected the young woman sitting beside him instead. With her long golden hair, the white dress, and a soft smile, all she would have needed was a set of wings. Then she could have been the model for the picture of innocence before them. Laxus shook the comparison out of his head again. Why did he always have to be so sentimental when it came to art?

“What do you mean 'really'?”

“You seem a little…” She ever so lightly nudged her head in his direction. “…tense.”

Laxus sighed deeply, consciously rolling his shoulders back. “Hm. I guess I am. Sometimes I just wonder if I made the right choice.”

“The right choice?”, Lucy wondered.

“To move in with him.”

“Oh.”

Lucy didn't really know what to say to that. It was far worse than anything she had expected him to say. She thought Gajeel was just imagining things. They seemed so happy yesterday.

“It's just complicated”, Laxus almost defended. “Some days are prefect. Others, not so much. I feel like I'm constantly saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing. I keep hurting him and it kills me that I can't do better.”

Lucy placed a hand on his arm. “Every relationship gets complicated sometimes.”

“Yours didn't.”

“Because it wasn't real. Bickslow annoyed me a lot some days, but then I could just walk away. There was never any love involved, so it's a completely different thing.”

“Right. But is what I'm doing really okay? I don't want to hurt him. Maybe it would have been better had I walked away.” Laxus almost whispered now, like his own words scared him.

“No. Don't think that. He loves you”, Lucy stated, shaking her head.

Laxus met her eyes and she could see the pain he felt. The guilt.

“But am I good for him?”

“You _are_ ”, she answered sincerely and firmly.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I can see it in the way he changes. Remember when he was hospitalised and you told me you were glad he was dating me specifically, that I made him calm down and stay on campus? You made him stop drinking and smoking. You made him finish the second year. You _are_ good for him, whether you see that or not.

And don't blame yourself for saying the wrong thing. He has been through a lot. I don't know half of it, but I know that he can be…” She grasped for the right term. “Touchy when it comes to certain subjects. He's aware of it too, though. Just give it time.”

Placing his hand on the one Lucy had offered him, Laxus turned back to the painting.

“Thank you.”

  


  


  


Laxus's resting face was a mean one. He knew that. And he didn't care. He didn't have any reason to keep smiling all day. If something nice happened, you drew your lips into a curve for a moment and then relaxed again.

When Laxus arrived at work on Tuesday morning however, he was smiling. And it did not go unnoticed.

“You seem to be in a good mood”, Evergreen greeted.

“I guess.”

He even sounded happy. A few heads turned in surprise.

“Did something nice happen on your day off?”, Freed wondered.

“Yea.”

“Like what?”

“We had some visitors.”

“Who?”, Freed kept fishing for details.

“Bickslow's friends.”

“That's nice.”

Nodding, Laxus poured himself a cup of coffee and downed it the minute after, letting the heat burn down his throat.

They sat up late into the night, all five together, talking and playing cards. He was pretty sure the rings under his eyes were still visible even though he got up more than an hour ago to say his farewell. Surely the trio was on their way to the train by now.

Yawning, Laxus went to his desk and gathered his paperwork.

“Laxus?”, Evergreen asked bewildered. “Why are your nails pink?”

Laxus looked down at his hands, shrugged, and headed out the door with a simple, “Why not?”

Freed blinked after the oddly cheerful man.

“Fair enough. But Laxus and pink?”

“He does have style”, Evergreen shrugged. “He must have had a lot of fun to come to work that tired. He's usually so disciplined.”

“Yea. I'm glad he seems to relax at least from time to time. Especially after this month, he deserves that much”, Freed agreed.

“True. I heard Cecile put almost all of the grading on his desk. Poor bastard.”

“The pains of being the new guy.”

Evergreen nodded. “I'm just glad it's not me any more.”

  



	11. Trust

Laxus was determined. They needed to have a conversation about rules in their relationship, and the sooner the better. He never wanted to feel that burning pain in his chest again.

He may find himself to be more flexible than he had imagined at first, but he had to know where Bickslow drew the line. There were a few points he wasn't willing to budge on. They were not going to have any other romantic partners. No way.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he steeled himself and opened the apartment door. Hearing a stream of water, he left his outdoor clothes behind and headed for the bathroom.

“Bickslow? We need to talk.”

Laxus's heart clamped together.

Bickslow was in the shower, but he wasn't washing. He had collapsed onto the ground, and he was shaking, his legs twitching and tears streaming down his face along with the warm water.

Hurrying into the cubicle, Laxus grabbed a hold of him.

“Bickslow?! What happened?!”

Shaking his head, Bickslow shrunk together even more. He was snivelling and gasping for air.

Laxus reached up to turn the water off, but Bickslow caught his arm before he reached the faucet. Pulling the hand down to himself instead, Bickslow pressed the warm open palm against his forehead and gave a whimper that resembled relief. Laxus didn't dare remove that comfort.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, not expecting any useful answer.

Bickslow shook his head lightly. He did however calm down. His breathing eased somewhat and his legs stretched out a little.

As soon as Bickslow let go of him, Laxus did turn the water off. He grabbed the biggest towel he could find and gathered Bickslow up in it. Carrying him out of the wet cubicle and setting him down on the dry tiled floor of the bathroom, Laxus pulled another fluffy towel around the shivering man.

“It's okay. You'll be fine. I'll take you to the hospital.”

“No. I'm fine”, Bickslow protested at once. His voice was hoarse and cracking, but he spoke as firmly as he could.

“You're not fine! I know you don't like hospitals, but you are nothing close to fine!”

“I am!”, Bickslow rebutted. “Really. I had a panic attack is all. I'm not dying or anything. I'm just…” He sighed. “Tired now.”

“This has happened before?”, Laxus asked and he half shrugged and half nodded. I was hard to see which one dominated past the shaking of his limbs.

“Kinda. Maybe not this bad. The point is, there's not much to be done about it now. I'm okay, really. Trust me.”

Laxus hugged him tight, relieved he wasn't seriously injured.

“Help me”, Bickslow requested and he nodded.

“How?”

“Dry me off. Help me lie down.”

Laxus softly wrapped the towel around a hand, an arm, a foot, a leg, and gently rubbed the water off before moving on to the next part. Finally pulling the towel over Bickslow's head, he saw how much the man swayed and gave up on the effort.

Picking his damp boyfriend up and carrying him to bed, Laxus made sure he was buried under thick blankets. Once he was convinced Bickslow was safe and warm, he changed out of his drenched clothes.

“I'm so tired”, Bickslow murmured from the bed.

“Then sleep”, Laxus prompted as he hung his clothes to dry, but Bickslow shook his head. His wet hair was ruffled up more against the pillow.

“I wanna tell you something.”

“Okay.”

Pulling some fresh slacks on, Laxus asked, “What is it?”

“It's… I guess why I…” Bickslow took a measured breath and motioned toward the bathroom.

Laxus sat down beside him on the sheets, stroking a hand through his hair. He was still cold to the touch. It wasn't a surprise, but no less worrying because of it.

“I'm here. I'm listening.”

“There is a reason I don't like 'adults'” Now Bickslow made quotation marks as well. He made the effort to raise his arms up and peek his hands out from under the blankets to show it before drawing them back into the comforting warmth.

“They veil you in this lie that you're safe, that they will do everything to make sure of it, but when push comes to shove, they don't do shit. They say they trust you, but only do up until someone that they like better lies. They say they listen, but they never remember a word you say. They say you're safe now, but then they are the ones hurting you. They say they love you unconditionally, but as soon as you fuck up, there are suddenly conditions. Adults are fucking liars. I'm sick of it. So I stopped trusting them.”

Laxus swallowed hard. There was so much pain in Bickslow's voice, and this was the short version.

“Who qualifies as 'adult'?”, he asked, mimicking the quotation marks.

“Parents, caretakers, doctors, social workers, guardians, coaches,… and teachers.” Bickslow enumerated, only hesitating at the very end.

“I wasn't all too thrilled when I found out you were one.”

“What happened?”, Laxus asked.

Bickslow turned a little so he could look up at Laxus and observe his reactions while he spoke. Knowing his partner, he expected anger, disgust, sadness, fear even, but no pity and no unwillingness to hear it all out. The absence of those two was all he needed.

“You know about my parents. My dad wasn't in the picture. Mom poisoned me. Child protective services took me, brought me to an orphanage. They said I'd be safe, that everything would work itself out, that it would be okay. No one could hurt me now.

I'm sharing a room with another kid who was sexually abused by his dad. And he's crying through the nights and I can't sleep and it is tearing at me too. I mean, I know it's not his fault, but I was a little kid too. I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't take the constant crying. So I told the adults, and they waved it off. They didn't care.

I started nodding off during the day because I couldn't sleep at night and then got disciplined for that. They wouldn't hear a word of what I had to say. Shit, that kid needed help, and they did their fucking best to ignore and deny it. Too much trouble I suppose. Too expensive.

One of the caretakers started beating us when we did something wrong. It was small, but painful. Like, she would smack a ruler or a shoe cane on our hands if we touched something or didn't wash our hands before lunch, or did something else wrong. She would slap us if we talked back.

One of the girls was really rowdy and foul mouthed. She lost her hearing on one side after she was slapped over the ear too hard. First then did that bitch loose her job. Like, something serious had to happen before anyone acted. No one ever listened to us. We were just problematic and in the way.

And don't get me started on the nurse. If you scratched your knee playing outside, I swear he intentionally made cleaning the cut hurt more than necessary to teach you a lesson. Fucking asshole.

When I was taken into a family for the first time, I thought I was finally done with all the bad stuff. I was going to be okay. I had learned at that point not to talk about the bad things that happen. People won't believe you. You'll get in trouble for lying. So I shut up and just indulged in being out of there.

Turns out the family didn't want a faggot for son. They seemed convinced I would turn their other son queer. Mark. He was really nice, but he wasn't allowed to talk to me any more after they found me watching a film with two guys in it and I said 'yea, I like boys'. They sent me back as soon as they could.

Mark came to visit me after school most days and we'd hang out. He's the one that got me started on smoking. Bad influence, I know, but he was nice. We were great friends for a good year before his fucking parents found out. They came to my school, fuming like devils. They cussed me out in front of everyone until a teacher came to help.

He told me to get inside, away from them, and when they finally left, he started asking me what it was about. I didn't want to tell him, since I wasn't out in school for obvious reasons, so his first fucking assumption is that it must be my fault. You know how orphans are, problematic and aggressive. Fucking twat. But I still didn't tell him why they were so adamant on Mark not seeing me. I knew what would happen if someone found out.

Despite all that, Mark kept meeting up with me. I showed him around the clubs that I had started exploring and we had so much fun. When his parents found out about that, they called the police. I'm not even kidding. They called the fucking police on their own son being in a club he's not supposed to be in.

So, blue suits come in, we run out the back together with a bunch of others. We outrun them, but Mark is scared senseless of going home now. His phone has like 50 missed calls. His parents are going full on crazy.

So I do something really, really fucking stupid. I walk with him to his house. His parents come out, fuming and screaming. I swear the father was about to knock me out. And Mark turns to me and fucking kissed me right on the lips in front of them! Can you believe that?! I am just loosing it at this point! I mean I start laughing so hard at the dumb faces his parents are making. This guy is straight. He just wanted to piss them off.

They can not handle it. Once they snap out of it, he tells me to run, and I do. I do however call the cops, because I don't know what the fuck they might do to him now.

The police arrives, but they are more interested in us being tipsy than the shit happening right in front of them. Mark's parents are screaming at him, waving around sandals and whatnot. But they don't care.

They take me into a car and drive me back to the orphanage where I get berated by the caretakers. Again, no reaction from the cops. They seem to think I get what I deserve. The second they leave, I get a whopping like never before, and they lock me in my room.

This was the first time, but it happened too many times to count. I started drinking, taking drugs, over-medicating. Fuck, maybe it was a call for help or whatever. That's what Mrs. Keaton said. I don't know. Either way, they just kept screaming, hitting, and locking me up.

When I got a new room mate, it got worse, because he was locked in there with me, and not all too happy about it. So he let it out on me. He's the one whose nose I broke. Which, _surprise_ , got me slapped around some more.

Honestly, I do feel bad about that, but it wasn't like I was planning on hurting him. It just happened. He freaked me out.

I was finally moved across town to another orphanage. Not that it was much better there. They got me with the note that I was too much to handle. So from day one, I was watched and kept in check and ordered around in some fucked up attempt to fix me.

The whole thing got its cherry on top when I was outed and my school 'mates' and the other kids at the orphanage all decided that I make for a great punching bag. The adults had already showed them how its done so…

And, _suddenly,_ I'm being bullied. I don't deserve this. I need to be protected. Fucking hypocrites! Disgusting fucking hypocrites!

At least it got me on the priority list, though, and I did get out of there after six months and countless fights.

The second family I got to was the goodydoers I told you about, with their devil kid. That pissy brat pushed my buttons until I snapped, and then got me kicked out. So it was back to broader abuse for a few weeks until I could flee to Fairy Tail.

Bless Mrs. Ericsson. She was the only one that was always on our side, who always fought our battles. Shit, she got half the staff fired just shortly before kicking the bucket for what happened to one of the girls. She was an angel.”

There were tears in Bickslow's eyes as he quieted. Laxus lay down beside him, cuddling close for mutual comfort. Continuously, he stroked through the slowly drying hair.

Closing his eyes and sneaking a hand out from under the covers, Bickslow got a hold of his boyfriend.

“You're not like that, though. Not at all. I know that. I trust you. I feel safe with you. I just… Sometimes I have a hard time saying things out loud. I never told anyone all of this before. You're the only one that knows that much about me. It's kinda scary.”

He reopened his eyes and found Laxus had closed his now. It was a futile effort to block out the pain.

“Pretty fucked up, huh?”, Bickslow mumbled.

Laxus nodded. “Yea. It is.”

“It's fucked up, and you deserve so much better.”

  



	12. Warrior

Laxus never did have his talk with Bickslow. It all felt so insignificant compared to everything he had learned. How could he bring up something as petty as jealousy when Bickslow was fighting so hard to deal with his past, with his present, and with them, with trust. Even though Laxus's feelings weren't a result of mistrust, he couldn't help but worry it might be interpreted as such. He didn't want to risk it.

To think Bickslow had so many terrible experiences with, as he put it, “adults”.

It was short of a miracle that he could trust Laxus at all. He trusted the teacher that shamelessly had sex with him even though he was a student. He trusted the teacher that took an unforgivable risk with his well-being.

Laxus felt woefully unqualified to be on the receiving end of that kind of faith. He understood Gajeel's anger now. Had it been the other way around, with him the student and Gajeel the teacher, he would likely have started a fistfight.

As things were now, Laxus simply tried his best to be there for Bickslow through his midterms stress. Once that was dealt with and some calm resettled in their lives, he could bring up the subject of rules again.

Ever since he motivated Bickslow to take his studies more seriously back at Fairy Tail, the man's motivation didn't seem to falter. The closer his exams drew, the more time Bickslow spent at the library after school.

As was the case today.

Reaching the library, Laxus spotted the student sitting by one of the wide windows, head low and a hand entwined in his messy hair as he frowned down at the textbook open in front of him. Laxus took a moment to enjoy the view before approaching.

“Hey. Ready to go?”

Bickslow shook his head, “Not yet.”

“What are you working on?”

“Math.”

“Need help?”, Laxus offered.

“No.”

Laxus picked up on the irritation in his voice. Was he stuck on something? Then why not simply as for help? How stubborn.

“Why don't you continue at home?”

Bickslow finally looked up. “Will you let me focus?!”

“Sorry?”, Laxus responded and Bickslow realised what he had said. The firm frown dropped from his face.

“No, I'm sorry. I don't…” He sighed, finally letting go of his own hair. “I'm just really stressed.”

Laxus rubbed a hand over his back. “Then take a break.”

“I can't”, Bickslow growled back, shrugging the warm hand off.

“Of course you can. In fact, you saying that you can't means you really need to.”

“Since when are you a shrink?”, Bickslow challenged.

He didn't want to be taken care of right now! He wanted to do this! On his own! He wanted to succeed with something, without having someone holding his hand!

“Don't let it out on me”, Laxus said sternly.

“I'm sorry. I just really need to understand this stuff, okay? It's important”, Bickslow sighed before turning his attention back to the book.

Or at least he tried to. Laxus didn't seem willing to let it go, though.

“Why?”, Laxus asked.

“What do you mean 'why'?”

“Why do you suddenly care so much?”

What the hell kind of question was that?! Bickslow could feel a dull pressure building on his forehead. He was tired and frustrated, on the verge of having a headache, and now Laxus had to ask something like that?!

“You're the one that keeps telling me I should!”

“Tone”, Laxus retorted sharply.

“Don't give me that. You're not my teacher any more, and thank fuck for that.”

Laxus took a step back. He could feel his heart beating harder in his chest. Bickslow was playing a dangerous game, bringing up their past. Laxus couldn't say he didn't deserve to hear it for the rest of his life, but it stung that Bickslow would use that kind of arguments.

“Bickslow, don't go there.”

Damit! He hadn't meant for his 'teacher voice' to sneak through, but it did, and Bickslow noticed as well. He clicked his tongue and fully enveloped his voice in defensive anger.

“Or what? Huh? It's not like you can give me detention any more.”

Laxus swallowed hard. He reminded himself Bickslow was locked in a defensive response. It was a reflex he had learned over the years. There was no malice, no intention to make an attack on his person, even if that was the end result.

They were once in that situation. He did give Bickslow detention. And it was completely unwarranted. He was the unfair adult. That truth was exactly what made Bickslow's attack such a low blow. It had substance. That was why it left Laxus clenching his jaw, why it brought out his fighting spirit as well. Not because he was angry, but because he was ashamed, scared even.

Forcing himself to take a measured breath, to relax his face, and to speak in a steady voice, Laxus nodded, “You're right. I'm not your teacher. I'm your boyfriend, and as such it scares the crap out of me when you disregard me like that. Try not to use me as your verbal punching bag.”

Realising what he had said, how spiteful his words had truly been, Bickslow stopped dead. His eyes widened.

“I am so sorry!”

Shame rolled over him. He could see just how badly hurt Laxus was. He could see it shining in the orange eyes, almost moist.

“I'm sorry. Really. Shit! I didn't mean that. I'm just tired and I snapped. Fuck, that is no excuse.”

“It's okay”, Laxus nodded.

“No it's not.”

“For now, it is”, Laxus stated, putting a hand back on Bickslow's shoulder.

While it was good to know Bickslow felt bad for hurting him, he didn't want to see Bickslow feeling guilty either.

“Lets just say I have a favour to cash in later, okay?”

Bickslow nodded. He just hoped he would be able to make up for this. Without knowing what Laxus would ask of him, he determined he would do his best when the time came.

“Come on”, Laxus offered softly and he began packing his bag.

  


Once they were sitting in the car, Laxus hesitated to start the engine.

“You never answered my question. Why do you care so much all of a sudden?”

Bickslow shrugged, “Beats me.”

Laxus kept watching him, waiting for him to answer properly. Of course he knew.

“I just don't want to disappoint you.”

“I don't expect anything from you”, Laxus said at once.

He shook his head.

“No, not like that. What I mean is, I don't care if you finish school with A's or D's, just as long as you do. And you can take your time. There is no hurry. If you have to retake this last year three times, then so be it. Important is that you're okay.”

Bickslow swallowed hard. Why did Laxus have to keep saying that?! He didn't expect anything? What kind of pepp talk was that?! Laxus never did that before! Why was he being so careful? It was pissing Bickslow off!

“Bickslow, really, I just care about you being okay”, Laxus repeated and he snapped back.

“Well, I'm not!”

“I know. And that's okay too”, Laxus nodded. “But you won't get better by doing this. Why do you push yourself so hard?”

Avoiding Laxus's eyes, Bickslow shrugged.

When again Laxus didn't let himself be fooled, he admitted, “I feel like I owe it to you.”

“You don't owe me anything.”

“I know that. I mean, I know that in my head.” Bickslow tapped his forehead.

Bringing his hand down over his heart, he balled it to a fist. “But I can't grasp it.”

Looking up, he searched Laxus for a sign of recognition, of understanding. He was unsure if there was any, so he kept explaining.

“I feel like if I don't excel this last year, if I don't live up to the potential that you see in me, that it'll kill me.”

Seeing pain in Laxus's eyes at his words, he turned away to look out the window instead.

“You've always believed in me, despite everything, and I feel like I have to catch up, like I have to show you it was worth it. I've spent years doing as little as I can to get by, making up excuses, and…”

A tear fought it's way down his cheek.

“I really want you to be right! I want to believe that I can be so much more. But it turns out I'm not.”

He could feel Laxus lean in, feel the warm hand seek out his shoulder again.

“Bickslow, you are. You are everything. And it was definitively worth it. It will always be worth it.”

Laxus took a deep breath and placed a hand under Bickslow's chin.

“Intelligence, talent, looks, you have them all.”

He tilted Bickslow's chin up to meet his eyes.

“But that means exactly shit. That isn't what I see when I say things like that to you. What I see is a warrior. I see someone that despite everything, despite the whole bloody world throwing stones in his path at every turn, still keeps going. When you were beaten down, literally, you got back up. When you were bullied, you found a smart solution that enabled you to move on past it. When you were suicidal, you admitted that and sought help.”

“No I didn't”, Bickslow cut him off.

“Gajeel said you were seeing a psychiatrists at the time.”

“Yea, because I was forced to.”

“But you talked, didn't you? You did take the help, right? And you're not being forced now. Yet you're fighting.”

“I guess.”

Laxus let go of him and the air suddenly felt awfully cold. Bickslow wanted to curl together and climb into Laxus's embrace, but again there was the other half of him screaming it's protest. He didn't want to be pitied! And right now he felt pitiful.

Laxus huffed a laugh, a tiny smile ghosting over his lips.

“When I was seventeen, I started smoking cigars because I thought it was cool. I got addicted to them and I was ashamed of it. I tried to quit three times on my own without success. I felt like a complete fucking idiot. I know that isn't nearly the same thing, but my point is, even with something that petty, I couldn't face it. You on the other hand have faced adversity most couldn't even imagine.

You are so much more than I deserve. You are a warrior. The warrior. You are the strongest, most incredible person I know. And what's more, through all of this, you've been nothing but kind and loving toward your surroundings. You never hurt anyone on purpose. Shit, I would understand if you did.

You always apologise for your mistakes. I could never do that. I barely can now. You are so honest and… perfect. I don't know how you do it. And I love you for it. So, so much. You're truly inspirational.”

Bickslow sat silent, staring back at him wide eyed.

“So… you won't be disappointed if I drop out?”

Laxus took a deep breath.

“No. I would be disappointed if you gave up.”

Bickslow frowned at him.

“You can drop out and take it in your own time. I can help you study, slowly and calmly, and then you can take the exam.”

“You'd do that for me? Work after hours just because I'm too lazy to go to school?”, Bickslow asked in surprise.

“You're not lazy”, Laxus rebutted. “Troubled, and therefore exhausted, but never lazy. And yes, I would love to do that for you. So if you really feel like you can't stay in school, like it makes you feel worse, then drop out. I'll catch you, I promise. I'm here for you.”

Bickslow looked down at his hands, and the strap of his backpack which was clutched between them. How did he do that? How did Laxus lift the weight of the world off his shoulders with just a few words?

“Do you wanna get some ice-cream?”

Now it was Laxus's turn to frown. “What?”

“It always helps me calm down. I want some. Do you mind?”, Bickslow wondered and he smiled.

“No. That sound nice. Let's do that.”

  



	13. Make Out Hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rises from the ashes of old exam prep papers and internship notes* I am aliiiiive!   
> Back to this story then. I made some changes. The gist is that what used to be chapter 2 is gone along with a bunch of details that aren't going to be relevant moving forward.

As promised, Laxus made a stop at one of the nearby cafés to eat ice-cream. While Laxus wasn't a fan, the cold treat seemed to calm Bickslow at least. It didn't do much to ease the awkward air hanging between the pair after their fight, however. It was so intense, Laxus could swear everyone in a ten meter radius felt it.

The tension got even worse once they were back in the car. The chatter of other couples, the scurrying of feet walking by, and the occasional clinking of teaspoons in coffee cups was gone, leaving only the running engine and the soar of traffic around them.

Laxus finally reached for the radio to push some of the silence out. Glad he had a CD sitting in the player, he put it on instead of awkwardly flicking through the radio channels.

With the first chord of steel strings, their tension shattered into a million pieces them, and when smoky voices joined in, it became easier to breathe.

Bickslow smiled to himself. Both did they know exactly what the other was thinking. That night. That concert. That stage. Their almost second mistake. Or perhaps it was their second moment of clarity.

“Take a right here.”

Laxus frowned at the crossing ahead.

“Why? I thought we were going home.”

“Just do it”, Bickslow smiled and Laxus turned in to the side road.

Bickslow guided him around a few corners and past one of the gardens. At the end of the fence, a forest stretched out and one lonely road lead them to a deserted parking lot.

“What is this place?”, Laxus wondered.

“The open part of the park. They never built the back entrance.”

“Okay? While that technically is a viable answer, I don't feel like my question has in fact been answered.”

“Gyha. It's a make out hill. I think it breaks some kind of teenage law to show this to you, but whatever.”

“Then why did you?”

Bickslow didn't answer. Instead, he unfastened his seatbelt and climbed into the back of the car. He beckoning Laxus after with a wide grin.

Chuckling, Laxus got out of the car the easy way.

The air was much cooler here than among the houses. He looked around himself. It was easy to see why the parking lot would be a popular hookup spot, mainly because of the lack of sight. But for the light from the car, it was completely dark around them. There were no street lanterns, no houses, and the clouds shielded them from the moon tonight. Laxus couldn't determine how big the parking lot really was. The trees melted together with the asphalt in one deep black band. If there was anyone else here, they remained hidden. Entering the back of the car, he closed the door behind himself to shut the world out once more.

Bickslow climbed into his lap at once. Entwining his hands in the blond hair, he leaned in and kissed Laxus firmly. Chuckling, he hummed the lyrics against Laxus's cheek.

“A leg either side  
Of my motorcycle seat”

Kissing Laxus again, he rolled his hips down. Their tongues met, and Bickslow closed his eyes. Pulling back a little, he licked over Laxus's lips. Pulling away a tad more, he sang again.

“Never had a record  
Never had a hit  
Ooh baby, you didn't mind a bit”

While Laxus loved hearing Bickslow sing, he preferred to feel the tender lips on his own. Tugging Bickslow into the kiss again, he gave a throaty groan. He ran his hands down Bickslow's sides and let them settle on that perfect ass. Longing burned through his veins. Why was it that he needed Bickslow so much more when it got complicated? That couldn't be healthy.

Easing back, he let his eyes wander down Bickslow's form. He was so fucking gorgeous. Looking back up, he saw that the dark red eyes were on him in turn now, and Bickslow was smirking confidently.

Taking one of Laxus's hands in his own, Bickslow guided it between them and urged his hips forward. He adored the look on Laxus's face. Surprised, hungry, a perfect storm.

Licking his lips, Laxus pressed his palm against the erection bulging Bickslow's trousers. He could feel himself getting excited as well, but they were technically in public. What if someone came by? His heart was beating hard.

“Why are we doing this here?”

A playful glint shimmered in Bickslow's eyes.

“Because we are desperate teenagers. We can hardly do it in the dorms. The walls are way too thin. And your granddad is home, so we can't do it in your room either. But after this day, this perfect date, we can't wait.”

“A date, huh?”, Laxus chuckled.

“Mhm. A really nice one. Dinner and a film, ice-cream afterwards. It was a very romantic film, about two boys falling in love and running away together. And now I just can't keep my hands of you.”

Running his hands through Laxus's hair again, Bickslow stole another kiss.

“Sounds exciting”, Laxus mused. Tilting his head, he placed a kiss on Bickslow's neck in return.

“It's our first time”, Bickslow purred and he laughed.

“Oh? First for the two of us, or the very first?”

“Both.”

“I'm getting a little nervous”, Laxus admitted.

“Don't worry Baby. No one will find us here.”

Laxus looked out of the windows into the dark. He couldn't see a thing, but that hardly guaranteed their privacy. In fact, if this was a popular spot, some cops were most likely aware of it and might check by when they aren't needed elsewhere. For now it was quiet, though, and Bickslow was a tempting offer.

Seeing the hesitating glances, Bickslow reached out to turn the interior light off and then kissed Laxus in the dark until their eyes adjusted. Laxus returned it by mouthing over his neck again.

Bickslow's pulse was fast and his breathing hard. It was wrong, and it was perfect. The same naughty attraction that they enjoyed in the woods in Hargeon burned in his chest. And it burned in Laxus's. He wanted to ruin Bickslow, mark him and claim him as his own even though he knew he should keep his hands to himself right now.

Running his fingers under the fine t-shirt Bickslow had begun wearing to school, he tugged it up to expose more of the man's beautiful body. Bad idea. Bickslow was rock hard and had made himself comfortable. The tip of his cock peaked out from his trousers, and Laxus could see enough to settle the debate in his head.

Taking a firm hold of his boyfriend, he turned to the side and eased Bickslow onto his back on the seats. Leaning over him, Laxus licked over the exposed chest. Teasing with hot breaths and light nips of his teeth, he made sure both Bickslow's nipples were perky before tugging the t-shirt up as far as it would go. He could feel Bickslow's hands reaching down for his belt, but that wasn't the plan.

That day in the woods etched into his mind, Laxus wanted to repeat it. Taking a hold of Bickslow's wrists and pinning them down, he began sucking on the hot skin, creating red marks all over the delicious upper body and down to the well trained hips. By the time he let Bickslow go and reached for the black trousers, Bickslow was keening.

Freeing the erection entirely, Laxus dipped his head, giving it a broad lick from the base all the way to the tip, and Bickslow gasped aloud, hands finding the blond hair once more.

“Oh fuck.”

“Feeling good?”, Laxus teased and he nodded weakly.

“Fuck yes. So good. I love you.”

“I love you too”, Laxus whispered against the soft skin and Bickslow's hips left the seat, accompanied by a needy groan.

“You got the lips to make a strong man weak”

“Wrong song”, Laxus teased before darting his tongue out again.

“Gyha ~ha! Oh...”

“I've been wanting to do this for a long time”, Laxus murmured. He could feel moisture gathering at the very tip of Bickslow's cock.

“Yea?”

Bickslow's voice was breathy, coated with impatience, but there was also a hint curiosity, a willingness to drag this out.

“Yea. Ever since I saw you on stage for the first time. You sung like an angel. And the way you kept craning your neck, moving your hips… You glowed. And all I could think was, 'I want him'”, Laxus improvised.

He stroked up to hear Bickslow moan and buy himself some time.

“And when you kissed me that night in the park, I knew, 'I don't just want him. I love him.'”

Bickslow huffed a laugh. That was a lovely image.

“Wanna know when I fell for you?”, he prompted.

“When?”

“When you were tutoring me in the library. The look on your face when you explained maths to me. You really love the subject, don't you? I love that you're such a nerd. I could barely focus, 'cause you were so cute.”

“Is that why you invited me to the concert?”, Laxus asked, firming his hold, and Bickslow groaned as he nodded.

“Yea. I wanted to impress you”, he managed.

“It worked.”

“I'm glad ~ha!”

Laxus wrapped his lips around him, and Bickslow cursed that he had turned the lights off. He wanted to see in detail what he now could only guess. The look on Laxus's face as he focused on the task, sucking his cock as though he actually enjoyed the taste. Perhaps a strain of saliva dribbling down his chin as he did his best to please.

Having a lively imagination and more than enough memories to draw from for an accurate picture, Bickslow closed his eyes. Making sure he wasn't pulling at the blond hair, and instead digging his fingers into the seats, he moaned his pleasure aloud.

A hand sneaked up to his chest, caressing the fresh hickeys, and he couldn't help but thrust his hips up ever so little. He knew Laxus was in possession of a healthy gag reflex and didn't want to inconvenience him, but it was surprising and damn sexy that Laxus barely reacted. Daring it again, Bickslow noticed the hand wrapped around his cock tightening its hold further. Laxus was taking precautions and allowing for his movements. Bickslow was inclined to pinch himself.

Rolling his hips up freely, he seriously considered reaching for the light switch embedded in the roof, but ultimately he wasn't willing to interrupt the perfect feeling engulfing him for the sake of visuals.

“Fuck, Laxus. A little more.”

Laxus gave a hum of agreement, and stayed right where he was, allowing Bickslow to fuck up into his fist, to spill over his fingers and tongue.

Laxus pulled back quickly, reaching for the tissues in the seat pocket. The taste of cum really was awful. He doubted he would ever learn to like, not to speak of love it. That didn't stop him from loving the sights and sounds offered to him by Bickslow when he used his mouth, though. That part of it was intoxicating.

A calm settled around them in the aftermath. Laxus could hear his boyfriend's laboured breathing, see his chest raising and falling. That too was intoxicating.

Once Bickslow had caught his breath, Laxus carefully placed himself atop the man to cuddle. It was inevitable that Bickslow was squished between him and the seats, but he at least avoided to let the entirety of his weight rest on the other.

Caressing over Bickslow's cheeks, Laxus could feel how hot his skin was, and this close, he could see Bickslow's soft smile in the dim light.

“This was awesome”, Bickslow mumbled.

“Yea. Makes me think back”, Laxus whispered.

“Oh? How was your first time?”

Laxus shrugged. “It wasn't all that to be honest. Nothing close to this.”

“Tell me.”

“There was this girl that I used to study with and she asked if we could study at my place for once. I agreed, thinking nothing of it. Once at home, she kissed me. I was kind of confused, but kissed back because it felt nice. Very nice.”

Bickslow chuckled.

“We lie down on the bed and make out. She really pushes it. She climbs atop me, starts pulling my t-shirt up. I thought about stopping her, because I don't really like women that way. I didn't want to lead her on. But I was horny at that point so I figured, 'Why not? She seems eager'.

We have sex and she suddenly becomes passive. She just kinda lays there, but she is telling me to keep going, so I do. Afterwards she doesn't stay long. She makes up an excuse and leaves. The next day, I find her at school and it turns out she has told everyone about our evening. She was just looking to pop the cherry.”

“That doesn't sound too bad.”

“I guess. But looking back, I wouldn't have done it”, Laxus sighed.

“Why not?”

“Because it was super awkward, and I kinda felt like she was using me. If she had been upfront about it, I might not have minded, but this way it was kinda weird.”

Shifting uncomfortably, Laxus added, “I guess I'm no better myself, but still.”

Bickslow frowned, “What do you mean?”

“Mirajane. I wasn't exactly honest with her.”

“How could you have been?”

“I could at least not have lied.”

“Fair enough”, Bickslow agreed.

Laxus rubbed his thumb over the soft cheek again.

“That's one of the things I love so much about you. You're better than that. You're honest, and kind, and compassionate. I feel safe with you. More than with anyone else. You make me a better person.”

“I'm gonna blush”, Bickslow joked.

“You already are. I can feel how hot you are.”

And he could feel Bickslow's cheeks moving as a broad smirk spread over his face at the comment.

“What about you?”, Laxus asked.

“My first time was… I mean it was good, but also really shitty.”

Laxus frowned at him. Bickslow didn't need to see it to know.

“I went to a club, as usual. For the first time, someone actually paid attention to me. He danced with me, real close, and I was loosing my damn mind. It was so hot, and he was so beautiful, and just… wow.

So we go to his house. He has the whole attic to himself as his room. He has like three bean bags, a fuckton of clothes and whatnot. There's even a skylight and you can see the stars. It's crazy.

We fuck. It was amazing. I mean, we did it on the bed, on the floor, against the wall. We were sweaty and loud, and I was loving it, and completely exhausted by the end of it. After that, we cuddle together on the bed, under the starry sky, and I am honestly in love. Love at first fuck.”

Laxus laughed at that.

“What? It was. Just like it was with you.”

“It was with me?”

“Yea. I guess? That first fuck… Well, maybe it was the morning after, in the shower. Point being, I'm only a romantic when there is sex involved. Sue me”, Bickslow giggled.

“What was shitty about it?”, Laxus wondered.

“In the morning, I wake up to Nathan's father screaming downstairs. He was completely out of it. He was shouting all kinds of stuff. That his son was a whore, a puff, a fucking faggot and should burn in hell. I was so fucking scared. I thought, 'If he finds me here, I'm dead'.

Nathan wakes up too and just kinda lays there, hearing it all. He's not scared as far as I can tell, just… tired I guess? And finally the screaming stops and he turns to me and smiles. Like it's funny or something. And he says good morning and kisses me. I am so confused at this point, and still scared senseless, so I get up.

Once his dad is off to work, we go downstairs and his mom turned out to be real nice. She made us breakfast and everything before I left. She had this forceful smile on her lips. You know, the kind people have when they try to pretend everything is okay.”

“What the hell”, was the only thing Laxus could say.

“Exactly.”

“Did you see him again?”

“Yea. We actually dated for a while. He was my first big love. But after that experience I didn't wanna go back to his so we found a make out hill instead”, Bickslow chuckled. “It was actually a hill, and a little more romantic clearing in the woods and less spooky parking lot.”

“You were sixteen already? Or he was?”, Laxus asked and Bickslow shook his head.

“Nah, we didn't have a car. We fucked in the bushes, a bit away.”

“Pfft. Aha, okay. That's one way to go about it I suppose.”

“Gyha. What else were we supposed to do?”

Laxus shrugged. He found it hard to imagine having sex in the woods, before remembering that he had done exactly that, and with Bickslow no less.

Two hours ago they were fighting, and now everything was okay again. No, it was perfect again. Their love life was a roller coaster. At least it would never get dull.

Laxus stroked through the black and blue hair mindlessly until Bickslow fell asleep. He looked so peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs referenced:   
> AC/DC – Little Lover  
> AC/DC – Go Down


	14. Favour

Bickslow was momentarily disoriented. He could have sworn he fell asleep in the car, but now he was at home, in their bed. It must have been Laxus's doing. Stretching leisurely, he noticed his trousers were missing. A smile crept over his face.

Getting up, Bickslow found his boyfriend sitting on the couch. It seemed Laxus was done with his work already. The laptop sat closed on the desk. Finally those hell weeks were over.

Bickslow checked the time. He must have been sleeping for over ten hours. What the hell? Shrugging it off, he flopped down beside his boyfriend and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Did you really carry me inside and undress me?”, Bickslow teased and Laxus nodded a little.

“Cute.”

Laxus didn't protest.

“Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

“I think I wanna cash in my favour.”

It took Bickslow a second to remember what Laxus meant, and once he did, he felt a fresh wave of shame wash over him. Sitting up properly, he braced himself. What kind of favour would Laxus ask of him? He already did most of the housework.

“Okay. What do you want?”

“It is a kind of favour that you can say no to. And, really, if you're not completely and entirely on board with it, tell me. It's more of a suggestion”, Laxus warned.

“Now I'm really curious.”

“Remember when you asked me if I had ever been in a threesome?”

Bickslow grinned. “You wanna do that?”

“I'm curious”, Laxus nodded. “And, as I said the first night, I want to see you moan around another cock while I fuck you.”

Pleasantly surprised by the eager words, Bickslow chuckled. “I like the sound of that.”

“Yea?”

“Hell yea. I am definitely on board with that. Are you thinking today?”

“It is Saturday. We can go out and maybe find someone.”

“Let's do it”, Bickslow agreed happily.

  


Walking down to the night club where they 'first met', the pair planted themselves by the bar and scoured the dance floor.

Bickslow would have liked to get up and enjoyed the evening for a while, dancing for his boyfriend rather than sitting beside him at the bar. It was especially boring now that he couldn't drink, but he had a feeling Laxus could use the company. Laxus had been tapping his foot ever since he admitted to being curious about this sort of thing.

Resorting to scoping the room from his seat instead, Bickslow spotted someone familiar in the crowd.

“What about him?”

Laxus looked over at the man Bickslow was pointing out. He was tall, a little older than them, muscular, and had neatly styled short brown hair.

“He's pretty”, Laxus agreed.

“Yea? You don't have a thing for guys like me then?”, Bickslow teased and Laxus laughed aloud.

“Not really”, he teased back.

“I guess I like different types”, he added, and Bickslow nodded back with a bright smile. Good to know, and lucky for him. He wouldn't be half as excited about finding a third person that was as young and cheeky looking as him. He would much rather have two strong men in bed with him.

“Okay. I'll be right back then”, he declared.

“Just like that?”, Laxus asked in surprise and he raised an eyebrow.

“Yea? How else?”

“I don't know.”

Placing a hand on Laxus's, Bickslow asked, “Laxus, are you nervous?”

“A little, yea.”

“Don't worry. I'll be there. That's kind of the point, isn't it?”, Bickslow teased.

“Sure, yea. It's fine. Just, you go do that and I'll just stay here, right?”

“Right.”

Finding Laxus's insecurity adorable, Bickslow headed into the crowd. Making his way over to the brown haired man, he smoothly transitioned into dance. After catching the man's attention, he leaned in to make sure he would be heard.

“Hey Mr. Tour Guide”

The man gave a chuckle, slightly shaking his head. He clearly didn't remember their fleeting exchange. In his defence, it was several moths ago.

“I'm new to Crocus and you offered me a tour”, Bickslow reminded.

“Did you take it?”

Bickslow shook his head, “I had a boyfriend.”

“And now you've ditched him?”

“No, but we're willing to share.”

“Oh?”

The man stopped in his tracks as the words sunk in through the loud turmoil around them.

“Oooh, you're… okay. Who is it?”, he asked.

Bickslow extended a finger toward Laxus, who was still sitting at the bar with an unusually awkward air about himself.

The brown haired man whistled. “Not bad. I'm game.”

“I thought you might be”, Bickslow teased and lead on back to his waiting boyfriend.

Laxus tensed even further when the two approached. Actively reminding himself to stop tapping his foot, he put on his best poker face. It wasn't much to brag about.

The brown haired man stuck a hand out, introducing himself as Markus.

“What do you guys have in mind then?”, he wondered.

Laxus sought for the right words. He didn't want to sound impolite, but he also wanted to be clear about his intentions. Bickslow eventually saved him from the awkwardness.

“I wanna suck you off while Laxus fucks me”, he simply stated and Markus nodded happily.

“I'm not saying no to a blowjob. It is still a little early to leave, though, wouldn't you say?”

“I'll make it worth your time”, Bickslow flirted and Markus leaned in, flashing a confident grin.

“Hehe. I'll hold you to that.”

Walking out, they squeezed past people heading in the opposite direction.

“Like I said. Way too early”, Markus commented.

“More time for sex”, Bickslow retorted and the man laughed heartedly.

“Good point.”

Laxus felt a little awkward walking in front of the two men he was going to be sleeping with tonight. Bickslow was only being his usual friendly self, but Laxus felt like the third wheel all of a sudden.

His heart was beating double time and he couldn't say if he was relieved or mortified to arrive in their apartment.

As soon as the door had closed behind them, Bickslow chucked his shoes off and headed for the bathroom. Making halt just before he disappeared from view, he turned around and gave a playful smirk.

“Talk amongst yourselves. I won't be long.”

Mortified, Laxus determined.

Now that he was alone with Markus, he was definitely not relieved any more. The brown haired man seemed a lot more relaxed in the situation. Instead of freezing in place, he went to explore their apartment.

“So… you guys do this a lot?”

Laxus shook his head. “First time.”

“What an honour”, Markus joked.

Spotting a big coat draped over the couch, he asked, “Yours?”

“Yea”, Laxus confirmed.

“You both live here then?”

“Yea.”

“Committed”, Markus teased.

“Yea.”

Laxus was starting to feel pretty stupid saying 'yea' to everything.

Finally turning back to him, Markus suggested, “Wanna get started?”

“I, uh, don't know about that.”

Laxus cringed at his own awkwardness, but Markus shrugged it off.

“It's okay. We can wait.”

Reaching for typical polite hostlike things to say, Laxus offered, “Would you like something to drink?”

“Vodka?”

“We don't have any alcohol.”

Mark raised his eyebrows. “None?”

Laxus shook his head.

“Then I'm good. Thanks.”

Markus let his eyes wander over the living room again, inspecting the shelves and desks to get an idea of just whom he had agreed to follow home.

“High school mathematics?”, he read the spine of a book.

“I'm a teacher.”

“Is that how you met him?”, Markus joked and Laxus forced a chuckle.

He was sure he was sweating now.

Finally Bickslow returned. Draped in only a towel, he leaned against the door frame.

“Wow. You two really know how to make a moment awkward, don't you?”

Markus turned around with a barking laugh. “Raw talent!”

Bickslow shook his head. “I was expecting you two to be at least naked by now.”

“Didn't wanna spoil the fun”, Markus retorted.

He walked over to the nearly naked beauty and without hesitation ran a finger over some of the hickeys dotting Bickslow's chest and stomach.

“You're sure thoroughly covered”, he commented.

Bickslow pulled him close and locked their lips before backing into the bedroom.

Laxus slowly strolled after the two men, watching as their kissing quickly evolved into heated making out.

Bickslow pushed Markus's shirt up and he tugged it off, revealing a perfectly chiselled stomach. He clearly not only worked out but also watched what he ate. Bickslow ran his hands down over the abs and took a hold of Markus's belt. Unbuckling it, he kissed the man again.

Laxus was torn between admiring the scene and being jealous of it.

He watched Bickslow urge the brown haired stranger out of his trousers and underwear before shedding his towel and pushing Markus down on their bed. Climbing after, Bickslow straddled the firm hips and finally paused. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled at Laxus.

“Come on. You're supposed to participate, not watch. Unless you changed your mind?”

Markus gave him a questioning look as well.

Laxus hesitated. Had he changed his mind? Right now he didn't like what was happening a whole lot, but right now he wasn't really doing anything either. He was curious, and a similar chance would likely not come again soon. He could always interrupt later if it didn't get better. Deciding to give it a try, he walked over to the bed and kissed his boyfriend.

Bickslow hummed happily. Tugging at the lilac shirt, he teased, “You're way overdressed.”

Taking the cue, Laxus noted how Markus eyed him from the bed as he unbuttoned his shirt. Flexing his arms unnecessary in the process, Laxus stripped down and joined them on the sheets. His heart was still pounding in his ears.

Seeing the tension in his boyfriend, Bickslow shoved him onto his back and crawled over him instead. Part of him wanted to tease and poke fun at Laxus's hesitance after having instigated all of this, but he knew better.

“I love you”, he whispered against Laxus's ear before nipping at the sensitive spot on his neck.

Reaching down, he wrapped a hand around Laxus's cock, stroking him until he grew hard while quietly repeating those words until Laxus relaxed under him.

Laxus almost forgot that they weren't alone for a moment. The loving whispers in his ear and the warmth of Bickslow's skin against his own eased his mind. It was first when Bickslow moved down on the bed that the stranger came back into view.

Markus scooted over to him and gave him a kiss. He smelled like a bar, Laxus noted. Like strong alcohol and cigarettes. Laxus had never minded before, but compared to the scent of Bickslow, it wasn't very pleasant.

Bickslow settled between his boyfriend's strong legs and watched as Laxus kissed their lay. Leaning down, he waited until Markus had a hand behind Laxus's head before taking Laxus's length into his mouth. Laxus gasped against Markus's lips and Bickslow revelled in his victory. Feasting on the picture of Laxus closing his eyes in another kiss, cheeks reddening, Bickslow dipped his head.

Laxus took the excuse to turn away from the brown haired man, instead watching his beautiful lover relax his throat and engulf all of him.

“Fuck”, Laxus muttered.

Markus sat up and teased, “I thought I was the one supposed to get a blowjob.”

“Wait your turn”, Bickslow retorted before dragging his tongue along the entire lenght of the erection.

Leaning back against the headboard, Markus waited, and watched. Stroking himself leisurely to the performance, he was convinced he had made the right choice to end his night early for these two. Bickslow was proficient in the use of his tongue, swirling it around the tip and flicking it over the now glistening glans. His gruff looking blond boyfriend sure as hell enjoyed it.

Slowly, the tension left the blonde's broad shoulders, and he entwined a hand in Bickslow's black and blue hair.

Urging Bickslow off, Laxus warned, “I won't last if you keep that up.”

Smiling brightly, Bickslow backed away and turned his attention to Markus instead. Running his hands up that set of firm thighs, he saw tension returning to Laxus's body in an instant. He really was nervous about all of this, wasn't he? He wasn't complaining, though. At least not yet.

“Get the lube”, Bickslow prompted and Laxus nodded.

Reaching for the bedside table, he grabbed the bottle and turned back to find Bickslow kissing up the other man's erection. Feeling a new pang of jealousy in his chest, Laxus considered stopping the entire thing, but there was another part of him that absolutely loved the sight. It was incredibly sexy to see his boyfriend giving head to someone else. Laxus felt a sense of pride when Markus's jaw fell slack. That was his lover, his boyfriend. Bickslow was incredible, and he was all Laxus's.

Bickslow glanced up to met his eyes and frowned.

“What?”

“What 'what'?”, Laxus asked back.

“What's with that look?”, Bickslow asked and he shrugged.

“You're amazing.”

Bickslow blushed a little. Averting his eyes momentarily, he smiled over both ears.

“Just fuck me already.”

Laxus didn't need to be told twice. Slicking his fingers, he moved behind his boyfriend and Bickslow got up on his knees, making sure his oral performance was well visible in the mirror for Laxus to enjoy.

Working his fingers into Bickslow's body while watching the reflection, Laxus didn't go easy on him. He circled his fingers against Bickslow's prostate, causing him to groan and loose focus. Every time Bickslow found his pace, he disrupted it again, and Bickslow shot him the most delicious, playful glare.

Markus didn't complain about the interruptions. Quite to the contrary. He arched his back in arousal with each shiver that went up Bickslow's spine. The ferocious orange eyes keeping watch over exactly what was happening were just a little intimidating, but the frustrated dark red eyes meeting them in the mirror were enthralling.

When Bickslow finally didn't let himself be interrupted any more, Laxus stroked the rest of the lube over his cock and lined up.

He could only imagine how complicated it might be to give anything resembling a decent blowjob while being pushed forward over and over. In order to avoid such disruptions, he very slowly ground into Bickslow.

He wanted Markus to know exactly how good his boyfriend was at this, just what sort of delight it was Laxus got on a daily basis. He wanted to show Bickslow off, dangle him in front of Markus only to snatch him right back and claim his beautiful body for himself.

Reaching around Bickslow's waist, he stroked Bickslow's cock in time with his tender thrusts, all the wile watching their reflection in the mirror.

Bickslow did his best to perform despite the pleasure building in his body due to Laxus's movement, but eventually he had to pull up for air. Resting his head on Markus's lap, he kept stroking the man while he moaned aloud.

“Harder.”

Laxus firmed his grip around the erection and placed his other hand on Bickslow's hip, keeping him in place as he thrust forward harshly. Bickslow grabbed a hold of the sheets.

“Fuck! Yes.”

Between two beautiful men, adored and wanted by both, it didn't take much more to make Bickslow come. Shuddering, he spilled over Laxus's hand.

Taking two deep breaths, Bickslow glanced up. Markus was watching him wide eyed, pupils dilated, and lips parted. Delicious.

He looked to the reflection. Laxus stroked the cum off on the sheets in favour of quickly getting his hands back on Bickslow's skin. He was eager. Lovely.

Bickslow dipped his head again, taking Markus back in and savouring the gasp he was awarded. When Laxus began moving again as well, he closed his eyes. Feeling the hard member inside himself was a bit too much right after his orgasm, but he waited it out until it felt great again.

“Shit. I'm close”, Markus warned and he pulled up. Instead kissing the brown haired man, he stroked down the wet hard cock with intent. Markus wrapped his arms around Bickslow's shoulders as he balanced along the edge. Craning his neck toward the ceiling, he groaned loudly as he fell.

Smirking, Bickslow waited for their lay to come back to his senses and let go of him before taking a hold of the headboard on either side of his head and shooting Laxus a sultry look over his shoulder.

“Gods, you are so fucking beautiful”, Laxus growled.

Taking a hold of Bickslow's sides, he pulled the black and blue haired man tightly against himself and once more firmed his approach. Now hunting his release as well, he didn't hold back.

Bickslow arched his back in an effort to stay in place, meet him for every thrust, but he still ended up in Markus's embrace.

Seeing the unfamiliar arms wrapped around his boyfriend, Laxus leaned in and created one big and dark hickey on Bickslow's neck before letting himself reach his peak and spill inside his perfect lover.

  



	15. Good Morning

Come morning, Laxus was first to wake up.

Glad he was at the edge of the bed, he carefully got up. Bickslow was a deep sleeper. He just gave a slight hum as Laxus's weight left the mattress. Markus on the other hand opened an eye. Laxus pressed a finger against his lips to signal silence and Markus nodded. He too sighed and then relaxed back, one arm slung over the black and blue haired man that lay sprawled out in the middle of the bed.

Laxus watched them for a while. It was peculiar. Yesterday he felt jealous and worried. Today the cuddling pair was a picture of serenity he could appreciate. Maybe he really did worry for a second that Bickslow might prefer someone else, and maybe he understood now that if Bickslow ever did, it wouldn’t be this guy. Or maybe he just felt a little left out, but it was over now. Shaking his head, Laxus left the room.

  


When Bickslow woke, he found the brown haired man from last night cuddled down beside him. Smiling at the adorable relaxed face, he slowly eased out of bed without waking him. Pulling slacks on, he joined his boyfriend in the living room.

“Markus is fun”, he smiled.

Laxus didn't say anything.

“You don't agree?”, Bickslow asked.

“Yea. Sure.”

Bickslow took a measured breath. Laxus didn’t regret last night, did he? That would be terrible. Bickslow knew he had pushed and pulled a little when Laxus tensed up, but he did so because he thought Laxus wanted this, that he was just feeling a bit shy in a new situation. He took a seat beside Laxus on the couch and titled his head to the side a little has he inquired further.

“What's wrong?”

Laxus snapped out of his blank stare and shook his head. “Nothing. It was fun. I just think he's far more interested in you than in me.”

Bickslow frowned. “To me it looked more like you aren't all that interested in him.”

Laxus frowned back.

“He did try to come close to you, but you didn't exactly respond. He came over to kiss you. He tried to talk. Afterwards he tried to cuddle a bit, but you always pulled back, so he stopped trying”, Bickslow pointed out.

“He did?”

“You are so daft sometimes.”

“Oy.”

“Gyha. Next time just make it clear what you want, hm?”

“Yea, I guess.”

Giving Laxus a peck, Bickslow scooted closer.

“Laxus? You didn't mind that I invited him to stay the night, did you?”

“No. No, not at all. That's fine. It's polite.” Laxus nodded as if to convince himself.

“But?”

“Nothing. I was just surprised. It was the right choice.”

Smiling, Bickslow came closer still and pressed his nose against Laxus's cheek.

“And? Did you like seeing me give head to another guy?”

Having already expected this question, Laxus nodded, “I did. You're such a beautiful sight when you use your mouth.”

Just as he had hoped, Bickslow blushed at the bold answer.

Kissing him, Laxus added, “So fucking beautiful.”

“I’m glad. I thought you might be regretting the whole thing”, Bickslow chuckled.

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure I would go through with it”, Laxus admitted. “But it was fun. I’m glad that we did this. If nothing else, I think I learned something about my own needs.”

“Yea? Like what.”

“I need you, your affection. You make me feel seen. Last night I was feeling… I guess I was insecure about it because I wasn’t the main subject of your attention all of a sudden. At least not solely. You were so flirtatious.”

“Sorry.”

“No, it's okay. I think we should have talked more beforehand, though.”

“Probably, yea. That would have been clever”, Bickslow agreed. “How about now?”

“Sure. One thing I thought of...” Laxus turned entirely toward his boyfriend. “I'm not okay with you having sex with him when I'm not involved. I mean not just in another room and about to join, but not there at all.”

“Right, yea. Threesomes, okay. Sleeping with someone else on our own, not okay. Sounds fair.”

Laxus nodded, stroking a hand through the messy blue tuft on Bickslow's head.

“I have something as well”, Bickslow said. “Do you remember when you told me you don't often give head to people?”

Laxus chuckled. “I remember.”

“I guess it seems kind of special to me now, so maybe don't do that with others?”

“Not a problem. I wouldn't want to either way. You're the only one that tempts me.”

Laxus smirked as he spoke, because he knew how those last words crawled under Bickslow’s skin. The blush on Bickslow’s cheeks deepening was his proof.

Bickslow smiled. He had felt silly for considering it something exclusive, especially considering their less than conventional agreements on sex in the past. He was glad Laxus agreed. That in and of itself made it all the more special.

“That reminds me. We never even talked about being exclusive before now, did we? Not really. We just said we wouldn’t date other people”, he realised.

Laxus nodded. He had tried to breach the subject before, but there was always something more important happening.

“About time, huh?”

“So you really want to be sexually exclusive then?”, Bickslow asked.

“I… Yea. I do. You don’t?”

“I’m okay with it. I don’t have any strong preference to be honest”, Bickslow shrugged.

“Then lets keep it this way for now. No having sex with others on our own. You can kiss your friends. I get that it’s important to you. Maybe don’t make out with strangers. I think that would make me jealous”, Laxus enumerated.

“Okay. And you don’t give anyone but me blowjobs, be it in a threesome or not”, Bickslow agreed.

He tapped his chin. “Is flirting okay?”

“For my part”, Laxus shrugged.

“Good”, Bickslow grinned.

  


When Markus woke for the second time, he found himself alone in a stranger's bedroom. Or rather, two strangers' bedroom. Last night had truly been a joy. Getting up, he grabbed his trousers at least and went looking for the couple. He didn't have to search long. Laxus and Bickslow were sitting on the couch with their hands in another's hair and their lips locked.

“Are you two starting another round?”, he teased and Bickslow grinned at him from across the room.

“What if we are?”

“Can I join?”

Bickslow beckoned him over and kissed him as soon as he was in reach. Humming, the younger man pulled back and got up.

“If we're going for seconds, I need a moment”, he stated.

Giving Laxus an overt meaning look, he walked away.

Markus frowned after him. “What was that about?”

Laxus took a deep breath and stood as well. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“I uh. Bickslow pointed out to me that I never really, what to say? That I didn't really show any interest in you.”

“That's fine. I get it. He's your boyfriend. He's the one you are interested in. No hard feelings, really.”

“It's not that.”

“No?”

Laxus stepped closer. “No.”

Leaning in, he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

“Haha! We had very steamy sex just last night. You don't have to ask to kiss me.”

So Laxus did. He kissed Markus and pulled him close. He undid the tight jeans and urged them down the firm hips. He wrapped his hand around Markus's cock and stroked him until he grew hard.

To say Markus was surprised was an understatement. To say he was aroused was another. The sudden interest of the burly blonde and the rough hands on his skin were intoxicating. He could see why Bickslow liked sharing bed with this guy. Reaching for Laxus's trousers as well, he returned the favour and soon they both stood as naked as last night. This time they didn't have anyone between them, though.

Pressing a palm against Laxus's chest, Markus urged him back down on the couch. Straddling him, Markus took them both in hand together and they drowned their moans in a sea of kisses.

“Now that's what I'm talking about. Nice to see you two getting along.”

Laxus and Markus looked up at the interruption. Bickslow's hair was a little damp, and the towel he had wrapped around his hips was already falling to the floor. In his hands was instead a condom and the lube.

He sat down on the couch beside the two men and leaned in to kiss first their lay and then his boyfriend.

“Scoot. Let me in.”

Markus backed away to let Bickslow take his place. Accepting the condom, he unpacked it while he observed the pair and tried to figure out what Bickslow was planning. When the black and blue haired man spread a generous about of lube on his boyfriend's cock and instantly eased down on it, Markus's eyebrows raised.

“Haha. You sure are eager, huh?”

“Always”, Bickslow grinned over his shoulder.

Laxus once more felt that profound sense of pride well in his chest. Reaching up, he took a hold of Bickslow's hair to get the man's attention. Eyes locked, he planted his feet firmly on the ground and thrust up, enjoying the way Bickslow's jaw fell slack in pleasure.

Bickslow leaned down to press his lips against Laxus's neck while the blonde continued. He nearly forgot about Markus, but when the man appeared in his peripheral vision, he reached out. Grabbing a hold of one strong arm, he urged Markus behind himself and leaned back to let the firm chest meet his shoulders.

Twisting a little, he looked for the condom and saw that Makrus had taken the hint. Satisfied, he leaned forward over Laxus.

“Go on.”

“Are you sure?”, Markus asked.

He nodded, “Very sure.”

“Okay.”

Markus set a knee down on the couch as he tried to align himself. He wasn't entirely convinced this was going work, but if Bickslow wanted to, he was willing to try.

Laxus frowned at his boyfriend when he understood the intention. “Bickslow?”

“Hold still”, Bickslow smiled.

“Be careful.”

“Don't worry.”

“You've done this before?”

“Maybe.”

Laxus's eyebrows raised instead. “You are full of surprises.”

“It was just once.”

“Just?”, Laxus asked. “I don't think I would dare this even once.”

“It's nice, though”, Bickslow mused.

“Yea?”

“Mm.”

He could feel Markus slowly entering him. The pressure was hard to handle, but it sent a shiver up his spine. He could definitely see why this sort of thing wasn't for everyone, but it was definitely for him.

“Feels good.”

“It doesn't hurt?”, Markus asked.

“Just a little”, Bickslow mumbled.

He sighed and relaxed his body, nearly slumping down against Laxus's chest. Laxus and Markus kept their eyes glued on him.

They were all so fucking aroused in this moment.

Laxus, because his perfect boyfriend was in his lap, hard as rock and unapologetically greedy. Because Bickslow's skin was the perfect shade of red, his nipples perky, his breathing elevated, and his hair as messy as his eyes hazy.

Markus, because the dashing pair that had invited him in were not only using him for a quick fuck with a twist, but genuinely let him in on what they were doing. They showed him sides of themselves that he was pretty sure not many had the privilege of every seeing. They were desperate, honest, vulnerable, and comfortable, and all that despite barely knowing him. It was an astounding moment to be a part of.

Bickslow, because of all the reasons above, and the need of the two men currently inside him.

Markus kissed the hickey on his neck and he arched his back.

Laxus trailed his hand through the blue and black hair before reaching further back and stroking a thumb over Markus's cheek.

Their eyes met and Markus couldn't help but smile. The gruff guy from last night was all but gone. Now he understood exactly what Bickslow saw in this brutish blonde, beyond body. Taking the hand in his own, he gave it a kiss.

Seeing the gentle exchange, Bickslow smiled happily. Teddy bears, both of them.

Closing his eyes, he eased further down against Laxus and Markus followed suit, leaving him hugged from all sides as he bathed in ecstasy.

  



	16. Friend

Bickslow furrowed his brows. He hovered his pencil over the paper for a moment and then tapped the white sheet three times. Bringing the blunt end of the pen to his chin, he pressed lightly. What the hell had he missed?! The folds on his forehead grew deeper even and he slimmed his eyes at the deceptive writing. It had to be there somewhere. Either on the paper or in his head there was a puzzle piece that fit in. There had to be.

“And you are sure this is only about the latest chapter?”

“Yes. Everything you need was in that chapter”, Laxus nodded.

“And some elementary school math I suppose”, he added.

Bickslow tapped the pen against his chin. He read the entire thing one more time and shook his head.

“I’m lost. What did I miss?”

Laxus extended a finger toward the equation. “Minus.”

Bickslow groaned when he saw it. Grabbing the eraser, he removed everything and started over, including the minus this time around. A minute later he was once more dotting the paper. It still didn’t make sense.

“Did I miss another operator?”

“No. You…”

“Hush! You agreed. You only give me the answer to exactly what I ask”, Bickslow interrupted.

Nodding, Laxus leaned back again.

It was exhilarating to see Bickslow so engaged in his assignment. It had surprised him when Bickslow asked to study with him after school. It was a trial of sorts, a dry run to see what home schooling might mean if he really did quit.

“Okay. I have no idea. Where did I go wrong?”

Laxus pointed again, this time to one of the later lines of his calculation where he accidentally dropped a number.

Bickslow let the pen fall out of his hand.

“Urgh! I give up!”

“You know the method. You just need practice and patience”, Laxus encouraged.

Bickslow gave him a tired look and he nodded.

“Okay. Lets take a break. Hot chocolate, was it?”

“I didn’t solve the sheet”, Bickslow protested.

“Still. You deserve it. It’s all about effort.”

“I guess that’s acceptable then”, Bickslow chuckled.

After putting his books away, Bickslow followed his boyfriend into the kitchen just in time to stop him from creating a lumpy drink. Taking the package, Bickslow not only took over the cooking process but also the teacher’s role. Sometimes it felt really good that he knew some things that Laxus didn’t. That was one of the reasons he enjoyed practising guitar with Laxus on the weekends as much as he did.

Serving two hot cups, Bickslow settled down.

“This wasn’t too bad honestly”, he commented. “To learn with you I mean. It’s not like back then when I was forced to sit with you and we weren’t even able to be together. That was so tense.”

Taking a sip, he huffed a laugh. “You were such an asshole. I get it, though. I do.”

“Yea. It was a weird situation”, Laxus nodded.

He contemplated apologising, but decided not to. Bickslow didn’t give him much of a choice back at Fairy Tail, and he had expressed his thoughts on the subject often enough already. Instead focusing on the hot beverage, he enjoyed the intense flavour and let silence rest its wings between them.

When the last of the chocolate was gone, he sought to start a new conversation.

“It's my birthday soon.”

“Oh? When? How old are you getting now?”

“Next Wednesday. 25.”

“Awesome! How are you going to celebrate?”, Bickslow wondered and he gave a shrug.

“I'm not sure yet. Evergreen was hell-bent on organising something. I just hope it will be a rather settled event. I warned her not to set up some kind of party, but you never know.”

Bickslow laughed at that. That woman sounded like a lot of fun. From all he had heard, she was a little eccentric and very firm once she had made up her mind.

“That reminds me, I don't know any of your friends. Evergreen and Freed are from work, right? Who else do you usually meet?”

Laxus sighed. “No one really. I guess I was never very good at keeping in touch.”

“Really? No one at all?”, Bickslow asked in surprise.

“There are people I would recognise and whom I wouldn’t say no to if they reached out, but I don’t really keep tabs with anyone, no”, Laxus shrugged.

“Huh.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. I know why I can’t talk to any of my friends before Fairy Tail, but I thought everyone else had at least one childhood friend”, Bickslow said. “Maybe I watch too much TV”, he joked.

“That must be it”, Laxus chuckled.

  


Evergreen did want to organise a big party. 25 was a great number to celebrate loudly and wildly, but she listened to Laxus’s plea. A dinner party it was. The man didn’t have any guest list worth mentioning, though, so she improvised a little.

When Laxus turned up to the restaurant hand in hand with a cheeky looking man, she waved them over to the reserved table.

“Happy Birthday Laxus!”

Giving her a short hug, Laxus looked at the small circle of people.

“Thanks. This looks nice.”

“You are so very welcome.”

Turning to Bickslow, she extended her hand, “And you must be Bickslow.”

“The one and only”, Bickslow smiled, accepting the gesture.

Laxus went around the table and performed introductions. Freed Justine, the other one Bickslow had heard about from Laxus’s work, followed by a couple of names Bickslow would likely forget within the minute, all also from work, and then there was a mountain of a man with a wild mane of white hair that Laxus didn't seem to know either.

Laxus offered his hand to the man he had only ever seen in pictures.

“Nice to meet you.”

He didn’t quite like the way Elfman kept frowning at him, but he made his best effort to seem polite. Maybe it wasn't a frown. Maybe that was just the man's face. Laxus couldn't tell.

“Laxus as in Laxus Dreyar?”, the man asked and Laxus nodded.

“Yea?”

“So you're the one that cheated on my sister?”

Laxus frowned. “What?”

“My sister, Mirajane Strauss.”

Laxus swallowed hard. “Uh… yea. That would be me.”

“What the hell?”, Evergreen demanded.

Laxus held a hand in front of himself in defence. “It's a long story.”

“Is that the one you cheated on her with?”, Elfman asked, pointing across the table at Bickslow.

“No! No, he's not”, Laxus lied.

If Mirajane heard that he had cheated on her with Bickslow, their student, all hell would break loose.

“We met later. Met again, later. Again, long story”, he tried.

Evergreen gave an audible sigh. “Oh well. Let’s not ruin the mood now. It's not like Mirajane really cared all that much either way.”

“I care”, Elfman protested.

“That's stupid. Why would you care more than she did? She only told you because you asked why she was single again.”

The man huffed loudly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“A real man doesn't cheat on women.”

Laxus nodded in agreement. “I know. And I regret it. I really do.”

“How old is he even?”, Elfman gruffed, nodding at Bickslow again.

“I’m eighteen.”

“He’s almost a child!”, Elfman said, now back to pointing.

“Oy!”, Bickslow protested. 

He may be younger, and perhaps a little immature at times, but he was far from a kid. About to defend himself, he was cut off.

Evergreen clapped her hands together and declared, “Enough of this now. No drama during the party! It took time to organise this.”

Elfman shot Laxus a glare, but the stony look of his wife quieted him.

“Lets order”, Freed suggested and everyone silently agreed, taking their seats and picking their menus up.

Once that distraction was dealt with, awkwardness threatened to loom over their table again, but a few brave souls fought back against the invasive force.

“So, you’re finishing up high school?”, Freed asked across the table.

Bickslow shook his head. “Not quite. I’m still in secondary. Last year at Sabertooth.”

“Oh.”

“Yea. I had to retake”, Bickslow admitted.

“Well”, Freed shrugged. “Let it take as long as it may, am I right? You’ll get there.”

Bickslow nodded, eyes glued to the table. “I guess.”

“I know how that feels”, Freed said and Bickslow glanced over at the man, raising an eyebrow.

Freed Justine was a picture of perfection. He was slender and strong, tall, blessed with a gorgeous face, ridiculously well dressed, and his hair fell perfectly. From what Bickslow had heard, he was also very smart and well mannered. How the hell would someone like that know a damn thing about what Bickslow was feeling?

“I too had to retake some years”, Freed said and his frown deepened.

“Really?”

“Yea. I had a hard time in secondary. I barely followed the subject matter. I fell behind. That makes it even harder to understand a single thing. In the end I just gave up which meant I failed the year three times.”

Freed looked straight at Bickslow and smiled warmly. “But eventually I got there. You will too if you just keep trying. Trust in yourself.”

Bickslow was astounded. He sat silent for a long moment, letting the information sink in.

“Thank you. Really.”

Freed nodded slowly.

“Yes. Don’t worry about it”, Evergreen chimed in. “If nothing else, Laxus can tutor you.”

Bickslow chuckled at that. “Yea. He’s a great teacher.”

He could see Elfman slim his eyes at the blonde, but it seemed the threat of his wife’s presence was enough to keep him from expressing his thoughts for the time being.

The rest of the evening offered a delightful mixture of various food and drink, discussions about said food and drink, as well as intrigued questions about Bickslow and a lot of deflection of those questions.

Bickslow was smiling over both ears when they headed home. He could tell Laxus had enjoyed the festivities as well, even if he was a little grumpy about having the entire restaurant stare at him during the traditional birthday song, and even worse, clap on his behalf. Apparently having strangers cheer for your birthday was a bad thing.

Bickslow chuckled to himself at the though and Laxus raised an eyebrow.

“Laxus!”

Laxus spun around in surprise. He blinked once, twice, realised who it was that had called for him, and let go of Bickslow’s hand.

Laxus knew his grandfather was going to visit in the near future. Makarov always made sure to at least congratulate Laxus in person. It was a good excuse to force a meeting out of his busy grandson. What Laxus didn’t know was that his grandfather was in town already. And now the man was strolling toward them.

“Hey Gramps. What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were in Crocus.”

Bickslow frowned between his boyfriend and the tawny old man stopping but a few meters from them. Had it been any other rich and famous businessman, Bickslow could have understood the sudden tension in the air, but this was Laxus’s family.

The old man wasn’t exactly intimating, either. He was short, almost tiny, and had a warm, soft smile on his lips. Even his eyes seemed to smile. It was the kind of smile that only happy old people could have, a smile that told not only of momentary happiness, but of life long serenity. His voice however was far more lively. Still not intimidating, but more explosive and booming than one would expect from such a fragile statue.

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I combined my trip with a little bit of business. I was going to call you tonight. Happy birthday, Laxus. Did you celebrate yet?”

Laxus nodded. “Thanks. Yea, I did.”

“Sorry for missing it. I hope you had fun.”

Laxus shook his head. “It’s fine, really. It was good.”

With the pleasantries out of the way, Makarov turned to bewildered observer at his grandson’s side.

“And you are?”

“Bickslow. It is an honour, Mr. Dreyar”, Bickslow responded, offering a hand.

Shaking it firmly, Makarov smiled even brighter.

“How well mannered. How do you know my grandson?”

Bickslow opened his mouth to answer, but Laxus was quicker.

“We're friends.”

The words were rushed, but still well audible. As the last syllable died out, a crushing silence followed. The cars, the people, the entire city around them had been muted and all Laxus could hear was his own heartbeat. Bickslow’s eyes found his and he could see the mixture of emotions in them. There was confusion, sadness, anger, and worst of all, pain.

“It was nice to meet you, but we have somewhere to be”, Bickslow said flatly.

“I understand. Of course. Don’t let me stop you. I’ll call tonight”, Markov nodded.

Laxus nodded.

Bickslow nodded.

Then he walked.

Laxus hurried after his boyfriend. His heart was still pounding, and so must Bickslow’s now. He knew he had fucked up. He knew what was going to happen next. The film was playing out in his head already, and he frantically tried to sort his thoughts and align his words to mitigate the damage he had done.

They reached a park.

Bickslow stopped.

He turned.

Laxus swallowed hard.

“We're _friends_?! That's news to me.”

“Bickslow, I didn't…”

“Are you ashamed of me?!”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then what the fuck was that?! How could you say something like that?! Don't I mean more to you than that?! Friends?!”

“I'm sorry, but he doesn't know.”

“Clearly!”

Bickslow was screaming now. He swept his arms out to the sides, leaning forward, daring Laxus to a fight.

“Bickslow, just listen for one second!”

Bickslow glared back at him expectantly.

“I love you. I am not ashamed of you. I adore you.”

Laxus closed the distance between them and placed his hands on his boyfriend’s tense shoulders.

“But?”, Bickslow demanded.

“But I'm not ready to tell him.”

Bickslow pushed him away.

“You're not ready to tell your granddad that you love me? Great defence, really. That truly shows how deeply you feel it.”

“No. Bickslow! I mean… I'm not ready to tell him about...” Laxus took a shaky breath. “Me.”

“About you?”, Bickslow frowned, “Laxus? Are you closeted?”

Laxus shook his head, “Just a bit.”

“You're just a bit closeted? What, got one foot stuck in the door or something?”

Laxus shook his head again.

“It's just with my family. Which is him, basically.”

Bickslow took a step back and he could feel his heart constrict.

“Laxus, do you know why I have this tattoo?”, Bickslow asked, pointing to his nose.

There were tears in his eyes.

Laxus felt like he had been punched in the gut.

“No.”

“I was face down on the ground when one of my classmates stepped on my head. This covers the scars. I was lucky not to get any internal bleeding. Why else would anyone agree to tattoo a teenager in the face?”

Laxus didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think. He had so many questions. Why hadn’t Bickslow talked about this before? When did this happen? Why? Who did it? Did he get justice? Did that even matter? What else had happened? Why? Who? When? And how the hell was Bickslow still this fucking brave, this bold? How did he do it?

It was Bickslow that asked the next question.

“Now can you guess why that happened?”

“Bickslow…”

“I am not, _ever_ , going to be closeted again. Do you understand, Laxus?”

Bickslow shook his head. “Not even for you.”

There was a short pause, and the entire city was once more quiet around them.

“I'm not going to be your 'just friend'. I can't. Do you understand? I can't.”

Laxus nodded.

“So make up your mind”, Bickslow demanded, his voice shaky.

He took a deep breath and turned around.

“Where are you going?”, Laxus asked, fear evident in his voice.

Bickslow didn’t stop, didn’t turn his head. He just shrugged.

“I'm staying with a friend tonight. Or something.”

“Bickslow!”

Once the love of his life had turned the corner, Laxus too walked, but only a few steps. He let himself slump down on a bench and cried. He cried until the social rules of minding ones own business crumbled and someone stopped with an offer of tissues.

“Are you okay?”

“Yea.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yea.”

“Do you need help getting home?”

“No.”

Laxus finally forced himself to stand. He walked home. He dropped his bag and turned back around. He couldn't be in here all alone. No way. Not now.

Back in the street, he raked his mind. Where could he go?

He didn’t want to bother any of his colleagues with his heartbreak. He doubted they would make gossip of his private life, but it would be awkward at work if even one knew. Who else did he know?

Only one person came to mind.

  



	17. Family

Bickslow stopped at the city square. The golden rays of Mercurius danced in the fountain now. It was beautiful, but he couldn't bring himself to lift his head and see the entire spectacle. It hurt. His chest. His eyes. Burning. He turned away from the castle.

Sighing, he kept walking. It must have been an hour now since he left the park, but he didn't feel like he was done yet. He was heading somewhere still.

The city was bustling with happy people around him, marvelling at the glimmering sunlight, having an evening coffee or a beer with their friends. Bickslow pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up and tucked his hands into his pockets.

Where the fuck was he going to go?

He badly wanted to join one of the groups sitting in the beer gardens, talk himself to a drink, and then head somewhere to dance and fuck the pain away. But he couldn't do that. There was no way he could do that now. He had promised Laxus. No more of that.

Reaching the train station, he looked up. The dreary grey façade felt like a much more fitting canvas for the day. Walking around the back, he stopped and watched for a while.

People hurried by, stressed and dragging heavy bags. Some were smiling, walking from train platforms and into the arms of old friends and lovers. Others were near tears and heading in the opposite direction.

Why did people do that to themselves? Walk away from what made them happy? It was fucked up.

Bickslow noticed movement at his side and turned his head. A middle aged man draped in a large mouse grey coat dug through his pockets and produced a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Bickslow bit his lip.

Oh fuck it.

“Mind if I bum one?”

  


Standing in silence beside the man that so kindly shared with him, Bickslow took another drag. He closed his eyes and sighed his exhale.

“Rough day?”, the man in grey asked.

Bickslow huffed a laugh. “You could say that.”

“Got fired?”

Bickslow held the cigarette over the ashtray that was strategically situated over the trash can and flicked some of the ash off.

“I had a fight with my partner.”

“Yikes.”

The man blew smoke into the air, watching it disperse before he spoke again.

“Are you worried it means the end?”

“I'm scared to death”, Bickslow admitted.

He couldn't say why he even answered the question. There was something about this dull corner of the city and the tired looking man. It was comforting right now. Or maybe he just needed to talk.

Sighing, he nodded back at the man.

“You?”

“What makes you think I had a bad day?”

Bickslow raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled.

“Yea.”

Taking his turn to use the tiny ashtray, he grumbled.

“I got fired.”

“Yikes”, Bickslow offered back and the man smiled.

“Andrew”, he introduced himself, holding out a hand.

“Bickslow.”

Andrew shook his hand, but he didn't let go after. Instead, he softly stroked a thumb over Bickslow's hand. He really was very warm, his skin soft. Bickslow looked up, meeting the dark brown eyes.

“You know, we could probably find a little comfort. If you want”, Andrew suggested and Bickslow drew his hand away.

“No thanks.”

“Sorry. I thought…”, Andrew said, making a face.

Bickslow shook his head, forcing a smile.

“No, it's fine. You didn't misunderstand. I would likely have taken you up on the offer had it been a couple of months earlier. But not now.”

“Right”, the man nodded awkwardly.

Bickslow sniggered. Taking a last drag, he put the cigarette out and clapped the man on the shoulder.

“Thank you Andrew. And good luck.”

Andrew nodded, smiling again as well now.

Bickslow pulled his hood back down. He finally knew where he was headed. A friend's place is what he had said. And he clearly did need to talk, as well as some comfort.

Reaching the modest row house, he knocked and stepped back. Standing still now, he noticed his feet were starting to get tired. Crossing his fingers behind his back, he exhaled slowly.

Yukino opened the door and blinked back at him in surprise.

“Oh, hello Bickslow. What's up?”

“Hi. I, uh… Is there any chance I could stay the night?”

“Oh. Uh, yea. Let me just ask.”

Turning her head, she called out and a white haired woman appeared behind her in the door. Smiling brightly, she nodded.

“Of course he can stay. Come on in.”

“Thank you Madam.”

“Haha. There's no need for that. You're Bickslow right? Yukino told me all about you.”

“It's all lies”, he joked and she chuckled.

“I'll find you a mattress and a blanket.”

“I know where they are”, Yukino protested.

“Aright”, her mother smiled.

Leaning toward Bickslow, she lowered her voice and teased, “So grown up.”

“Mom!”

“I didn't say anything”, she defended before disappearing down the hallway again.

Bickslow couldn't help but laugh.

“Okay. You're mom is cool.”

Yukino sighed and rolled her eyes before showing him upstairs and to her room.

It was a lovely little place. In one end of the room stood a desk littered with homework and little collectible spirit figures. Most collected the mages rather than the spirits, but not Yukino. She liked them. They were cuter according to her. Seeing them lined up, Bickslow could agree with that sentiment.

A fluffy white rug spread out from the desk all the way to the other side where her bed stood crammed with blue pillows. The third significant piece of furniture was a dresser. It was a large wooden cabinet, painted in a crisp white.

“Are you okay?”, Yukino wondered.

“Not really”, Bickslow admitted.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Bickslow tensed. That was one of the reasons he came. He felt like he should be able to talk to Yukino. She was a friend, in school, in dance. She was kind, calm. Now that she asked, though, he felt a stone growing in his stomach.

“I. Uh, yea. Probably. But maybe a little later?”

Yukino nodded.

“Okay. Just tell me if there is something I can do.”

Bickslow smiled at that. She really was the best kind of friend.

“You're doing more than enough already. Thanks.”

“So…” Yukino mused. “You wanna play something? I've got two controllers and a laptop.”

Bickslow's smile widened into a grin.

“Yea.”

Playing for a few hours really helped take the edge off. Bickslow lost track of time. When there was a knock on the door, it struck him just how relaxed he was feeling.

Yukino's mother stuck her head in through the door and smiled.

“Dinner is ready.”

“Uhu”, Yukino nodded without looking away from the screen. Once she could, she paused, saved, and put the controller down.

“Let's go.”

Bickslow looked up in surprise.

“I, uh. I'm not really hungry to be honest.”

“You've gotta eat something at least. If you don't my mom will be worried”, Yukino insisted.

Sighing, Bickslow got up as well and followed her downstairs. Awkwardly sitting down at the huge kitchen table, he tried and failed to repress any memories from his time living with other families.

Another white haired girl came downstairs, phone in hand and a bored look on her face. She flopped down at the table.

“Sorano. You know the rules”, their mother urged and she sighed.

Putting her phone down, she looked up and realised that there was someone new at the table. It was the third time in a day that Bickslow found himself being pointed at across a table.

“Who's he?”

“I'm Bickslow”, he answered.

“Huh.”

The two frowned at another across the silverware.

“I didn't know you had a sister”, Bickslow commented and Yukino gave a shrug.

Sorano smirked at that.

“And I didn't know you had a friend that's this cute. Where the hell did you find him? I mean, if I didn't know better I'd think you're dating him.”

“Ha. Ha. Oh, how very original”, Yukino scoffed.

Bickslow cracked a smile. His heart felt just a little lighter when he heard the siblings bickering.

Yukino and Sorano's mother came from the kitchen with a big cooking pot. Setting it down on a coaster in the middle of the table, she smiled.

“You don't have any allergies do you? I forgot to ask.”

Bickslow shook his head.

“Nope. Thanks.”

Accepting a bowl of soup, he ate with new found appetite. The three women took turns talking about their day and finally turned their collective attention to him.

“I.. uh, kinda had a rough day so...”, he answered awkwardly.

“That's okay. You don't need to say anything if you don't want to”, the mother nodded.

“Thank you.”

Once dinner was over and they had put their dishes aside, Bickslow headed back up the stairs with his schoolmate.

“Yukino, can I ask? What was that about 'If I didn't know better'?”,

“I'm ace and aro. As in, asexual and aromantic.”

“Oh I see.”

Bickslow giggled and Yukino crossed her arms over her chest.

“What?”

“Just… your family is great.”

She sighed, and smiled, nodding her head.

“I do love them. Even if my sister is incredibly annoying a lot of the time.”

“Gyha.”

This is what a family could look like, huh? Three women living under one roof and neither trying to outshine the other. It wasn't perfect, but it was so powerful, so loving. Bickslow lost his smile. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he ran a hand through his hair.

“I think I fucked up.”

  


  


  


Markus was surprised to find a familiar face at the door.

“Hello Handsome”, he smiled.

Laxus just gave a nod in return. A frown settled Markus's his face.

“You're here alone? That's a surprise. Or rather, you're here. That's a surprise.”

“Can I… I don't even know. Talk to you?”, Laxus requested.

Markus nodded and stepped back, motioning him through the door.

“What happened? Don't tell me you and Bickslow broke up?”

“No”, Laxus answered as he walked inside.

“At least I hope not.”

“Yikes.”

Markus closed the door and made a face. Nodding toward the little couch he had crammed into his studio flat, he offered, “Sit.”

“What's your comfort? Tea, coffee, or whiskey?”

“Whiskey”, Laxus grumbled.

He said it before remembering his promise. He wasn’t supposed to drink. He had joined Bickslow in his abstinence. He hesitated for a moment, but eventually just sighed and sat down.

Fuck it, he needed this right now.

“Neat?”

“Yea.”

Accepting a generous glass, he took a sip. The familiar smoky taste and the burn as it went down allowed him to exhale properly for what seemed the first time in hours.

It was definitively what he needed right now.

“Thanks.”

Markus sat down beside him and poured himself a glass as well before eyeing Laxus from head to toe. Leaning back, he draped an arm over the backrest of the couch and nodded.

“Aright. Tell me. What's got your feathers ruffled? From the start.”

Laxus took a larger gulp and set the glass down with a hiss. He noticed his hands were shaking. Folding them together, he pressed them against his forehead.

“Fuck. I fucked up. Really bad.”

  



	18. Sorry

“Thank you again. And sorry for the inconvenience.”

Markus shook his head and smiled.

“Any time Handsome. Take care now, and talk to him.”

Laxus nodded back before slowly making his way down the stairwell. Damn. He felt like he had been hit by a truck. He ended up drinking far too much in some doomed effort to relax. Sighing, he opened the heavy oak door out to the street. The sunlight was mercilessly bright, the world around him positively lurid.

Groaning, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and began to walk.

“Did you have fun?!”

His head snapped up. Bickslow was striding toward him with sure steps, anger clear in every feature. Looking back at the door he had just excited, Laxus suddenly sobered up. He could smell the whiskey on himself, and remembered he had not bothered to comb his hair.

Shit. This had to look bad.

“No! It's. It's not like that!”

Bickslow stopped just short of his reach, throwing one arm up in the general direction of the flat he had spent the night in.

“Oh no? You've just randomly started sleeping over here?!”

Laxus winced. “Could you not yell?”

“You're hung over, aren't you?!”, Bickslow bellowed.

“Yea”, Laxus admitted.

He felt a wave of shame crash over him. He had sworn to not drink again, to join Bickslow in his abstinence. He had fucking promised. That meant a lot, especially to Bickslow. He couldn't say 'promise' and then turn around and break it. Not with Bickslow.

“Fuck you”, Bickslow hissed before turning on his heel.

“Bickslow! Wait!”

Fuck his head was hurting!

“Please!”

Bickslow stopped. Looking back, he saw tears gathering in the orange eyes.

“Just, please, Bickslow”, Laxus managed. “Lets go home.”

Bickslow sighed. He was so angry that it physically burned in his chest. But he also wanted to go home together. No matter how much it hurt right now, he did want to be alone with Laxus again, if so just for a moment. If they could go back to that serenity they had just for a little while…

That feeling was awfully familiar. What were they doing, honestly? How was it they always came back to this? Huffing, he managed a little smirk.

“Don't you have a class to attend or something?”

Laxus exhaled in relief.

“I'm ditching.”

Bickslow came closer, close enough for Laxus to really see his face despite the colours of day dancing on his headache.

“Can teachers do that?”

“When we have an emergency.”

Bickslow cupped Laxus's face in his hands and Laxus sighed a tiny moan. The warm hands felt so good on his skin right now, putting a blanket over the fires that were burning inside is chest and head.

Seeing the broad shoulders relax a little, Bickslow felt a sting of anger returning to him, but also an equal wave of care. He was so fucking angry, but he wanted Laxus to feel better. It was the single most confusing state of mind he had ever found himself in. He ran a hand through the ruffled blond hair.

“You look like shit and you smell worse. Come on.”

  


After guiding his partner home, Bickslow shooed him into the shower and turned to the kitchen to cook a proper meal that might help with the hangover.

Newly showered and in a fresh set of clothes, Laxus sat down at the kitchen table. The plate Bickslow had prepared for him featured a perfectly made omelet with bacon and various vegetables. Laxus could feel his heart flutter in his chest. Looking up at his boyfriend, he smiled.

“You're an angel.”

Bickslow didn't smile back. He averted his eyes, instead staring at the little red light on the stove that indicated it had recently been used.

“Bickslow, I am sorry. Really. I didn't know that my words would hurt you like that. I didn't know.”

Bickslow nodded. He swallowed hard and finally forced himself to look back at the love of his life, sitting there opposite him in their apartment, their piece of heaven. Now it all hurt so much. How had he let it become this way? He was so relieved that it wasn't over.

“I know. I'm sorry too. I should talk to you more.”

“No”, Laxus protested, but Bickslow raised a hand, insisting.

“Yea. I should. I can't expect you to read my fucking mind.”

“Maybe, but no, you don't have to push yourself. You never have to push yourself. You never ever have to go digging in any memories when you're not ready to. You don't owe that to anyone, least of all me. I will be here no matter what.”

Laxus took his hand and he entwined their fingers.

Bickslow swallowed hard. Was that really okay? Was it really okay for him to keep things to himself to the point where he hurt Laxus as much as he did yesterday? He frowned down at the table. And yet in this sea of guilt, there also still danced a strong flame of anger.

He let go and leaned back in his chair. He could hear Laxus take a sharp breath at the loss of contact, but he couldn't bring himself to look up.

“I'm sorry Bickslow. I love you so fucking much. I was so scared of loosing you. I couldn't stand being here alone. That's why I went to Markus. To talk. That's all I swear. I didn't mean to drink either. I just...”

Bickslow shook his head.

“I know. I was just so frustrated. I know you would never do something like that.”

He finally looked up again. Laxus was so tense, shoulders drawn up and face grim. Offering his hand again, Bickslow took a deep breath.

“I love you.”

The corner of Laxus's mouth curled up shortly.

“I love you too.”

Bickslow entwined their fingers again, stroking softly over Laxus's hand. He was still angry. But he wasn't really sure at whom any more.

“I'm sorry I left you there like that. I shouldn’t have done that. I never really had a family that way, so I wouldn't know what it's like to fear their judgement.”

Laxus nodded. He turned their joined hands over and let his thumb stroke over Bickslow's skin instead.

“But you're right about one thing. You should never be shoved into a closet by anyone, least of all me. Let me make it up to you. My granddad is still in town. I'll come out to him. Today.”

Bickslow met his eyes, frown deepening.

“You don't have to do that. Just as little as you want to push me into hiding do I want to out you. It's okay if you're not ready for that. I, of all people, know that it isn't that fucking easy to be out. I had no right to put such an ultimatum on you. It's not fair and I'm sorry.”

Smiling now, Laxus nodded.

“I want to, though. I have been wanting to tell him for a while, and now that I have you, I want him to know. I want to stand with you, proudly.” 

He took a measured breath.  “I want to. I'm just… I'm scared.”

Bickslow squeezed the hand in his own.

“I'll go with you.”

Laxus's eyebrows raised at that.

“Really?”

“Of course”, Bickslow nodded.

“You know what? You should just invite him over instead. Make him come here, so you're in the comfort of your own home, and I will be right here by your side.”

Finally they were both smiling at each other again in their lovely little apartment, their piece of heaven.

“I like that idea.”

Smirking, Bickslow nodded toward the warm plate.

“For now however, you need to eat. And after that, I'm thinking make-up sex?”

Chuckling, Laxus nodded, “I like that idea as well.”

  


  


  


“Are you sure about this?”

Bickslow frowned down at Laxus, lying naked on the sheets in all his glory. Did he not want to have sex right now? Bickslow had learned to accept that the two of them weren't a perfect match when it came to lust and drive, but Laxus did seem enthusiastic just a moment ago.

“What do you mean?”

Laxus shrugged and sat up to stroke a hand through Bickslow's hair.

“I just… I don't know if this is the best way to handle the entire situation.”

“How else do you suggest we handle it?”

“I don't know. I just don't want you to feel obliged to do anything just because...”, Laxus sighed, not entirely sure how to end his sentence.

Smiling, Bickslow folded his arms over Laxus's shoulders. Pressing his forehead against his boyfriend's, he let out but a whisper.

“Laxus.”

Placing a soft kiss on the warm lips, he drew back and met the stormy orange eyes, those caring, soft eyes of his man.

“The exact same applies. You don't have to do anything. But I for one need you to fuck me. Like, right now.”

“Need me to?”, Laxus asked, an amused huff following.

Smirking now, Bickslow entwined his hands in the blond hair and kissed Laxus firmly, letting him know just how much, how he longed. He could feel Laxus respond, the hand in his hair firming its hold in turn, Laxus's lips parting, and his breath growing deeper.

Finally pulling back, Bickslow nodded at him, “Yea. I need you.”

“And”, he added, getting off Laxus's lap.

Reaching under the bed, he produced a package wrapped in lilac paper. Holding it out, he smiled widely.

“You're gonna need this.”

Laxus accepted the parcel with a perplexed frown.

“You got me a present?”

“Of course I did”, Bickslow chuckled. “Go on. Open it.”

Curious, Laxus unwrapped the parcel. Turning the white box over in his hands, he realised what it was and blushed deeply. Bickslow laughed heartedly at his expense.

“Breathe. It's just a butt plug”, he teased.

“Yea. I can see that”, Laxus grumbled. “But why?”

“Now you can enjoy anal at the same time as I ride you. It even moves”, Bickslow declared happily and Laxus was sure his face was now the shade of a ripe tomato.

“Gyha. Let me help you with that”, Bickslow chuckled, snatching the box from him and unpacking it.

After a few minutes dedicated to finding batteries and reading the label of their lube to make sure it really is water based, Bickslow was kneeling between Laxus's legs with the slicked up toy in hand, and Laxus was increasingly sure he would spontaneously combust.

“Aright?”, Bickslow asked and he nodded.

Lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling, he took a measured breath, doing is utmost to relax. When Bickslow's warm hand and the in contrast cold toy nudged his skin, he jerked. Another breath, deeper this time. He could feel the foreign object easing into his body. It wasn't a bad sensation, but to say it was pleasurable would be a lie. Giving it a chance, he closed his eyes and let Bickslow seat the plug entirely. Laxus jerked again when the toy began to vibrate.

“That feels weird”, he grumbled, frowning deeply.

“Weird? Really?”, Bickslow sniggered.

“Maybe this will help”, he teased, leaning down to kiss Laxus's half-hard cock.

Watching Bickslow tease along his shaft with lips and tongue, Laxus soon sported a full erection, and sure enough, that weird vibrating sensation began to feel more and more intense, and more enjoyable by the second. Bickslow turned the toy up and he let out a deep moan. When the hot breath left his cock, he huffed displeased, but Bickslow had no intentions to let him wait.

Grabbing the lube and straddling Laxus's hips, Bickslow didn't waste any time, easing down on Laxus's cock as quick as he could manage. Eager, he placed his hands on the firm abs and strained his thighs, at once going for a steady pace.

Laxus grabbed a hold of his hips, but not to hold him still. Instead Laxus urged him to hurry, move more. Happy to comply, Bickslow rode his boyfriend as quick as he wanted. Any worried that had clouded his mind were replaced by need.

Laxus didn't tell him to calm down, didn't try to hinder him, he just moaned, hips bucking up eagerly. He was so gorgeous like that, all lost in desire and no longer concerned with being too loud, or when he would come. He was just taking and enjoying it to the fullest.

Bickslow reached down to stroke himself. Watching the greedy desire in the orange eyes, that perfect storm unleashed again, he let himself be swept away in it. Firming his grip, he groaned.

“Fuck.”

His hoarse curse only seemed to entice Laxus further. Fingers dug into his skin and Laxus fucked up into him until he couldn't hold himself upright any more. Slumping down against Laxus's chest, he arched his back to still have the room to get himself off. One hand tangled in the blanket under them, he whined. He spilled between them, pressing his face against the broad chest under him.

Laxus stilled, his entire body rising and falling for every breath. Warm fingers stroked over Bickslow's sides. He looked up to see Laxus's eyes fixed on him, like there was nothing else of interest in this world.

Forcing himself up on his arms again, Bickslow smiled.

“Fuck I love you.”

“I love you t…”

Laxus's answer was cut off when Bickslow picked his movements back up. Moaning under his devilish perfect man, Laxus let his hands resettle on those perfect hips.

Bickslow was biting his lip, enduring the far too intense sensation and battling any hint of exhaustion that tried to make its way through his body. The look of Laxus underneath him was far more important, so fucking beautiful. It didn't take long before Laxus was once more lost in pleasure, bucking up and moaning loudly for every movement they made together. Laxus clawed at his hips as he shuddered in orgasm, a feral groan accompanying him off the edge.

As soon as he came down from his peak, Laxus hissed, trying to reach for the toy. Getting off Laxus and turning the toy off, Bickslow softly eased to plug from him and Laxus let his head fall back on the pillow.

“Shit”, he sighed tiredly, a satisfied smile plastered on his face.

Pleased that his idea had worked so very well, Bickslow cuddled down beside him and gave him a tender kiss, letting it linger. Running a hand through the now sweaty blond hair, he smiled.

“Happy Birthday Baby.”

  



	19. Introducing

When the doorbell rang, Laxus finally stopped pacing around the apartment. Bickslow let out a relieved sigh. Watching his boyfriend walk a dent into the floor was agitating. Then again, seeing Laxus freeze in place wasn't much better.

“That was the door”, he prompted and Laxus nodded.

Clearing his throat, he walked to the front door and took a hold of the handle and the lock. Taking a deep breath, he opened.

Makarov smiled at his grandson.

“Hello Laxus! I'm surprised you would invite me. You're always so busy”, he teased as he stepped into the apartment and slid his coat off his shoulders.

“Well, I had time”, Laxus shrugged.

“I'm glad.”

Bickslow came to the door as well and Makarov happily shook his hand, “Hello again. Bickslow, was it?”

“Actually…”, Laxus began.

Taking Bickslow's hand, he swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to speak, but only managed to take a shaky breath. Bickslow squeezed his hand a little and smiled encouragingly. Clearing his throat again, Laxus exhaled and went for it.

“This is Bickslow, my boyfriend.”

“Oh”, Makarov nodded.

“We live here together”, Laxus added hurriedly and his grandfather smiled.

“I see. I'm happy for you.”

Laxus frowned, “Really?”

“Yes”, Makarov nodded. “What did you expect me to say?”

“I dunno. That I am ruining the family name? That I'm a disgrace? Something along those lines.”

Shaking his head, his grandfather frowned, “No, Laxus. While your father might have thought so, it was him, not you, that was a disgrace to this family. It was clear from a young age that you were more interested in boys. I don't care about that.”

“It was?”, Laxus asked perplexed.

“Yes. I remember you used to have your action figures hold hands or save each other from the evil stuffed animals.” Makarov chuckled, “Which mages where it you had? Was it…”

Laxus waved it off, “Okay, I get it. Please stop talking.”

“Haha. I remember once when I came to tuck you in and both…”

“Don't. Say it”, Laxus interrupted.

“They were cuddled down together under their own little blanket beside you.”

Laxus grumbled irritably.

Bickslow couldn't help but laugh. “You played lovers with your action figures?”

“Shut up.”

“Pfft. That's adorable.”

Laxus clicked his tongue. This sure as hell wasn't how he had expected the conversation to go. That was a good thing. A very good thing. But…

“You didn't?”, the elder asked and Bickslow shook his head.

“No. I never had any of my own. Had I, I would have held some gay-ass tea parties, rest assured.”

“Haha.”

Laxus interrupted the merry chit chat, frowning deeply, “But...”

Looking back at his grandfather, he wondered, “If you knew all along that I'm queer, why didn't you say anything?”

Taken aback by the question, Makarov let his gaze fall to the floor. “I didn't think it worth mentioning. You seemed so confident in your own skin. I'm awfully sorry if you thought different.”

He nodded to himself. “I should have realised that your farther had said something to you. I should have made sure. I'm so sorry.”

“It's fine”, Laxus said at once.

The way he said it was completely deadpan, not an ounce of emotion in it. Bickslow frowned at him, squeezing his hand a little again.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm fine”, Laxus nodded.

Pulling his hand away, he motioned vaguely behind himself and left with a quiet, “Excuse me.”

Bickslow followed him with his gaze as he disappeared down the hallway. Looking back at the short elder standing in their hallway with an equally worried frown on his face, Bickslow sighed.

“Make yourself at home. There's tea and… things. I'll check on… yea”, he managed and Makarov nodded in agreement.

  


Closing the bedroom door for privacy, Bickslow walked over to the bathroom door. He could hear Laxus inside, breathing hard. Was he crying?

Bickslow knocked, “Laxus?”

The room went quiet.

“Laxus? Are you okay?”

“Yea”, a curt answer came.

It wasn't even close to calm.

“You suck at lying, honestly”, Bickslow sighed.

He knocked again, “Come on. Open up or I'll come in either way.”

When Laxus didn't react, he dug for a coin in his pockets. Pressing into the slit on the lock, he turned it and opened the door. Laxus stood in the middle of the room, facing away. His shoulders were drawn up, his stance rigid.

“Hey now, don't hide from me”, Bickslow tried cheerfully.

Walking over to his boyfriend, he saw that Laxus was in fact crying. Rubbing a hand over his back, Bickslow wasn't quite sure what to do.

“What's wrong?”, he asked.

“I'm so relieved, and at the same time…” Laxus shook his head. “My father really does hate me. He knows and he hates me for it.”

His voice broke and he turned to Bickslow, hiding his face against the man's shoulder.

Bickslow bit back his first thought. Who gives a shit?! Apparently Laxus did. He wouldn't deny the man's feelings. He didn't understand these things, because he never had a family like this. Instead, he simply held Laxus tight.

  


Makarov sighed as he watched Bickslow disappear down the hallway. Now he had done it. He really should have said something. Taking a seat in the living room, he waited anxiously. It was about an hour later that the door to the bedroom opened again and the two men exited. Putting his phone away, Makarov got up.

“Are you okay Laxus?”, he asked, hoping for all in the world that the answer would be yes.

Laxus nodded a little and he exhaled in relief.

An awkward moment passed silence. No one really knew what to say. What was the next move here?

“So… tea?”, Bickslow suggested and Makarov nodded.

“That sounds lovely. Thank you.”

Turning the water cooker on and picking cups and teapot from the cabinet, Bickslow broke the awkward silence.

“So, what was Laxus like when he was little?”

Smiling, the elder took a seat at the kitchen table, beginning, “Oh, he was a hard child.”

“Can we please talk about something else?”, Laxus sighed.

His grandfather raised a finger. “When he was maybe ten, he insisted to start working out. He said he was going to be strong enough to protect us all, like the mages from TV. He was a little hero at heart.”

“That's so cute”, Bickslow chuckled.

“Nice weather out, isn't it?”, Laxus tried, but no luck.

“He wanted to be a policeman or a fire fighter”, Makarov gossiped.

“Didn't we all?”, Bickslow smiled as he measured tea into the bag.

“Haha, how true. But he did find his passion for teaching as early as eighth grade.”

“Oh? How's that?”

Laxus sighed, giving up and letting the conversation happen.

“A classmate of his had a hard time with mathematics. He tried to help, but soon found that it was hard to do, so he got himself a book from the library on teaching.”

“What a little hero”, Bickslow commented.

Placing sugar on the table, he gave Laxus a kiss and a teasing wink.

“Indeed”, Makarov agreed and Laxus repressed the urge to bang his head against a wall.

“His teenage years were a little rowdy, though.”

Raising his eyebrows, Bickslow inquired, “Rowdy, huh?”

“Oh yes. He stayed away all night, smoked, drank. I barely new what to do with him”, Makarov sighed.

“Oho? Did he now?”

Shooting Laxus an amused look, Bickslow got an exhausted sigh in return.

After more embarrassing stories had been revealed than Laxus would have liked ,and the tea can was emptied, Makarov excused himself.

At the door, he looked around for a moment.

“Shoe cane?”

“We don't have one”, Bickslow said.

“Oh. You should invest in one. They're handy”, Makarov recommended before making do without.

Laxus just forced a smile in answer.

When Makarov was ready to leave, Laxus leaned down and hugged him tight. His grandfather's eyes went wide in surprise. Smiling, he returned the embrace best he could.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

Laxus nodded before letting go.

Looking to Bickslow, Makarov pointed at his grandson and instructed, “Take care of him for me.”

“Will do Sir”, Bickslow nodded amused.

Waving goodbye, Laxus closed the door and sighed deeply. His heart felt heavy and full in his chest. He noticed Bickslow smirking at him and frowned.

“What?”

“Mage figures, huh?”

Growling, Laxus shook his head, but he couldn't help the smile on his lips.

“Shut it.”

“Gyha.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the planned ending but I am going to mark this work as done because I am feeling that it is becoming more and more unlikely that I will finish and this seems like an okay~ish point to break at. I may or may not get around to it again. We'll see what the future holds, but for now I will focus my efforts on other projects instead.  
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Here's [my Tumblr](http://seradeposts.tumblr.com/) if you want updates or wanna talk to me for whatever reason :3


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